sorority life as a mom?

StetsonsMommy92 · #1 08-19-2013, 10:54 PM

I pledged in the fall of 2011 to the Delta Delta chapter of ADPi. However i had to return hoke from college due to medical reasons. Upon doing so they made me an alum but i got a paper stating if i went back to a university that had an ADPi chapter I had to join. Well upon coming home i got pregnant and now have a 10 month old son. My goal is to return back to Fayetteville next fall and id love nothing more to return to my sisters. My question is do the bylaws allow mothers tobe active members? This is very near n dear to my heart and i never really got to experience the sorority life, bond, and experiences as in having my own littlw and being on the opposite side of the recruitment.

WCsweet<3 · #2 08-20-2013, 12:23 AM

This is a much better question for your nationals and chapter president.

Also please think of the time commitment of being a student, a sorority member and a mother.

amIblue? · #3 08-20-2013, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

This is a much better question for your nationals and chapter president.

Also please think of the time commitment of being a student, a sorority member and a mother.

This. Just also keep in mind that you won't get this time back with your child. There are few do overs in parenting. Further, a member of your sorority can correct me, but it is often the case that if you reaffiliate and it becomes impossible to fulfill your obligations, then alumna status may not be available to you if you remain in school. As things stand right now, you are an alumna for the rest of your life. Just be sure you understand everything. Things happen, especially when you are a parent.

carnation · #4 08-20-2013, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StetsonsMommy92

I pledged in the fall of 2011 to the Delta Delta chapter of ADPi. However i had to return hoke from college due to medical reasons. *Upon doing so they made me an alum but i got a paper stating if i went back to a university that had an ADPi chapter I had to join.* Well upon coming home i got pregnant and now have a 10 month old son. My goal is to return back to Fayetteville next fall and id love nothing more to return to my sisters. My question is do the bylaws allow mothers tobe active members? This is very near n dear to my heart and i never really got to experience the sorority life, bond, and experiences as in having my own littlw and being on the opposite side of the recruitment.

I have never heard of a national office issuing a piece of paper that forced any random chapter to affiliate a woman they don't even know. I can't see that ending well.

amIblue? · #5 08-20-2013, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

I have never heard of a national office issuing a piece of paper that forced any random chapter to affiliate a woman they don't even know. I can't see that ending well.

The chapter she mentioned is at Arkansas, and she talked about going back to Fayetteville, so my guess is same chapter.

carnation · #6 08-20-2013, 07:05 AM

I know--but I was looking at the part that said if she went back to a school with an ADPi chapter, she had to join. ??????

Katmandu · #7 08-20-2013, 08:05 AM

You might have a wonderful experience getting involved in your alumni group, especially in a college town. Lots of other moms. i have a hard time believing you would be "forced" to give up alum status and re affiliate, but check your nationals.

Sometimes we cannot recapture every missed experience, and in attempting to do so, miss out on other equally precious experiences. Yes, you missed out on a sorority "little". Frankly, so what? You have a living, breathing "little" to treasure. Your life has changed. Don't miss living it because you are chasing after something else.

amIblue? · #8 08-20-2013, 08:14 AM

I completely misread that "had to join" part. I kind of doubt that's the case. For example, an initiated member leaves under similar circumstances, but doesn't go back to school until she's 30. I doubt any NPC would make her reactivate. To the OP, check with your chapter or the advisers.

AOII Angel · #9 08-20-2013, 09:10 AM

I'll put in another perspective...if you went back as an active, collegiate member, you'd be expected to fully participate. They wouldn't give you a pass because you had a child. That means you'd have to show up to everything that a regular member does after going to school all day THEN take care of your child. At a more laid back chapter outside the SEC I could see this working, but it would take an independently wealthy Superwoman to make it work at that kind of chapter.

honeychile · #10 08-20-2013, 01:45 PM

Sister, you need to talk to someone in EO first. Explain your situation, especially the part forcing you to affiliate with any ADPi chapter. That is NOT part of the Alpha Delta Pi agenda. Could you be misreading it, that you may NOT affiliate with any other sorority? Or, if you returned to UofA, you needed to affiliate? Be ready to fax a copy of this agreement that you signed.

