Legacies

MSSTCY1 · #1 08-31-2002, 08:25 PM

I am in a local sorority. We have two legacies rushing us this semester. One is a sister of an active sorority sister, and the other is the sister of a recent alumni. The sister of the alumni is creating a huge controversy among our sisters. This girl has blatently said in front of other rushees that she is already in and has her bid. She also treats all of the active sisters horribly. She ignores them when they speak to her, and rolls her eyes at everything we say. She made it quite clear last year that she did not like the idea of being in a sorority and told us that she would never pledge. While I would like to think that she has changed her mind, I feel like she would only pledge to get the letters and say that she is in a sorority. Our bi-laws say nothing about us having to give bids to legacies and as far as I know it is only a courtesy. What does everyone think.... should she get a bid? And if not, how do we tell her sister?

AOII_LB93 · #2 08-31-2002, 08:46 PM

If this was a "random" rushee saying these things and being this rude, would you be asking the same question? It's not for me to judge whether or not this girl should be in your sorority since I am not a member. Regardless of whether or not she is a legacy, she should be given all courtesy, however when someone, legacy or not acts this way, will your organization benefit from her acceptance into it?

Most national/international sororities are not required (as per my knowledge) to just give a bid to a legacy even if she doesn't mesh well with the chapter as it would cause disharmony and not be in the best interest of the chapter. In my organization we are required to consider it, but if there is a good reason for not offering a bid, then we are not required to do so. If the chapter chooses not to extend the bid, then the relative must be contacted in a timely manner and informed of the decision by a member of our Alum Advisory Committee.

I know this is wordy, but in essence if this woman is not going to be a benefit to your chapter, I don't think that you should be required to bid her.

CutiePie2000 · #3 08-31-2002, 09:07 PM

You should only extend a bid to someone based on their OWN merit, not because they are related to a member.
If you don't want this person for a sister, don't bid her.

This is an excellent excerpt from AOII's magazine, but really it can be applied to ANY sorority....

A legacy should be a qualified potential member in her own right -- grades, activities, accomplishments, and overall compatibiltiy with the collegiate chapter are to be considered. Collegiate members are asked to give special consideration
to legacies during membership selection out of courtesy to the sorority sister to whom she is related.

Special consideration -- What does this mean? This does not imply that we should “bend the rules” or “lower the standards”
in order to issue an invitation to pledge to a legacy. This does not imply that we should hold our legacies to higher standards or
judge them differently than other potential members. In the words of Melanie Doyle, Executive Director of Alpha Omicron Pi,
we should give legacies special attention, our genuine friendliness, our family concern and the love they deserve during the recruitment process.

I hope that this helps you in your situation...

DigitalAngel126 · #4 08-31-2002, 10:32 PM

we had a legacy go through that same scenerio with us last semester... i believe her mom was the alum from our chapter.. anyhow, she made it very clear to us that she was only there because of her mom and that she 'knew she could get in', and even TOLD us of her first two choices (neitherone of them being us)....we were never in the position of having to give her a bid or not, because we knew she was going to go to a different glo.. but had it come down to it, i dont think we wouldve rushed her...

RockChalk · #5 08-31-2002, 10:35 PM

Absolutely do not bid her. No one who is that rude and disrespectful will be an asset to your organization. If the sister asks, just say that you didn't think that she was a good fit for the chapter (because she obviously isn't).

nyrdrms · #6 08-31-2002, 11:44 PM

You should not feel obligated to give this woman a bid. If recruitment is still in progress, try having a sister ask her why she is interested in the first place. If her only reason is that she's a legacy, then she has no genuine interest in joining the organization or in helping in any way. Do not treat her as a legacy, treat her as any other potential (that goes for the other legacy too). Try not to make them feel as though they have no worries about receiving a bid while not discouraging their interest, should they have one. Good luck!

MSSTCY1 · #7 09-01-2002, 01:09 AM

One of our alumni, told her sister tonight that we were not going to give her a bid and she flipped out... like really flippped out... we have had problems with this sister in the past, and I don't know what to do. I hold a very big posistion in the sorority. While I am not presisdent I do have a say in what goes on. I am worried, as are many E-board memebers as to what to do. the alumni in question is very angry with us. All of the responces seem to agree. So HOW do we explain our decision?????

PLEASE HELP!!!

AOIIalum · #8 09-01-2002, 07:43 AM

Is there any way you can meet again with your alumna and explain to her why the chapter has made this decision? Regardless of if we're in a local, national, or international sorority we all have those things we strive to attain as outlined in our rituals. Our beliefs are in our rituals, so use them in your explanation. By drawing upon those, can you explain why the chapter has made the choice it has so she will better understand the decision? She may not want to hear it and may not agree, but hopefully she will understand if approached in this manner.

Quote:

Our bi-laws say nothing about us having to give bids to legacies and as far as I know it is only a courtesy.

