Men, Sex, Relationship Maintenance

[cashmoney]

Lately I've been noticing that women have been complaining about Men, Sex and their Relationships. So I figured I'd start a thread about all three and maybe I could help some of you patch things up or get an understanding about it all.


So here goes:


When it comes to men, women have to understand that a man is a man. A man is as faithfull as his options. Thats how faithfull a man is, no more and no less. Women hear these stories of other men saying " I would never do something like cheating on my wife/GF no matter what!" Well, I'm letting you all know...the men that say that.....nobody else is trying to phuck them! I mean think about it, the men that say that are the unattractive men. No 20 year old girl wants to give Trent Lott or Donald Rumsfeld a blow job! I don't give a phuck, you wont never hear Tom Daschle say "Man, I wish the whoes would back up off me! I wish they'd back the phuck up off me!" Its damn near impossible for a man to turn down sex. Its HARRRDDD!!! I mean, we could stop chasing it...but even that requires some rehab. We start chasing and next thing we know we done pulled a hamstring. We can't run that fast.

Now, its easy for women to turn down sex. Its easy for you all. It aint no thing.I hear women all the time say " I can turn it down, why can't you? "I do it all the time." And why is it easy for women? Its because every woman out there, ever since she was 13...every guy you've met has been trying to phuck ya. Women are offered dick every day!!! Every woman out there gets offered dick at least 3 times a week...some are even offered 3 times a day! Every time a mans being nice to you, all he's doing is offering dick. Thats all it is. A man walks up to you " Uhhh, Uhhh, can I get that for you? How'bout some dick?" "Uhhh, Uhhh, can I help you with that? Do you need some dick?" Nobody offers us shit. With men, we got to fend for ourselves. We can't believe it when we get an offer. We start thinking, " Damn, this our lucky day!"

Now, the men that cheat out there....most of that shit is their womans fault. Women know their man, women know their man better than he knows himself. Women know what kind of men they have...they know if they've got that crazy man that needs a blow job all the time. Ladies, sometimes you've got to save your man from himself. You know what happens when he doesnt get his "medicine". He's your man! You should be the first one in line to suck his dick! You should already be down there waiting. Tell one of the other whoes to tickle his ass or something....play with his balls or something.

