My (long) Pledging Story at a Tennessee University

[KiwisRugby]

I went through rush this fall with an open mind and had my interests narrowed down to 3 fraternities when the preference nights arrived. There are 8 IFC "national" fraternities at my school. There were 2 days of formal rush and then 2 preference nights. I narrowed my preferences down to the 3 (XYZ) that gave me the strongest impression on the formal nights because of how well I got along with the actives I met and talked to, as well as the ideas they stood for and how the actives talked about them. I attended 3 different preference events for two fraternities (X&Y) and ended up having so much fun at one particular house (X) I lost track of time and missed an event for another fraternity (Z). At the end of the night my heart was set on X and when I received my bid the next morning my hopes were realized. I began pledging and enjoyed every aspect of it, but there was one thing that would end up causing trouble for me down the road.
Money had never kept me from relating to and getting along with people; it was the same with this group of guys. I lived in the dorms and the rest of the pledges lived in new apartments, but it didn't bother me. I drove the oldest car out of all the pledges and actives, but I had to work for what I had and I was proud of it. The dues looked formidable, but with a job they were possible. I learned that it was the pledges responsibility to pay for materials around the house i.e. cleaning supplies and anything that had been forgotten by the actives when we planned our parties and social events. My pledge brothers and I would all chip in for stuff like this so it was never a problem. I didn't mind contributing for the good of their chapter because I hoped to be a part of it someday. So far, so good...until I learned that I was expected to buy illegal drugs for some of the actives. I thought this was just a test and when I found out that they were serious, I was in doubt about everything that had made me want to pledge (X). I talked to my pledgemaster and he said that I didn't have to buy them but the actives were still pressuring me. I was real torn up about it, but I decided to quit almost a month into pledging because it was becoming evident that this wasn't the place for me.
I am thinking about going through spring rush but I have many questions and doubts. Is it possible to pledge to another fraternity the next semester because things don't work out? Would another fraternity even want me or would I be considered as "left-overs"?

[lucgreek]

Since you went through formal rush, I'm honestly not sure what your chances would be.

From your story you said it was the actives pressuring you and you talked to your pledge educator who said you did not have to do any of it. Did you talk with your pledge educator before you dropped and explained they keep pressuring you? Also, what are the guys current feeling towards you? If they are pissed off chances are other fraternities won't want unnecessary drama.

Originally Posted by KiwisRugby

I went through rush this fall with an open mind and had my interests narrowed down to 3 fraternities when the preference nights arrived. There are 8 IFC "national" fraternities at my school. There were 2 days of formal rush and then 2 preference nights. I narrowed my preferences down to the 3 (XYZ) that gave me the strongest impression on the formal nights because of how well I got along with the actives I met and talked to, as well as the ideas they stood for and how the actives talked about them. I attended 3 different preference events for two fraternities (X&Y) and ended up having so much fun at one particular house (X) I lost track of time and missed an event for another fraternity (Z). At the end of the night my heart was set on X and when I received my bid the next morning my hopes were realized. I began pledging and enjoyed every aspect of it, but there was one thing that would end up causing trouble for me down the road.
Money had never kept me from relating to and getting along with people; it was the same with this group of guys. I lived in the dorms and the rest of the pledges lived in new apartments, but it didn't bother me. I drove the oldest car out of all the pledges and actives, but I had to work for what I had and I was proud of it. The dues looked formidable, but with a job they were possible. I learned that it was the pledges responsibility to pay for materials around the house i.e. cleaning supplies and anything that had been forgotten by the actives when we planned our parties and social events. My pledge brothers and I would all chip in for stuff like this so it was never a problem. I didn't mind contributing for the good of their chapter because I hoped to be a part of it someday. So far, so good...until I learned that I was expected to buy illegal drugs for some of the actives. I thought this was just a test and when I found out that they were serious, I was in doubt about everything that had made me want to pledge (X). I talked to my pledgemaster and he said that I didn't have to buy them but the actives were still pressuring me. I was real torn up about it, but I decided to quit almost a month into pledging because it was becoming evident that this wasn't the place for me.
I am thinking about going through spring rush but I have many questions and doubts. Is it possible to pledge to another fraternity the next semester because things don't work out? Would another fraternity even want me or would I be considered as "left-overs"?

