Why so much hatred for Alumnae initiates?

[Eaglescout_mom]

Hello, I have been on here for a few months now reading all the alumnae initiation postings and it seems that there is a general theme that many members spew that is just plain snarky and mean towards people who want to be in a sorority/fraternity.
I have been seriously considering doing AI for some time ,and just not for a cute t shirt with letters ,but for the bonding experience sisterhood could offer me way past my college days. I went to a greek school and I partied with Greeks ,and had many greek friends, but I just could not commit if I wanted to graduate and work at the same time.
Because of finances, work, grades,etc..... I felt I missed the one thing I always wanted, a special bond shared by a select few. I'm not at the age to party ,nor do I want to ,but I am of age to impart life lessons and wisdom as an sister/advisor (could do ) and still feel like I am apart of a group socially that comes together because of membership and philanthropy .
I just don't understand why members here slam potential members. I mean seriously is that what your groups taught you?
From what I understand membership does not stop at graduation. There are many who wanted to join ,but couldn't. So this is an avenue that they can bring a wealth of experience as alumnae ,and that groups could possibly benefit from.
I just hate reading the negativity that is hashed around on this topic. You all should embrace interested candidates instead of isolating yourself from them and looking your nose down at them.


Eagle Scout mom!

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Eaglescout_mom

Hello, I have been on here for a few months now reading all the alumnae initiation postings and it seems that there is a general theme that many members spew that is just plain snarky and mean towards people who want to be in a sorority/fraternity.
I have been seriously considering doing AI for some time ,and just not for a cute t shirt with letters ,but for the bonding experience sisterhood could offer me way past my college days. I went to a greek school and I partied with Greeks ,and had many greek friends, but I just could not commit if I wanted to graduate and work at the same time.
Because of finances, work, grades,etc..... I felt I missed the one thing I always wanted, a special bond shared by a select few. I'm not at the age to party ,nor do I want to ,but I am of age to impart life lessons and wisdom as an sister/advisor (could do ) and still feel like I am apart of a group socially that comes together because of membership and philanthropy .
I just don't understand why members here slam potential members. I mean seriously is that what your groups taught you?
From what I understand membership does not stop at graduation. There are many who wanted to join ,but couldn't. So this is an avenue that they can bring a wealth of experience as alumnae ,and that groups could possibly benefit from.
I just hate reading the negativity that is hashed around on this topic. You all should embrace interested candidates instead of isolating yourself from them and looking your nose down at them.


Eagle Scout mom!

There are a lot of alumnae initiates as members here who are a valuable asset to both their organization and this community. That doesn't mean we take kindly to sorority shopping among AI potentials.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I didn't know if I should QFP or WTF this one.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Eaglescout_mom

I just hate reading the negativity that is hashed around on this topic. You all should embrace interested candidates instead of isolating yourself from them and looking your nose down at them.

I'm lane swerving, but it's Friday night . . .

Eaglescout_mom, welcome to Greek Chat. FWIW, I've seen lots of discussions on GC about AIing in NPC sororities, and I have rarely seen anyone look down their noses at AIs. What I have seen is sorority members defend their personal opinions or the positions of their organizations that AI is an honor to be bestowed, not an activity to be sought, however sincere the seeking. I have seen them object to a blanket characterization of how AI works, when in reality it works differently for different sororities. And, to be honest, I've seen many object to the idea of AI as an "oh well, there's always AI" sort of consolation prize for those who didn't pledge in college rather than a significant honor.

A friendly word of advice, sincerely offered: In my experience, opening posts from new GCers who are not Greek themselves that essentially ask "why are you so mean?" and that tell women who in many cases have been members of their sororities for years if not decades how they should conduct sorority business rarely end well.

-- MysticCat (an Eagle Scout)

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I'm lane swerving, but it's Friday night . . .

Eaglescout_mom, welcome to Greek Chat. FWIW, I've seen lots of discussions on GC about AIing in NPC sororities, and I have rarely seen anyone look down their noses at AIs. What I have seen is sorority members defend their personal opinions or the positions of their organizations that AI is an honor to be bestowed, not an activity to be sought, however sincere the seeking. I have seen them object to a blanket characterization of how AI works, when in reality it works differently for different sororities. And, to be honest, I've seen many object to the idea of AI as an "oh well, there's always AI" sort of consolation prize for those who didn't pledge in college rather than a significant honor.