Now about realtionships; They are easy to get in to and hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because its hard to keep up the lie. You can't get nobody being you, initially. You got to lie to get somebody. You can't get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet someone for the first time, you're not meeting them...you're meeting their represenitive! Think about it, whos the biggest liers? Men or Women? Its like this, men lie the most and women tell the biggest lies. Men lie ALL the time. We lie so much its damn near a language for us. To call a man out for lying is like playing a retarded kid basketball and calling him on double dribble. You gotta let some shit slide. Men lie all the time, all the time. A Man's lie is like " Yea, I was at steve's house. I promise." A womans lie is like " Its your baby!" And believe me, most men have heard that one. Women are the biggest liers. Think about it, they got the visual lie....Woman wearing heels, she aint that tall! She's got on makeup, her face don't look like that. She's got weave, her hair aint that long. She'll have a wonder bra on, her titties aint that big. Most of the time every thing about them is a lie, and they expect men to tell the truth about everything. When men lie, we live lies. Thats why we're crazy. Every now and then we catch ourselves living a lie. We create a whole lying world around us. For instances, almost every man is hiding some porno in his house. Every man has a pornography stash in his house, not an illegal amount..but just enough to get him by. And when we hide pronography we go all out. It aint behind the frig or under the bed...we become batman when its time to hide some porno. You'll hit the light switch and the whole bookshelf with slide away, you'll go down two flights of stairs into your porno celler. But women always find the porno...they dont find it in the porno hiding place...they find it in the DVD player. And guys are like, " Damn, how can I be so dumb to let her find it?" I'll tell you why...because when we're jerking off...we aint in our right state of mind. Our brains are all cloudy and violent. What exactly happens is, one day your girl left the place early. Had the whole place to yourself. So a guy thinks, "Hey, let me me get a jerk before work." So the guys in the house getting a good jerk on, the type thats nobody aint home jerk...the one where the vaseline is out and you're looking at your dick saying "Scream motherfucker, cause aint nobody gonna hear ya!" And right then thats where the relationship is in trouble. If you cant share what you're like, you're in trouble. Whatever you're in to, you're woman has got to be in to as well. If you're a born again christian, you're woman has to be a born again christian. If you're a crack head, your woman has to be a crackhead too or the shit wont work. You can't be like " where you going? I'm going to church. What are you doin? Hitting the bong." Whats gonna happen? You're gonna stop talking. All guys have been in bed while talking dirty one night to their woman and we've had that instance where we done went too far. Girl is sitting there saying "phuck me, phuck me, phuck me, harder, harder, phuck me nasty." Then the guys like "Get it Whoe!" Girls like, "Who the hell you callin a whoe? Who the PHUCK are you callin a Whoe?" "Untie me, now!!" I mean, I'm no expert or anything...but guys, if you're gonna talk dirty to your woman...you need to say things with authority. You can get your woman to do any nasty little thing you want if you say it like a man. Just make a little eye contact and put a little bass in your voice and she will do that schit. She wants to do that shit. She's dying to do that shit. Men, your woman is nastier than you ever imagined. But you gotta come correct, anything you mumble aint getting done. You can't be in bed all unsure..."uhhh, excuse me, ehhh, uhhh, excuse me ehhh, mam, excuse me ehhh, I have a request ehhh, can you lick my balls ehhh." She's gonna be like "Huh? WTF? Lick your own damn balls!" If you say it right you'll be in there. After that you'll have dry balls. You need to say it with authority! Confidence always wins. Do you guys realize there are women in 2004 that still dont give head? 2004! Whenever I met a woman that doesnt give head I look at her like a Beta Max. I'm like "They still make you?" And when it comes to head there are 3 types of women: A.) women that don't give head, BYE!!! Leave!!! See Ya!! B.) Women that give ya just enough head to shut you up. I've met many of them, they give ya a little lick and are like "You ok?" I hate those type! And then there's the type that love nothing better than to suck a good penis. You women make the world a safer place to live! I love those women! Its like they think there's an antecdote in it or something, like she's about to get some robitussin from it.

And I'm right, relationships are easy to get in to and hard to maintain. Why? Because at some point you just stop talking. You know, you come home and just start nodding..." Hey, whats up?" Why do you stop talking? Because at some point you've heard everything that person has had to say. And it makes you sick to your stomach. You know what they're gonna say before it even come out of their mouth. Sometimes you just wanna stab them in the neck with a pencil. They're like, " Uhhh remember that time..." You're like " Yea I remember that time!!!" " I ever tell you about that time..." Yea you've told me about that time!!! Stop telling me the same shit over and over again! Go get kidnapped so you'll have some new shit to tell me about!!!" Fellas, you gotta talk to your woman. You've gotta talk to your woman. Thats womens biggest complaint..."You dont talk, you don't talk, you need to talk to me more, lets talk." Women love to talk. If they had talking in the olympics, a man wouldn't stand a chance. But what you need to realize is, women dont want you to talk, talk. They want you to listen, listen. All a woman wants you to do is to ask her the correct questions that will allow her to run her mouth. You set her up, she'll knock it down. Men, if you want your woman to be happy...all you have to do is ask her how her day went. Why? because "How was your day" is a 45 minute conversation for a woman. And as a man, you dont really gotta talk...you just gotta act like you're talking...like " U-huh, get out of here, no way, thats fucked up, I don't belive it, you dont say, get out of here, I told you that bitch was crazy." You've gotta throw in, "I told you that bitch was crazy". You know why? because every woman has another woman at her job that she can't stand. And women always exxagerrate stuff, they try to turn it in to some dynasty shit..."She's trying to destroy me", "what are you talking about, you're a beer tub girl at a club. She get breast implants or something?" And women, they're the exact opposite. You ladies need to know when NOT to talk. You guys ever notice how no guy comes home straight from work or school? A man gets off work and he's got to go somewhere. he's got to drink something, he's got to smoke something, he's got to watch the game, he's got to hang with his boys, he's got to do something thats gonna prepare him for all the talking when he gets home. Ladies, its not that you talk too much, its just you talk to much when they walk in the door. Just let him get situated, he doesnt need to hear everything right away. As soon as he takes one step in..."Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." At least let him get the other foot in the door and get something to eat, let him get something to drink, let him take a shit!!!!


