Can a racial slur ever "slip?"

[Senusret I]

You have an acquaintance of a different race.

You overhear this friend using a racial slur.

You confront them. They apologize, admit that it was stupid.


1) Will your relationship change?

2) Can racial slurs just "slip?"

[Sistermadly]

1) Probably not. People are human, and people make mistakes. It's an opportunity for a teachable moment.

2) Yes. People are products of their environment, and just because someone has loose lips, I don't think it's automatically an indication of what's really in their heart.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
1) Probably not. People are human, and people make mistakes. It's an opportunity for a teachable moment.

2) Yes. People are products of their environment, and just because someone has loose lips, I don't think it's automatically an indication of what's really in their heart.

I'm with you, Sistermadly.

[tunatartare]

It would depend on the context of what was said. But generally, I have to agree with Sistermadly and PreciousJeni.

[James]

Slips happen.

As far as any long term repercussions, it would depend on what they said and how they said it.

[WhiteDaisy128]

The only way I think one could "slip" is if it was in a phrase, for example, in the south, you'll often hear someone say that something is "jimmy-rigged" (if it's held together with something unconventional, etc.)...well people also say that something is "n....a' rigged" - so perhaps in company of mixed ethnicities that would "slip," where the intention might not really be an attack, but because of the history of the word and meanings, could certainly be taken as one.

Did that all make sense? Other than that, I don't really think a racial slur could be "slipped."

[Taualumna]

What if someone doesn't know that a word is a slur? My cousin likes to call Japanese food "Jap food." I think she believes that that term is "cool" and doesn't realize that it could upset people. I

[christiangirl]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
I'm with you, Sistermadly.

Me, three.

[AKA_Monet]

1) For me the relationship will change. That's just me.

2) Personally, I do not think that racial slurs just "slip" and that anyone just forgets that the other person of a different ethnic group from him or her is no longer relevant. The minute one thinks that the color line is irrelevant, is the minute that the "illusion of inclusion winds up making him or her have delusions..."

[kddani]

Originally posted by Taualumna
What if someone doesn't know that a word is a slur? My cousin likes to call Japanese food "Jap food." I think she believes that that term is "cool" and doesn't realize that it could upset people. I

Then you politely explain it to her.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
1) For me the relationship will change. That's just me.

2) Personally, I do not think that racial slurs just "slip" and that anyone just forgets that the other person of a different ethnic group from him or her is no longer relevant. The minute one thinks that the color line is irrelevant, is the minute that the "illusion of inclusion winds up making him or her have delusions..."

AKA_Monet, let God deal with it.

[Scandia]

Well, I do not know if a specific racial slur may slip. A person could be extremely angry and had been hurt, so he or she may not be thinking as rationally as usual.

But sometimes a racist or offensive comment that does not include an insult or a slur can and does slip. If the person apologizes, especially if the person was not aware of how offensive it was, it would not change my relationship with that person.

I am not likely to be around someone who is always insulting other individuals or groups. But I am not going to scream bloody murder and cut off contact with the person and badmouth him or her simply because of a prejudiced remark.

[Senusret I]

I'll answer my own question, since it obviously happened to me.

In context, the person wasn't saying "damn _____'s" and forgot I was around. It wasn't an act of hate. He sent me an IM that was meant for someone else.

He basically said he was being stupid and he apologized. He also blamed it on pop culture, saying that "shizzle my nizzle" was the same thing.

I lean toward AKA_monet. The relationship has changed. I can't trust someone who will use the word. Period, stupid or not. And maybe for that person, slip ups happen. But still, it's like damn.... you have it in you to say it.

It's someone who I respected, went to bat for, and even ignored some of the things they did or said that I didn't agree with. Yeah, they didn't ask for that kind of support...but when you really do value someone's friendship, you build up their character, whether they know it or not.

So that's that.....it was a hurtful moment, but I'm glad it's out there and over. At least I won't look like Boo Boo the Fool supporting someone who will use a racial slur when I'm not "around" so to speak.

[FSUZeta]

i think that slurs can "slip" out, most often if the person uses them regularly. there may be no meaning behind the use, and no intent to insult or hurt anyone, but that does not mean it doesn't hurt.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by FSUZeta
i think that slurs can "slip" out, most often if the person uses them regularly. there may be no meaning behind the use, and no intent to insult or hurt anyone, but that does not mean it doesn't hurt.

But doesn't that make the situation worse?? I mean, if I was with a hispanic friend and "gringos pendejos" "slipped", and they responded by saying "Sorry, it's just a habit", that would affect me more, knowing that's what they say all the time (and probably their actual opinion, if they say it all the time), and it was not just a one-time accident.