guy troubles....help! (also in sigkap forum)

[alphaiota]

ok, so there is this guy, john, who i've known for a month or so. we met at the club we both go to on the weekend. so until last week it was the casual he knows my friend who knows a friend type thing. we talked, but nothing major.
so last sat. we were chatting and then later on in the night i asked him if he'd take me for a ride on his motorcycle. he said yes, but in a bit. i said no problem and just kept drinking. well i was completely plastered and ended up puking before i went for the ride. while we were on the ride, i was flirting with him hardcore. and in return he asked if he could see my chest. well, i'm not so proud to say it, but i did let him. i won't give details, but yeah, use your imagination here. now i know he's a huge flirt and a bit of a hoe, but for some odd reason i'm still attracted to him. and i know that we'd never really have anything serious. oh and did i mention he's the deputy chief of police around here and a bit older than me. yeah.
anyhow, i called him on monday at work and just left a message not really expecting a call back. well he called back within 10 minutes. we flirted more and he promised me another ride and that he'd give me a call. also, we both said we weren't going to be going to the club this weekend.
so i called him on wed. as well, but that was just to tell him my friend and i were going to be in his area if he wanted to come out for a drink. never got a call back. didn't worry about it.
so yesterday (sat.) i ended up going to the club and who rides up with his girlfriend on the back of the bike? oh yeah, john.
i play it cool and not go talk to him since i know he was a bit surprised to see me there and basically felt caught. well my friend, some other friends and i end up going over and saying hi to him and everyone he was sitting with. we chatted for a few minutes and then i went inside the club. no biggy. well, we ended up sitting by the window that looks out over the patio where he was sitting. i caught his eye and motioned for him to come in and talk to me for a sec. he didn't. he wouldn't come in. when he finally did come in, it was with his gf and still wouldn't come talk to me.
well by this point i'm pissed off. didn't have a problem that he was there with his gf. i had a problem with the fact he wouldn't come talk to me. i wanted to tell him it was no big deal and to give me a call and we'd get together another time. but no. wouldn't come talk to me so i couldn't tell him that.
so i grabbed my friends keys and went to the car right out front and waited for her to come out. i was fuming. he and his girlfriend were getting ready to leave. i just sat back until he brought out the breathalizer test. i just wanted to see what my level was so i asked if he would test me. so he tested me, i was at .02. so my friend and i left, she took me back to my car. i was still very very pissed. so i drove back over to the club and as i was walking in, he and his gf were walking out. i got his attention and told him to call me b/c i needed to talk to him. he agreed and left. i proceeded to go in and pound a few more drinks and left. tried to act like i wasn't coming back for him. don't know if it worked.
so now i'm regretting how i acted and the fact that i let it get to me. what are your thoughts? guys can ring in too. i need some serious help. i went momentarily psycho and i'm so sorry.

shelley j
sigma k