looking down on legacies

gogreek26 · #1 09-19-2011, 01:05 PM

Will girls within your sorority look down on you because you're a legacy or not like you as much. I'm starting to worry that the ONLY reason i got in my sorority was because I was legacy.

33girl · #2 09-19-2011, 01:15 PM

That's up to you.

If you put nothing into the sorority, make no attempt to make friends and generally are a big bump on a log, no, people won't like you. (Just like any other member.)

If you put everything into it and are a kind and generous person, then yes, people will like you. (Just like any other member.)

There are lots of people who think "I only got in because I [had a high GPA] [am an athlete] [am pretty] [have a brother in the top fraternity] [am a legacy] " - you can go on and on and on. Is it true sometimes? Yes. Do you have to let it define you? No. We had quite a few chapter legacies and with the ones who put everything into it, honestly, I forgot they were legacies. They just were themselves.

DubaiSis · #3 09-19-2011, 02:24 PM

I'm assuming you pledged recently? You have the no unicorns pooping rainbows blues. You expected everyone to love you and every moment to be this amazing, loving, all-embracing experience, and it's not.

It's always possible that you won out over another girl during member selection and there are 1 or 2 members who are bitter. But you absolutely positively wouldn't have been taken just because you're a legacy so don't fret over that. And you're not going to know about that back-room politics, or at least you shouldn't. Girls got kept, girls got cut. That's just how it goes.

Chin up, work at making friends, be as nice and helpful as you can be, and that's all you can do. If you feel like you're being shut out by some people, do talk to your new member educator, the president, your big, someone. If it's just that you were expecting rose petals at your feet every time you walked through the front door, well, that's the no unicorns pooping rainbows blues.

thetalady · #4 09-19-2011, 03:26 PM

Sweetie, you need to GET OVER this whole legacy thing. It is not the "be all" that you seem to think it is. I bet the majority of your chapter probably doesn't even know or remember that you are a legacy, unless you are bringing it up every day like it makes you something more special. Be friendly, go out of your way to get to know your sisters, be the positive girl who volunteers to help when something is needed. Forget the legacy stuff.

ree-Xi · #5 09-19-2011, 04:05 PM

The thing to remember is that THEY CHOSE YOU. They didn't HAVE to. Just keep that in mind. It's a pretty good feeling when somebody - a whole GROUP of people - choose you to be in their inner circle. Enjoy it!

FSUZeta · #6 09-19-2011, 06:33 PM

i think it is normal for legacies to question if they got a bid because they are a legacy, or despite the fact that they are a legacy. Most often a legacy gets a bid because the chapter truly likes her and wants her to be a sister.

every year we read, hear or know about legacies who don't receive a bid from their legacy sorority, so count yourself among the lucky and enjoy it!

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 09-19-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

Sweetie, you need to GET OVER this whole legacy thing. It is not the "be all" that you seem to think it is. I bet the majority of your chapter probably doesn't even know or remember that you are a legacy, unless you are bringing it up every day like it makes you something more special.

Or, even worse, mom/grandma/big sis is constantly hanging out in the TV room!

thetalady · #8 09-19-2011, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Or, even worse, mom/grandma/big sis is constantly hanging out in the TV room!

Hee hee hee OK, something that I had not considered!!! Your mom isn't hanging around the house all the time being a pest, is she?

(OP, I hope you know we are pretty much kidding on this)

AOII Angel · #9 09-19-2011, 09:17 PM

Let it go. In some ways, yes, they took you because you were a legacy. But that's not bad. It's a good thing to want your legacies. I was a legacy, and I know they took me because my sister was in the chapter. I didn't think about it for a second. If anyone thought that I wouldn't have gotten in without my sister there first, well than too bad...I got in!!

Make the most of the opportunity and the sisterhood. They gave you the opportunity to be a sister to your family member who is already a part of their sorority. That is a gift.

amIblue? · #10 09-20-2011, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

Sweetie, you need to GET OVER this whole legacy thing. It is not the "be all" that you seem to think it is. I bet the majority of your chapter probably doesn't even know or remember that you are a legacy, unless you are bringing it up every day like it makes you something more special. Be friendly, go out of your way to get to know your sisters, be the positive girl who volunteers to help when something is needed. Forget the legacy stuff.

This.

You wouldn't believe the number of us on GC who were cut by our legacy chapters. If they didn't want you, they wouldn't have taken you. I understand how you may be having doubts, but sisterhood isn't a just add water and poof it happens. Everything the other posters have said about being friendly and positive is exactly what needs to happen for you to feel at home in your group. Everyone else in your new member class is in the same boat, believe it or not.

BlueOwl · #11 09-20-2011, 07:43 PM

Did YOU pick your sorority just because you are a legacy? Or did you accept a bid because you love the girls there--the philanthropy--their campus involvement..etc??

Most collegiate chapters could fill their entire new member class with just legacies because there are so many legacies that go through recruitment! No, you would have been cut before pref if they did not see you in their house.

Relax and start loving your new sorority! A match was made based on mutual selection!

Congratulations!

33girl · #12 09-20-2011, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueOwl

Most collegiate chapters could fill their entire new member class with just legacies because there are so many legacies that go through recruitment!

Actually, no, most collegiate chapters can't do this, and she said in her previous posts that her school was one where relatively few legacies went through rush.

violetpretty · #13 09-20-2011, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueOwl

Most collegiate chapters could fill their entire new member class with just legacies because there are so many legacies that go through recruitment!

Perhaps that is true of most chapters at your school...

One might get the impression that every school is as competitive as the SEC from reading GC, but there are over 650 schools with one or more NPC chapters, for a total of about 3,100 NPC collegiate chapters. While SEC schools (and the like) are often talked about the most and Greek life is more prominent in certain areas of the country, remember that your school and your chapter are only a small fraction of the NPC world.

emilyrfish · #14 10-09-2011, 12:58 AM

I didn't even know I was a legacy until after I joined my chapter. We ended up choosing each other out of panhel recruitment. If you have a true connection with your chapter, then it doesn't matter.