Then, talk to your Advisory Board. They're usually good people who will help you do what's best for you. Afterwards, you need to talk to your chapter's Executive Board.

It's not just your life anymore. You need to think of what your life looks like, returning to college after a lot of life changes - especially as a mother. What will happen to Stetson when you decide to go to a mixer? Or during Recruitment Week?

Most of all, you will always be a sister of Alpha Delta Pi! Please let us know what you've decided to do, and what part of ADPi you'll be involved in. Oh, and give our best to your future Black Diamond Beau!

StetsonsMommy92 · #11 08-21-2013, 11:03 PM

First of all i just want to thank each and everyone of you for your resonses, opinions, and giving me more insights. While i had thought of most of them I hadnt thought of all of them at all. And i relooked at the paper today along with my parents and it honestly does say, "to continue your ditues as a member of the Alpha Delta Pi Sorority, one must pledge to the chapter of the University of her choice if the Univerisity has such chapter." And no one ive spoke to in my family that had affiliated wiyh sororities has heard of such. But I am going to see what I can do. Granted even thiugh i wisg i could do the thibgs i missed out on, Im sure ill be much more successful staying on the alumni side and joining an alum group. But again, thank you everyone for the positive words if encouragement. If you guys have any more pointers please let me know!!(:

amIblue? · #12 08-22-2013, 06:18 AM

Good luck to you! I hope things work out for you.

KillarneyRose · #13 08-22-2013, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katmandu

You might have a wonderful experience getting involved in your alumni group, especially in a college town. Lots of other moms. i have a hard time believing you would be "forced" to give up alum status and re affiliate, but check your nationals.

Sometimes we cannot recapture every missed experience, and in attempting to do so, miss out on other equally precious experiences. Yes, you missed out on a sorority "little". Frankly, so what? You have a living, breathing "little" to treasure. Your life has changed. Don't miss living it because you are chasing after something else.

Excellent point, Katmandu; I agree 100%

ASUADPi · #14 08-22-2013, 03:03 PM

I advised a small chapter. The chapter had quite a few mom's in it. The campus wasn't your "traditional" campus, there were a lot of older students. One of the sisters had a 3 year old and the father lived in the same town, so she could participate in sorority functions. Another one had a baby while in school and it truly effected her. Her grades slipped, she wasn't able to attend social functions due to her grades, she also struggled to fulfill her obligations as a member (attending meetings, philanthropy events, etc...). Another sister ended up pregnant and I believe she decided to leave the chapter. (I'm not sure if she was given alumnae status or if she had to resign her membership as I was no longer an advisor when this happened).

I can tell you from watching, it was incredibly tough for these women to do school, motherhood, and sorority and I advised a chapter with less than 50 women on a campus of less than 3000. I can't imagine how it would be at Arkansas.

If you really want to rejoin your chapter, you need to follow Honeychile's advice. You need to call EO and talk to them. You then need to contact the chapter advisor of the chapter you wish to join, you then need to talk to the chapter executive board.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

azureblue · #15 08-22-2013, 03:57 PM

[QUOTE=StetsonsMommy92;2232516]I pledged in the fall of 2011 to the Delta Delta chapter of ADPi. However i had to return home from college due to medical reasons. Upon doing so they made me an alum but i got a paper stating if i went back to a university that had an ADPi chapter I had to join.

And i relooked at the paper today along with my parents and it honestly does say, "to continue your ditues as a member of the Alpha Delta Pi Sorority, one must pledge to the chapter of the University of her choice if the Univerisity has such chapter." [QUOTE]

Hello!

This form states that if you go to another school that has an ADPi chapter, that you have the option to fill out paperwork to try to affiliate with the chapter on campus. Some women who transfer fill out affiliation paperwork and others do not when they transfer schools.

Since you are considering returning to your home chapter's campus, you will need to speak with them directly about options. Contact the President and ask for the Chapter Advisor's contact information. The collegians probably won't be able to answer your questions, so you need to go directly to an advisor.