Worst Wedding Ever (vent)

[aephi alum]

I have been honored, over the past few years, to attend many of my friends' weddings. The vast majority of these have been enjoyable affairs, with a beautiful ceremony followed by a fun reception that gave us the chance to celebrate with the bride and groom and other guests.

This past weekend, I attended the Worst. Wedding. Ever. In. The. History. Of. Weddings. Actually, the ceremony was beautiful, and everything leading up to it was nice, but things went rapidly downhill afterwards.

The couple are Orthodox Jews, so everything was very, well, Orthodox. The men were sent into one room to pray with the groom; the women went into another room to greet the bride. I had the chance to catch up with some of my friends. Soda and fruit/veggie plates were set out for us. During the ceremony, men and women were seated separately, but there was no divider, so we could see everything that was going on. Like I said, the ceremony was beautiful.

Then came the reception from hell.......

"Cocktail" hour: Consisted of leftover soda and veggie and fruit plates from before the ceremony. All the guests were crowded into the lobby, which was not large enough, nor was it air conditioned.

Seating: The bride's mother did the seating chart, and did not consult with the bride, groom, or groom's family. The result was a more-or-less random seating chart which had one of our friends placed at a table where everyone else was of our parents' generation and she knew no one.

Photographer: Couldn't be bothered to stand up from where he was sitting when the bride and groom were to enter the hall. "I'll get them from here." Also, he didn't even take basic care of his equipment. At one point he slung his camera carelessly over his shoulder - if I hadn't ducked, he would have brained me with it. My husband nearly got clocked over the head too.

Band: Far too loud, and the concept of a key was completely foreign to them. The accordion playing bore a close resemblence to a burlap sack full of cats being hit with sticks.

Alcohol: None except for one bottle per table (10 people per table) of wine that was utter and complete plonk. It's fine to choose to have no alcohol at your wedding, or no alcohol other than wine, but if you're going to serve wine, you should be able to tell the difference between the wine and paint thinner.

Food: As Orthodox Jews, this couple obviously wanted kosher food. Unfortunately, there are only a few kosher caterers in Boston, and they are booked out years in advance. So they called a kosher Chinese restaurant in the area. So dinner was Chinese. And greasy disgusting Chinese, at that. And what is more...

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They ran out of food with fully one-quarter of the guests unfed. They had to go back to the restaurant and get more food, which took a full half-hour. And when the announcer said "those of you who haven't eaten yet, the food has arrived" guess who pushed his way to the front of the buffet line -- the @$$hole photographer! NO! VENDORS EAT LAST!!

While we're on the subject of food, the cake was our old friend -- SHEET CAKE.

We left early, and we were far from the first to leave.

I almost wish I weren't too much of a lady to tell this couple exactly what I thought of their reception.

Well... the important thing is that they are married...

[SAEalumnus]

Originally posted by aephi alum
Band: Far too loud, and the concept of a key was completely foreign to them. The accordion playing bore a close resemblence to a burlap sack full of cats being hit with sticks.

ROFLMFAO!!!!

That description just about had me falling out of my chair laughing! It's too bad about the... um... non-standard reception. Hopefully the couple's marriage will turn out to be more successful than the reception was. Best of luck to them!

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by aephi alum
And what is more...

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They ran out of food with fully one-quarter of the guests unfed. They had to go back to the restaurant and get more food, which took a full half-hour.

While we're on the subject of food, the cake was our old friend -- SHEET CAKE.

Isn't there a rule of thumb about how much food to get for your guests? Like, 50% more than you think you'll need?

Semi-related, but a hijack nonetheless...
I realize that a lot of people want to get married in a specific place for whatever reason (or just to impress the future in-laws), but can't afford the catering packages, and as a result don't get enough food for everyone. No one is going to eat just one deviled egg, okay? If it's that big of an issue...maybe it would just be smarter to have your reception in a place where you can actually afford to have your guests eat more than one mini-quiche.

But, you're right--at least they're married now!

[winneythepooh7]

WHOA. That does sound pretty bad. I am sure the bride and groom were quite embarassed so you did good by remaining classy and not speaking your true feelings Thanks for sharing the story though, it was funny to read about.

[James]

Seems Crass and Cheap. I think I agree with Munch, have the event at a place you can afford to feed people.

Query: Were people at the recpetion talking about it?

[SSS1365]

Wow. I try not to complain or expect too much when I go to a wedding, because having been a bride I know what it's like to have to plan everything and hope that your guests enjoy themselves... but your story takes the cake! I've never heard of anything so, er, cheap! Yes, they definitely should have made sure there was enough food for everyone! And the seating??? OMG, I freaking obsessed over the seating for my wedding... I can't believe that the bride in this case left it all up to someone else! Oh well... at least you can laugh about it and just think... if their photographer was that bad you can bet he was cheap and they are going to get what they paid for!

