Child Support: Fairly Administered or Not?

[The Original Ape]

I have a friend that has to work three(3) jobs to pay child support for two children. He is a responsible father that loves his children. He is 26 years old, and has his Bachelor's Degree in Communications. The amount he pays for each child literally eats up his entire check. One of his other checks pay for his auto insurance, the other pays his rent(for an efficiency apt), and food.

I know the intent of the Child Support program is to ensure financial responsibility of parents; but if the method of calculating the monthly allotment is inflexible(does not take into account that parents real[net] income and living expenses, is it fair?

How's that Intensify?

[Ice Cold Kreator]

I would agree that your friend is getting the SHAFT!!!!

A lot of parents do! However, in today's society not only do Brothers get penalized, so do women who don't have custody of their children for one reason or the other!

I don't believe that our system is fair, but I believe that our children do need support.

In many cases, the children get shafted! As a child who depended on my fathers support, and rarely got it (even though his pockets were fat)...it became increasingly more important as time got on...

Some parents don't get penalized enough. In my case, my father didn't pay one red dime for college.

With the bruh your talking about, hopefully he can take solace in knowing that his children are well taken care of...if not...than he should get custody of them...and let the mothers work it out!

06,

Ice Cold Kreator

[This message has been edited by Ice Cold Kreator (edited September 01, 2000).]

[Sexy Mocha]

If he was still with his baby mama wouldn't he have to pay all these expenses anyway? And what about her? Remember, she has to pay rent too, not to mention utility bills which is usually sky high with two kids in the house. I'm sure she has auto insurance to pay for as well. Think about it this way, I'm sure your boy sees his children every chance he gets, but momma is a full time mother and father to them kids All day, everyday What I'm curious about is this.....what would he be doing with the money if child support wasn't eating up his check? He has a place to live, a car, the basic necessities of life....does he realize that when he went out and made two children there wouldn't be that much EXTRA CASH floating around. Sometimes being a parent means you can't do/enjoy the things you want to do or used to do. You can't wear fly clothes, or go out as often because those kids will always be there. As long as they're happy, there should be no complaining.
Now, on the flip side.....(y'all know I'm a gemini, so I always have two perspectives )...if baby mama is sitting at home...or even if she works...and she's not spending a dime of her cash flow on the kids and she just waits around for SUPPORT to pay for everything including her own personal needs...then there's something wrong! I know there are those scandalous women out there who use child support checks to get their hair done, new clothes for themselves, etc. meanwhile, the children get what ever's left. THAT is definitely not kosher! It's child support, not "since he left me, I'm gonna make this n*gga pay" support. So, I can definitely feel your man if he's in a situation like that. Otherwise, I don't know...just pay the child support and stop complaining....it may be a while, but they'll be eighteen eventually. Of course, we all know he still has to keep supporting them financially after that, but it wouldn't be coming directly out of his paycheck and it wouldn't be that much....it shouldn't be much anyway. Well, that's my two cents.

[AKA2D '91]

I figured you would have something to say in response to the brothers, Mocha!!!

But, what I will say is this...If this is a baby momma/baby daddy situation and there was no marriage, then both, the father and the mother should have protected themselves and they would not be in this predicament!


So that now the brother is in this situation...he has to bite the bullet and do whatever needs to be done. Even if that means having 4 or 5 jobs! And the same goes if the shoe were on the other foot!

I don't feel sorry for him (her)! We all make choices in life...

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
If he was still with his baby mama wouldn't he have to pay all these expenses anyway? And what about her? Remember, she has to pay rent too, not to mention utility bills which is usually sky high with two kids in the house. I'm sure she has auto insurance to pay for as well. Think about it this way, I'm sure your boy sees his children every chance he gets, but momma is a full time mother and father to them kids All day, everyday What I'm curious about is this.....what would he be doing with the money if child support wasn't eating up his check? He has a place to live, a car, the basic necessities of life....does he realize that when he went out and made two children there wouldn't be that much EXTRA CASH floating around. Sometimes being a parent means you can't do/enjoy the things you want to do or used to do. You can't wear fly clothes, or go out as often because those kids will always be there. As long as they're happy, there should be no complaining.
Now, on the flip side.....(y'all know I'm a gemini, so I always have two perspectives )...if baby mama is sitting at home...or even if she works...and she's not spending a dime of her cash flow on the kids and she just waits around for SUPPORT to pay for everything including her own personal needs...then there's something wrong! I know there are those scandalous women out there who use child support checks to get their hair done, new clothes for themselves, etc. meanwhile, the children get what ever's left. THAT is definitely not kosher! It's child support, not "since he left me, I'm gonna make this n*gga pay" support. So, I can definitely feel your man if he's in a situation like that. Otherwise, I don't know...just pay the child support and stop complaining....it may be a while, but they'll be eighteen eventually. Of course, we all know he still has to keep supporting them financially after that, but it wouldn't be coming directly out of his paycheck and it wouldn't be that much....it shouldn't be much anyway. Well, that's my two cents.

If he and his former girl lived together, he wouldn't have to pay(as long as the house/apartment was in his name). As I mentioned earlier, he is a good father. Whenever we go play basketball, or pool or whatever, he takes his kids with us and we all have a good time. He used to be one of the best dressers around-until he had his children. The child support agency doesn't guarantee visitation rights;nor does it guarantee that the support money is actually spent on the children. It has no checks and balances system; they just deduct the money from the parents check, cut a check for the custodial parent and mail it to them. My boy's baby mama now is on that sh*t; and because he got into trouble once(assaulted a police officer who abused his rights), he probably wouldn't win custody of his kids. that witch is lame! His only complaint is how unfair the system is. If the intent of the system is to make absentee parents totally responsible when it comes to the children, shouldn't that system be sensitive to the paying parents real income when they determine the monthly payment?