Feel free to ask anyquestion if you need some help.

Cash

[decadence]

I read whole post. Good read. Lots made me too.

[cashmoney]

I'm telling you....some people just don't know the members of the opposite sex. Thats why relationships go sauer.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by cashmoney

Now, its easy for women to turn down sex. Its easy for you all. It aint no thing.I hear women all the time say " I can turn it down, why can't you? "I do it all the time." And why is it easy for women? Its because every woman out there, ever since she was 13...every guy you've met has been trying to phuck ya. Women are offered dick every day!!! Every woman out there gets offered dick at least 3 times a week...some are even offered 3 times a day! Every time a mans being nice to you, all he's doing is offering dick. Thats all it is. A man walks up to you " Uhhh, Uhhh, can I get that for you? How'bout some dick?" "Uhhh, Uhhh, can I help you with that? Do you need some dick?" Nobody offers us shit. With men, we got to fend for ourselves. We can't believe it when we get an offer. We start thinking, " Damn, this our lucky day!"

um hon, what kind of men and women do you come across in a given day? that statement 'Every woman out there gets offered dick at least 3 times a week...some are even offered 3 times a day! Every time a mans being nice to you, all he's doing is offering dick. ' is a bad one. every guy that is being nice is not offering sex. to say something like that is not even fair. now i admit, you did have some good points in your post. but that one statement just bothered me.

[wishinhopin]

My compliments to Chris Rock for coming up with all that shit, and you for posting it. Definitely cheered me up for the day

[cashmoney]

I thought it was hilarious...shit made me laugh so hard.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by smiley21
um hon, what kind of men and women do you come across in a given day? that statement 'Every woman out there gets offered dick at least 3 times a week...some are even offered 3 times a day! Every time a mans being nice to you, all he's doing is offering dick. ' is a bad one. every guy that is being nice is not offering sex. to say something like that is not even fair. now i admit, you did have some good points in your post. but that one statement just bothered me.

Adrian....you should know i dont talk like that, but i figured everyone needed a laugh today....go watch bigger and blacker, it so funny.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by cashmoney
Adrian....you should know i dont talk like that, but i figured everyone needed a laugh today....go watch bigger and blacker, it so funny.

well i am sorry that i missed it. i knew that a thought that long couldnt come from you
sorry to jump on you.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by smiley21
well i am sorry that i missed it. i knew that a thought that long couldnt come from you
sorry to jump on you.

my thoughts are a little less ghettofied.....but hey, they're just as funny.


How've you been?

[smiley21]

Originally posted by cashmoney
my thoughts are a little less ghettofied.....but hey, they're just as funny.


How've you been?

i have been okay. i miss you. i havent seen you in awhile.

[cashmoney]

I've been around. Graduating in a month.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by cashmoney
I've been around. Graduating in a month.

cool!! i am in the second half of my 6 year college career

[XOMichelle]

Chris Rock is funny. :-) I really like the part about women turning down dick. ha ha ha!

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Chris Rock is funny. :-) I really like the part about women turning down dick. ha ha ha!

Its all true, in a way.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by smiley21
cool!! i am in the second half of my 6 year college career

Don't sweat it, I spent 6 myself.