[KiwisRugby]

When I talked to him the first time he told me that it wasn't right for them to do that and he would see to it that they quit trying to involve pledges. I found out that some of my former pledge brothers had already gotten drugs for them and some other actives. I didn't want to bring it up directly when I met with him to sign the papers, mainly because I felt like whatever he did wasn't going to keep these guys from being shady. After I quit the guys who wanted drugs were even bigger douchebags towards me, maybe they thought I would snitch them out? A few other actives have told me I should re-pledge in the spring, but I don't want to be associated with a group of people who have to do drugs and involve others.

[lucgreek]

I guarantee if you told your pledge educator this was the reason for you quitting he would have done something more about it. What reason did you give your pledge educator for quitting? This actually matters, because if you gave a different reason for quitting and tell other fraternities the real reason why you quit and your story is different, they won't trust you.

Did you talk to your big brother about this too? I'm sure if you gave them an ultimatum (ex: if they ask me to do this again, I'm dropping) then they probably would have backed off.

And by drugs I'm assuming you mean coke/meth/etc... I'd fully support a pledge of my org telling an active to fuck off if they kept hounding you to go out and buy them coke.


But in your new situation, you're sort of screwed because you didn't address this to your pledge educator as your reason for dropping and now when other fraternities ask about this they'll have 2 conflicting stories and most just don't want to deal with any excess baggage that will come with you.

[KiwisRugby]

The drugs that they wanted were mainly painkillers, coke, and weed. The weed wasn't such a big deal, but they also wanted painkillers and coke because those are harder to get around here, supposedly. I've had really bad experiences with people and those drugs.

The reason I gave my pledgemaster when I left was "financial" and that's what I put down on the form I had to sign; but, I was working to make ends meet so this really wasn't the problem. Only new actives could have big brothers, but I did have other guys I talked to who mainly told me to just tough it out.

There are a few guys in the frat that I am still friends with and I talked to a few friends of mine in other GLOs about it but those are guys that I have a lot of trust in to keep quiet and not spread rumors. I wouldn't want to cause trouble for the guys in fraternity (x) who aren't bayheads or Greek life in general on campus.

[lucgreek]

Only actives get big brothers? Something sounds fishy. I don't know what fraternity this is but I don't know of any where you don't have a big brother while pledging. And honestly, I would have put that you were pressured to buy coke on the forms because that indicates a serious problem with the chapter if they have people doing coke and are actively getting pledges to obtain it for them.

You made the right choice in terminating your affiliation. Honestly if you care about that chapter still I'd discretely contact nationals because if actives are pressuring pledges to get coke, there is a very serious problem that might end up getting the chapter closed. This fraternity sounds like it's on a downward spiral into oblivion.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by lucgreek

Only actives get big brothers? Something sounds fishy. I don't know what fraternity this is but I don't know of any where you don't have a big brother while pledging. And honestly, I would have put that you were pressured to buy coke on the forms because that indicates a serious problem with the chapter if they have people doing coke and are actively getting pledges to obtain it for them.

You made the right choice in terminating your affiliation. Honestly if you care about that chapter still I'd discretely contact nationals because if actives are pressuring pledges to get coke, there is a very serious problem that might end up getting the chapter closed. This fraternity sounds like it's on a downward spiral into oblivion.

I'd be more worried about the chapter if they couldn't get coke/pot/pills.

Who the fuck are their friends?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

I'd be more worried about the chapter if they couldn't get coke/pot/pills.

LOL, but yeah. If they need to rely on the pledges to supply them, this is one lame ass fraternity.