How much should they let slide?

SoCalGirl · #1 06-10-2000, 02:47 AM

This is kind of a sensitive topic just because it should have never happened.

We recently had a "get together" where there was a lot of no-no's going on. i.e. underage drinking And who walks in on the middle of it...an alumnae.
Does she throw a fit, regulate, send us home? Nope, she took a picture amd grabbed a beer.
I was horrified.(sp?) Since I'll be an alum very soon I've been avoiding these situations and letting the girls know that once I graduate I don't want to even hear about this stuff.
It's not that I don't think it should happen at all; I just don't want anything, like a revoked charter, to occur and ruin everyone's fun.
It seems to me like our advisors are letting us get away and at times even encouraging us to do more and more reckless things. It's like they've all decided that they want us to be more of a "stereotypical" sorority. This frightens me because one of the reasons I was drawn to this chapter is because it was so non-stereotypical.
I don't know what to do about this. Any advice?

p.s. I've heard of some of the fraternities are having similar problems. But with them it seems to be the younger alums being irresponsible.

BFulton · #2 06-10-2000, 09:49 AM

Are you in a position to talk privately to the alumna or alum chapter about this situation? If so, that is probably worth considering. Maybe they no longer remember the sorority's rules about such activities?? A brain freeze?

The alumnae need to take responsibility for upholding BOTH sorority and legal regulations, in my opinion. If they let something slide that could jeopardize the chapter's charter (for example, what if someone had left that gathering after drinking and wound up in an accident), then they are letting the ENTIRE sorority down. Every sister - active or alum - would lose if the chapter loses the charter. (This also, of course, applies to the behavior of the active chapter.... but your question was about alumni.)

PandaBear · #3 06-10-2000, 09:49 AM

This is not just a problem with your organization - I know it is with mine, and I am sure with many others. This was part of the problem with the collegians messing up Ritual. They think the few of us who are always around are all about fun and games, yet when we call them on something they pout! The collegians I work with know not to mention (EVER) underage drinking, drinking at mixers (our campus is "dry"), and ANY kind of drugs. If they do any of the above then I feel responsible to take the matter to the board. Otherwise we WILL lose our charter. I've seen it happen to another NPC group on campus. If I were you, I would remind my sisters to cool it when ANY alum is around. When you become an alum, I assume you have an alum club or chapter, then discuss it at the meeting. Not the particular incident (no need for name calling), but rather to say that your constitution states.....and that you as alums have a responsibility to maintain that when you are at a function. Plus, what if something had happened to one of the collegians that night? That alum could have been held responsible by nationals for not taking action! (Also happened with the NPC who lost their charter). Anyway - sorry this is so long, but I'm right there with you. I am so glad to hear that you are taking your future role as an alum responsibly. I hope others can learn from you! Good Luck!

SoCalGirl · #4 06-10-2000, 01:59 PM

Thanks for responding.

I do plan on talking to someone about this but I'm not sure which person it should be to. The woman who attended the "get together" is an advisor who's past actions never gave me the impression that she'd do this.
Should I only talk to the alumnae that I'm concerned about? If I work to far up the chain of command the outlook on these type of things is at the other end of the spectrum.

I know that our chapter should have never even been doing what we were doing. BUT the girls do it all the time on thier own. So I kind of like the idea that there are some sober people around to keep an eye on them. PLUS we have the added problem of if the girls really want to drink, it's less than a 20 minute drive to $3 all you can drink clubs in Tijuana. Once again, I'd rather them be close by and not dealing with the Federales. At least when they're on this side of the border they stay in one house all night.

mwedzi · #5 07-30-2000, 08:28 AM

Fulton, I really agree with you. Alumnae have a great responsibility to the sorority. I remember as an undergrad some of the members being a little resentful when an alumnae would put us in check, feeling it was their turn to run the chapter in their way. I felt that way, too, and still do feel that the primary responsibility in running the chapter should be of the undergrad actives. Of course. However, most of us knew our alumnae were right most of the time.

BFulton · #6 07-31-2000, 08:46 AM

mwedzi,

Thanks! I do believe the everyday operations and decisions/planning are the responsibility of the actives, but alumnae definitely have a responsibility as well!

Corbin Dallas · #7 07-31-2000, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SoCalGirl:
We recently had a "get together" where there was a lot of no-no's going on. i.e. underage drinking And who walks in on the middle of it...an alumnae.
Does she throw a fit, regulate, send us home? Nope, she took a picture amd grabbed a beer.
I was horrified.(sp?) Since I'll be an alum very soon I've been avoiding these situations and letting the girls know that once I graduate I don't want to even hear about this stuff.

So as an undergrad, you don't care about breaking these rules, but when you cross from undergrad to alumnae, you're going to suddenly crack down if you hear about it? If I'm off in this assumption, let me know. Personally, I think if you don't have a problem with something now, you shouldn't have a problem with it just because you graduate. Now if you do have a problem as an undergrad with underage drinking and whatnot, you should say something to the girls that are doing it, your EC, your advisor, or whoever. If you don't think alumni should let something slide, you shouldn't let it slide either.

------------------
Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.

mwedzi · #8 07-31-2000, 11:49 AM

Corbin,

The thing is, as undergraduates, people often get lost in the having fun part. they are still young, and of course that doesn't make it right. Just trying to explain.

Corbin Dallas · #9 08-01-2000, 12:03 AM

I totally understand that. All I'm saying is that if I drink all 4 years of college, only one of which will I be of age, I'm not going to come back the next year and tell those under 21 they shouldn't be drinking. I feel that if someone is responsible with it, as long as they are 18, they should be able to drink. There are people who are 40 and aren't responsible enough though! I guess since our house is on a private campus, then we are sort of under an umbrella and can get away with a lot more.

------------------
Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.