[Sexy Mocha]

Dang Original, I apologize for implying that your boy wasn't living up to his full parental capacity. You didn't give us the full story in your first post. When you break it down like that, I guess it is administered unfairly. I was just thinking about the kids, you know I have a weak spot for children.
However, do you think there's a better way? If not the present system, then what?
for every man out there like your friend...there's about ten that, if the money wasn't taken directly out of their paychecks, could not be trusted to pay the money on their own free will. Do you know how many dead beat dads there are out there? Even with the system...some men will find a way around paying. I actually had a guy tell me once that he'd rather quit his job instead of having the system garnish his paycheck...and that's exactly what the fool did. ( I was like Ooooh! You really showed them!) I feel for your friend, but the system is set up just so the low lives have no choice but to help support their children. It's an unfortunate situation for men like your boy.

[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited September 02, 2000).]

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
Dang Original, I apologize for implying that your boy wasn't living up to his full parental capacity. You didn't give us the full story in your first post. When you break it down like that, I guess it is administered unfairly. I was just thinking about the kids, you know I have a weak spot for children.
However, do you think there's a better way? If not the present system, then what?
for every man out there like your friend...there's about ten that, if the money wasn't taken directly out of their paychecks, could not be trusted to pay the money on their own free will. Do you know how many dead beat dads there are out there? Even with the system...some men will find a way around paying. I actually had a guy tell me once that he'd rather quit his job instead of having the system garnish his paycheck...and that's exactly what the fool did. ( I was like Ooooh! You really showed them!) I feel for your friend, but the system is set up just so the low lives have no choice but to help support their children. It's an unfortunate situation for men like your boy.

[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited September 02, 2000).]

I agree with the idea of garnishing if the parent in question has shown no interest in trying to support the child. If however the parent HAS shown interest and offered to pay the balance of his/her check beyond living expenses(net income), then garnishing is not necessary. Also, robbing Peter to pay Paul does not solve a problem. The intent of the Child Support Agencies should be to provide ALL support necessary for the child-not just financial. By that I mean it should check to see if the custodial parent is actually using the money for the child's benefit-and not his/her own. Secondly; how could the paying parent have quality time with the child if he/she has no place to stay, or not enough room for the child to stay if the child wants to spend a weekend? Presently a four digit number is multiplied against the paying parent's GROSS income. The product is the monthly amount of support the paying parent must pay. The amount ordered INCREASES if the paying parent gets a raise or another job. Now if after deducting that amount from your check you didn't have enough to pay rent or your utilities, what would think about the program then? Would it still be a fair program?

[Professor]

Child Support is an area I work with closely and feel strongly about. Becasue of professional reasons, I won't comment on the board but if individuals want to hit me about this I will respond.

[pearlsNivy]

I work for social services and know of many situations where child support is badly needed and at the same time many situations where the money received is being misused. My advice for your friend, Ape, is that he take it back to court. If he can prove his children are not being well taken care of and/or the support money is not being used to take care of the children, he should take what he knows to a judge. Even if he can't get custody, he may be able to make his CS payments to a third party who will make sure the money is spent on the children.

As bad as your boy's sitiuation is, it could be worse. In my state, if someone comes into apply fo welfare benefits, we must get info on the absent parent and sue for CS. If by some chance a woman gets pregnant and has a child with someone other than her husband, we have to sue both the biological father and the legal father, regardless of whether the husband and wife were together when the child was born. all that matters is that the man and woman were married when the child was born. If paternity has been established and the woman can provide proof, then we only sue the biological father.

I hope something I've said here will help your boy. Update me if you can.

SkeePhi,
pNi

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by pearlsNivy:
I work for social services and know of many situations where child support is badly needed and at the same time many situations where the money received is being misused. My advice for your friend, Ape, is that he take it back to court. If he can prove his children are not being well taken care of and/or the support money is not being used to take care of the children, he should take what he knows to a judge. Even if he can't get custody, he may be able to make his CS payments to a third party who will make sure the money is spent on the children.

As bad as your boy's sitiuation is, it could be worse. In my state, if someone comes into apply fo welfare benefits, we must get info on the absent parent and sue for CS. If by some chance a woman gets pregnant and has a child with someone other than her husband, we have to sue both the biological father and the legal father, regardless of whether the husband and wife were together when the child was born. all that matters is that the man and woman were married when the child was born. If paternity has been established and the woman can provide proof, then we only sue the biological father.

I hope something I've said here will help your boy. Update me if you can.

SkeePhi,
pNi

Thank you very much for that advise! I hope this works for him. Thanks again!

[pearlsNivy]

Anything for my pham!

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by pearlsNivy:
Anything for my pham!

Now that's LOVE!!!!!!!

[pearlsNivy]

Shucks (*blush*), it was nothing!

[pearlsNivy]

Ape,
What ever happened with your boy? I check back to this post occassionally to see if you have posted any update. Let me know something.

pNi

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by pearlsNivy:
Ape,
What ever happened with your boy? I check back to this post occassionally to see if you have posted any update. Let me know something.

pNi

I aint seen him in a bit. I'm 'bout to give 'em a holla this weekend. I'll git back to ya on it. Thanks for carin'.