A friendly word of advice, sincerely offered: In my experience, opening posts from new GCers who are not Greek themselves that essentially ask "why are you so mean?" and that tell women who in many cases have been members of their sororities for years if not decades how they should conduct sorority business rarely end well.

-- MysticCat (an Eagle Scout)

This is quite possibly the best lane swerve ever.

[33girl]

There hasn't been an AI post on here for months.

And you're already "apart" of a group.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

A friendly word of advice, sincerely offered: In my experience, opening posts from new GCers who are not Greek themselves that essentially ask "why are you so mean?" and that tell women who in many cases have been members of their sororities for years if not decades how they should conduct sorority business rarely end well.

Are you insinuating that I've been a sorority member for decades?!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There hasn't been an AI post on here for months.

And you're already "apart" of a group.

Yea, I was wondering if I missed one or two along the way. I don't remember a recent ("negative") AI thread...

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by agzg

Are you insinuating that I've been a sorority member for decades?!

You say that like there's something wrong with being a sorority member for decades! (April will mark my 3rd decade)

[DubaiSis]

Grammar cops here: apart means separate from. A part means to be included in. If you are apart of a sorority, you are in fact not a member.

AI is just fine. I think my sorority uses it in a very innovative way. When we colonize a new chapter, we invite all the girls' mothers who are not already affiliated to initiate with their daughters. I've also heard of an NPC sorority sort of seeking out women for AI because of a need for alumnae support for a new chapter in a (relative to their base) remote chapter. But in general AI is reserved for women like one I remember. My chapter initiated the chapter advisor, a non-member graduate student who was really helpful in an era of rebuilding. She didn't seek it out but had become very intertwined with the sorority.

But hey, if you're friends with members of NPC sororities, ask them. Maybe one of them will be willing to go to bat for you.

And finally, what was the point of this? Sometimes it's clear a person is just looking for someone to blow sunshine up your skirt. But you don't like us, so why would you want our approval?

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Eaglescout_mom

Hello, I have been on here for a few months now reading all the alumnae initiation postings and it seems that there is a general theme that many members spew that is just plain snarky and mean towards people who want to be in a sorority/fraternity.
I have been seriously considering doing AI for some time ,and just not for a cute t shirt with letters ,but for the bonding experience sisterhood could offer me way past my college days. I went to a greek school and I partied with Greeks ,and had many greek friends, but I just could not commit if I wanted to graduate and work at the same time.
Because of finances, work, grades,etc..... I felt I missed the one thing I always wanted, a special bond shared by a select few. I'm not at the age to party ,nor do I want to ,but I am of age to impart life lessons and wisdom as an sister/advisor (could do ) and still feel like I am apart of a group socially that comes together because of membership and philanthropy .
I just don't understand why members here slam potential members. I mean seriously is that what your groups taught you?
From what I understand membership does not stop at graduation. There are many who wanted to join ,but couldn't. So this is an avenue that they can bring a wealth of experience as alumnae ,and that groups could possibly benefit from.
I just hate reading the negativity that is hashed around on this topic. You all should embrace interested candidates instead of isolating yourself from them and looking your nose down at them.
Eagle Scout mom!

You're reading through several years' worth of posts. A number of years ago we seemed to have a bunch of potential AIs come here wanting to pad their resume. We did not take kindly to it.
Every group has their own method for doing this.
You must understand, though, and it is NOT a common procedure. You don't just pay your dues and get a badge in return mail.

[KDCat]

You should take a look at community based fraternal organizations like Lions Club or Beta Sigma Phi. AI in an NPC is not common.

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

When we colonize a new chapter, we invite all the girls' mothers who are not already affiliated to initiate with their daughters.

That's cute!

[Sciencewoman]

I was sitting with an Alpha Kappa Alpha and Kappa Alpha Psi at our back to school picnic this week, along with a new faculty member. When the AKA found out that the new faculty member hadn't pledged in college, she literally hopped up and said, "I'm going to get 'pseudonym' to meet you!" and she ran off to find this faculty member who is her soror (and whose office is right by mine). I admit I'm curious to see if anything further transpires.

Which reminds me, I need to get back on the mission with that other faculty member who was wearing the Gamma Phi pin....

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by agzg

Are you insinuating that I've been a sorority member for decades?!

Now, now. I said many of whom have been members for years if not decades. (And I wrote it before I saw your post.)

But, as AGDee says, not that there's anything wrong with that.

— MysticCat (30+ year Sinfonian )