Hopefully your chapter does annual bylaws reviews. Please consider addressing this in your next bylaws revision. If it's happened once, it could happen again. With a legacy policy in place for your sorority you hopefully could avoid some of this pain in the future.

Best of luck to you and your sisters. I hope you keep making decisions that are best for you and your sorority's ideals!

Fraternally,
Christin

RockChalk · #9 09-01-2002, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MSSTCY1
One of our alumni, told her sister tonight that we were not going to give her a bid and she flipped out... like really flippped out... we have had problems with this sister in the past, and I don't know what to do. I hold a very big posistion in the sorority. While I am not presisdent I do have a say in what goes on. I am worried, as are many E-board memebers as to what to do. the alumni in question is very angry with us. All of the responces seem to agree. So HOW do we explain our decision?????

PLEASE HELP!!!

I agree with AOPi alum's advice - meet with the alum again and explain why her sister isn't getting a bid. Also point out that since your bylaws don't say anything about bidding legacies, you are under no obligation to give her a bid. Then tell the alum that since her sister has come right out and said that she has no interest in being in a sorority and would never pledge, there's no reason to give her a bid because she would be taking a bid away from somebody who actually wants it. Good luck!

kia123 · #10 09-01-2002, 10:52 AM

Hi there
I totally agree with all the previous posts. In my opinion you should NOT extend this girl a bid if she has even implied the things listed above. In my opinion I would give a legay extra consideration in a situation let's say tehre are two PNM's rushing who are great women, they both seem very interested and impressive..... well if you have quota and can olny take one of these women, you may give a tiny heads up to the legacy.
But..... this does not seem to be the case, why should you take away a spot from a great potential sister to give to this girl??? Tat does not make sense. She will only hurt your sorority in the long run. If her sister is an alumnae she should be somewhat mature and Im sure upset at first, will come around to understand. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other side what would the alumna due????? Ask her that, but I'm sure she will come around. Maybe there is another sorority on campus that her sister will find "good enough" to show some respect too.
Sorry if I seem harsh but just my two cents, a rush(legacy or not) should never be given more consideration than any sister in the sisterhood, local national or regional.

LeslieAGD · #11 09-01-2002, 10:57 AM

I would suggest meeting with the alum and discussing her sister's behavior. I would suggest saying that you have concerns and not coming out and saying "your sister is not getting a bid because..." Wait until Recruitment actually starts before you decide not to bid her. You never know, maybe she's just overconfindent and doesn't understand that she can't behave that way just because she's a legacy. Don't tolerate the PNM's rudeness, but try to give her a "clean slate" and wait until Recruitment to make your decision.

kia123 · #12 09-01-2002, 11:23 AM

Hey AGD
While I agree with some points of your post in that maybe she does not understand, that's understandable,....
But, there is no understanding this girl not talking to the sisters or rolling her eyes, to me that is unforgiveable and seems a little bit deeper than a rushee not understanding she is not guaranteed a bid. But this is just my opinion. In my GLO the minute a PNM rolls her eyes or is "too good" to talk to sisters she would not have my vote from that moment on, Im sorry she should be going out of her way to impress the sisters, not act like she is better than them. I mean even if she does really think she has a bid, what gives her the right and why would she want to treat her new sisters like that??????

aephi alum · #13 09-01-2002, 12:00 PM

I agree with the previous posts... do not bid this girl. You or another exec-level officer should sit down and talk to her sister, the alum, and explain why she's not getting a bid... she's rude, she seems uninterested, etc.

You may also want to think about writing something about legacies into your bylaws. Define who exactly is a legacy, and then define what "preferential" treatment legacies get. State explicitly that legacies are not guaranteed a bid.

Kevin · #14 09-01-2002, 01:22 PM

Alums are not infalliable. Especially when it comes to family.

If someone does not want a bid do not give it to them. I can see potential havoc in the pledge class if you were to place this legacy among your ranks.

Good luck with the whole thing.

texas*princess · #15 09-01-2002, 01:39 PM

I have to agree with most all these posts above. Hootie made excellent points. A legacy should never be a for sure thing. Once upon a time, I was part of a local sorority and the SAME exact thing happened. One of our most recent alumni had her sister rush the sorority and she bascially told all the other PNM's and sisters that she would get a bid. There were sisters that didn't think it was right, (including myself), but sadly when the time came around, she ended up getting a bid anyway. As a pledge (or new member as we call it now) she pretty much continued the same behavior and didn't carry her weight in the organization.. she still told everyone that she would be initiated because she was a legacy. In the end, she did get initated. but the semester after she did get iniated, she dropped from sight and we never saw her again.

Basically moral of the story - you need to do what is best for the entire organization. If she's not going to help with fundraisers, philantrophies and just sit around and look pretty in her "letters" I don't think she would be a great asset to your sorority's chapter. The local I used to belong to learned their lesson from that one case and has since started to view legacies just as the other PNM's and didn't treat them specially. ... I'm basically just rambling now, but you get my point