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
Isn't there a rule of thumb about how much food to get for your guests? Like, 50% more than you think you'll need?

That;s the rule we use for Hy-Vee Catering.

And always (ALWAYS!!) send SASE RSVP cards with invitations so that you have a greater idea of how many guests will be there- my sister and brother in-law told the caterers they would have 400 guests at their reception... I still have bags upon bags of BBQ Pork in my freezer that was left over because there were only 150 guests at the reception, there were 400 people that were sent invitations.

[33girl]

Whoa, I thought the "we drove the whole @#$%ing way up to the state line for crackers and punch" wedding was bad. This totally tops it!!

Wow. I was all geared up to post about the rather trashy wedding I went to this weekend, but that takes the (sheet)cake.

Wedding I went to this weekend: NO bar/beverages/etc. (we got a plastic cup and pitcher of water) at our seats... decent food but served on chinet-type plates... some people had to sit in the bar (not in service of course) because there wasn't enough room for everyone in the actual hall... no air conditioning so we had doors open and fruit flies buzzing all around us.

I think the thing that bothered me most though was that the ceremony was at 2pm on the beach. Reception immediately after right there in a little hall type building. But they expected everyone to stay until 11pm!!! We ate at 4pm and by 5:30 we were ready to be done and gone. We ended up sneaking out by 6.

I'm relieved that our RSVPs are coming in way under what we were possibly going to get. We sent out for 150 people, expecting 125 but hoping for about 100. Both of our families live out of state so it was sort of an all or nothing deal with the extended fam and thankfully most aren't coming We'll probably end up with just under 100.... which will mean we hopefully won't end up in aephialum's "friend"s shoes

[BSP_Nicole]

although I don't think it'll match the sheetcake wedding...

This wedding was almost two years ago. The bride and groom were both college friends (she was a bridesmaid and he an usher in my wedding, and I had dated him earlier in college for a brief period of time (and long before they met)). Anyhow, they decided to get married on October 31st. That's right, Halloween. Guests were asked to show up in costume. So far, not bad, right?

The wedding and reception took place at his uncle's farm. Wedding outside, reception in a set-up tent. It had been raining for three days, and the ground was nothing but mud. And it was FREEZING cold.

The wedding went well, but the reception... The heaters in the tent hardly made a dent in heating the place. The caterer arrived late with the food. Instead of a DJ or band, they hooked up a CD player and changed the CDs themselves (oh, but there was no room to dance anyways).

Lots of other little things were bad too (too many to get into). Like I said earlier, not as bad as the sheetcake wedding, but definately the worst one I've been to.

[valkyrie]

Aephi alum, I'm sorry for your pain, but that's some funny isht.

I don't understand why people just don't realize that if they can't throw a decent wedding where their guests are likely to enjoy themselves, they don't just elope or invite like 20 people. Seriously, nobody would be upset to miss out on weddings like this one.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by aephi alum

Band: Far too loud, and the concept of a key was completely foreign to them. The accordion playing bore a close resemblence to a burlap sack full of cats being hit with sticks.

Also ROTFL!!!!!

This brought back memories of:

Wedding 1: The band cancelled at the last minute, so a One Man Band took its place. As in, one man with cymbals on his knees, a guitar in one hand, a keyboard in the other, and his foot playing the drums!

Wedding 2: The bride decided to save the money on a band, and instead, brought a RADIO!!! The astonishment in the voice of the disc jockey announcing that, "I just heard that I've been the entertainment at the wedding of the former Miss X and Mr. Y, so I'm sending this next song out to the happy couple!" had to be heard to fully comprehend.


But, oh, AEPhiAlum, I feel your pain!

[Jill1228]

Oh hayle no!

You need to submit this story to
www.etiquettehell.com (FYI if you wanna get a laugh about trashy folx and weddings from hell, this is the site)

The wedding can be beautiful, the bride can look smashing but if the food is bad or there are issues with the food folks WILL talk about you like a dog!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

That is one bad wedding disaster story.

I didn't attend this wedding. I know someone who was married during a terrible storm. Her guests were stuck in their cars due to flooding. The facility provided an SUV to transport the guests to the hall. It took about two hours to get all of the guests from the parking area to the hall. Many of the guests didn't show up because they couldn't get there. The room was half empty at the ceremony and reception. It's one of those things that the couple laughs about now, but it was bad at the time.

[CASIGKAP]

LMAO!!!! However, I have a great one.

At my best friends wedding, the DJ (who was not the contracted DJ by the way. Just some high school stand-in) was informed that the father/daughter song was supposed to be "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. Instead, as they pair up to dance, I nearly fell out of my seat in shock when we heard "Let's Get It On"
I tried not to laugh b/c I could see my friend wanted to cry & her mom yelling at the DJ who stubbornly refused to change it. Not a good or pretty scenario.