Could You Wait?

delph998 · #1 06-18-2002, 08:15 PM

I was a little reluctant to start this thread, but my question is for the brothas out there. Let's think hypothetically for one second...

let's say there was someone that you really liked. She had the brains, body, everything. You really wanted to get with this girl. And she told you that she wanted to be in a relationship with you as well BUT she did not want to have sexual relations because she's practicing celibacy.

COULD YOU WAIT?????

The reason why I'm asking this is because a lot of my sisterfriends are beginning to abstain from sex these days. I happen to be one of those young ladies. I just wanna know how or if you could handle this situation. Can't wait to hear the replies...

ClassyLady · #2 06-18-2002, 09:40 PM

Well, I am right along there with you Delph. I have not had sex for almost two years. I just wasn't feelin' giving myself to a man that wasn't seriously involved with me. Since I gave it up, I have found a wonderful man who I am very in love with. We have been together for almost two years and we have yet to do the deed. I asked him if he would have a problem with waiting and he said no. He wants what's best for me and he doesn't want to pressure me into anything. From the very beginning, he told me that he just wanted to be with me and if waiting was part of the deal then that was fine with him.

TLAW · #3 06-18-2002, 10:42 PM

It can be done... I did.

Professor · #4 06-19-2002, 08:38 AM

We have soemwhat touched on this before. My reply is that women that offer their goods early in the relationship is not a woman that I can seriously consider for a long term relationship. I can't speak for all brothers but I respect a woman that says she is interested in more than sex and wants to wait until a relationship is established.

I will add more later.

delph998 · #5 06-19-2002, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ClassyLady
Well, I am right along there with you Delph. I have not had sex for almost two years. I just wasn't feelin' giving myself to a man that wasn't seriously involved with me. Since I gave it up, I have found a wonderful man who I am very in love with. We have been together for almost two years and we have yet to do the deed. I asked him if he would have a problem with waiting and he said no. He wants what's best for me and he doesn't want to pressure me into anything. From the very beginning, he told me that he just wanted to be with me and if waiting was part of the deal then that was fine with him.

Classy, it's definitely a blessing that you've been in a relationship for two years-SEX FREE!!! I pray that God blesses me with someone that will be understanding of this decision that I've made. Thanks to those that have responded. I can't wait to see what other people have to say...

sphinxpoet · #6 06-20-2002, 02:13 PM

I believe in that in fact I have been in that position in the past and it is always worth it. I support any sister or brother that is like that!
The Sphinxpoet

Swamp Thang · #7 06-20-2002, 04:51 PM

Each individual has there own things they want in their relationship. I personally want a monogomous sexual relationship. Therefore, I can't give her what she's looking for in a relationship (not totally) nor can she give me all that I want in the relationship. Since we don't put people in situations that will lead to them doing some things we don't want to do, the best thing (if it was myself and the lady who wants to stay non-sexual) would be to just remain friends and look elsewhere for the relationship person who wants 'the same thing out of the relationship that we do'.

delph998 · #8 06-20-2002, 05:04 PM

WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE Y'ALL?! THEY DEFINITELY DON'T LIVE IN MINNESOTA!!! THAT'S GREAT CONTINUE TO BE THAT WAY!!! I LOVE IT!

Steeltrap · #9 06-20-2002, 05:20 PM

I would hope that the man would wait, especially if it is developing into a serious, committed relationship that leads to marriage or long-term cohabitation.

Marriage is preferable -- I am quite conservative when it comes to sexual matters, having been raised by parents who were married 47 years prior to my father's death.

I've not had sex in a while, myself. Right now, I'm too bloody old to have sex for sex's sake. Besides, that's not how I was raised.

ClassyLady · #10 06-22-2002, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by delph998
WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE Y'ALL?! THEY DEFINITELY DON'T LIVE IN MINNESOTA!!! THAT'S GREAT CONTINUE TO BE THAT WAY!!! I LOVE IT!

My cousin and his wife moved to Minnesota about four years ago. She has told me about the way men treat women out there. She wasn't even talking about relationship-wise, she was speaking generally. If she's right, then I wish you tons of luck!!!

librasoul22 · #11 06-25-2002, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
We have soemwhat touched on this before. My reply is that women that offer their goods early in the relationship is not a woman that I can seriously consider for a long term relationship. I can't speak for all brothers but I respect a woman that says she is interested in more than sex and wants to wait until a relationship is established.

I will add more later.

MUHAHAHAHAH!!! Whew...between this post and the booty-cutting thread I just do not know which is more comic relief!

delph998 · #12 06-26-2002, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ClassyLady

My cousin and his wife moved to Minnesota about four years ago. She has told me about the way men treat women out there. She wasn't even talking about relationship-wise, she was speaking generally. If she's right, then I wish you tons of luck!!!

ClassyLady and GCers,

It's absolutely ridiculous how the men are in Minnesota. It's so bad that when I go to First Fridays, I make sure that I have a dance partner coming because otherwise, I know that I'll be dancing in a circle with my girls the entire night! Now tell me how terrible is that?!

I really think that Minnesota has a negative impact on a lot of the black people who move up here. They change and adapt to the ways of a lof of these other Minnesotans and it's awful. I could go on and on about it, but I choose not to. PRAY FOR A SISTA!

ladygreek · #13 06-26-2002, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by delph998

ClassyLady and GCers,

It's absolutely ridiculous how the men are in Minnesota. It's so bad that when I go to First Fridays, I make sure that I have a dance partner coming because otherwise, I know that I'll be dancing in a circle with my girls the entire night! Now tell me how terrible is that?!

I really think that Minnesota has a negative impact on a lot of the black people who move up here. They change and adapt to the ways of a lof of these other Minnesotans and it's awful. I could go on and on about it, but I choose not to. PRAY FOR A SISTA!

I feel ya, soror!

Dexter · #14 06-27-2002, 01:40 PM

I would like to say that I could wait, but let me be honest I GOT NEEDS!!! It's really easy to sit here and say that anyone would wait for there true love but it's not always the case. I could never look at a women that I desire and be in a relationship whereas she doesn't want to share herself with me. It would seem that most of you that are holding out are waiting for a commitment. It's more of a TRUST issue. If you are truly in love with someone and have dedicated your ENTIRE self to him, I cannot undertand you not wanting to share your most intimate and precious part of your love with him. (barring a medical situation) By doing that it seems that YOU are not fully commited to that relationship both emotionally and physically.

Just something to think about.

delph998 · #15 06-28-2002, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dexter
I would like to say that I could wait, but let me be honest I GOT NEEDS!!! It's really easy to sit here and say that anyone would wait for there true love but it's not always the case. I could never look at a women that I desire and be in a relationship whereas she doesn't want to share herself with me. It would seem that most of you that are holding out are waiting for a commitment. It's more of a TRUST issue. If you are truly in love with someone and have dedicated your ENTIRE self to him, I cannot undertand you not wanting to share your most intimate and precious part of your love with him. (barring a medical situation) By doing that it seems that YOU are not fully commited to that relationship both emotionally and physically.

Just something to think about.

Dexter, I appreciate your honesty. My reason for wanting to be celibate has nothing to do with trust. Understand, I would love to totally commit myself to the right man, however, if I did I would be fornicatin and I don't want to go down that path any more. So Dexter, what if the woman was practicing celibacy for spiritual reasons, would you be able to wait then?