No School Is Too Small for The Justice League

[saxywalrus]

No School Is Too Small for The Justice League!!!
Join mild-mannered saxywalrus as she fights through rush at the Hall of Justice in Spring of 2011.

Backstory:
Saxywalrus left her home of Krypton to come to Hall of Justice, a small and religiously affiliated school somewhere where it snows too much and about 30% of the students are Greek. She had received blessings in her crib that made her "beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, stronger than Hercules, and swifter than Mercury." Just kidding. But saxywalrus had always known that she would go Greek. Both her mother and father were strong advocates of the Greek system and remained friends with their sisters and brothers for life, and saxywalrus couldn’t wait to rush and find her own partners in crimefighting.

Hall of Justice has a deferred recruitment and seven sororities. About 100 future superwomen signed up for formal recruitment the same spring that saxywalrus found a device that enabled her to become an intergalactic fighter of crime. Although certain sororities are more competitive, recs are almost unheard of and most people who rush are given a bid to join some part of the League. The sororities at HoJ are:
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman
Wonder Woman
Flash
Aquaman

Martian Manhunter

Much like the actual Justice League, nobody really knows too much about Martian Manhunter. All of the sororities on campus are NPC sororities minus this one, a multicultural sorority which does not participate in formal recruitment and just flew into to HoJ a few years ago and is struggling to build up a presence.

Regrettably, the Justice League at the Hall of Justice does not have houses, but each sorority occupies a wing of a certain dorm and each sorority has a fairly large chapter room on the first floor of said dorm.

Rounds were as follows:
Round 1: Welcome to Recruitment: Visit all 6
Round 2: Philanthropy Night: Visit all 6, choose 4
Round 3: Skit Night: Visit up to 4, choose 2
Round 4: Preference Night: Visit up to 2, pref

Tune in next post as mild-mannered saxywalrus begins her journey!

[Senusret I]

A girl's recruitment with a boy's sensibilities. Love it. Hurry.

[Tulip86]

Awesomeness.

[BraveMaroon]

Hilarious. Gotta love a PNM with a sense of humor. Bring the funny!

[agzg]

I'm not really one for recruitment stories anymore, but I might tune in for superheroes.

[saxywalrus]

Round 1: Welcome to Recruitment
We first joined our hero in Round 1, a casual round-robin welcome round with no cuts after it. However, our hero was already doing battle with a bamboozling quagmire. See, her schedule for the day was supposed to look like this:
Wonder Woman
Flash
Aquaman
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman

In actuality, it looked like this:

BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!
BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!
Aquaman
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman

By “BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!” saxywalrus naturally meant “attend a poorly scheduled concert band rehearsal.” Clearly, the director, Lex Luthor,was using this mandatory rehearsal to enslave saxywalrus, prevent her from becoming a superhero, and thus make her unable to save the rest of the Earth, which would lead to Luthor’s domination of the universe. Or maybe just a great performance at an upcoming music convention. One of the two.

The following conversation with saxywalrus’s Recruitment Guide (Rho Gamma) occurred the night before (although perhaps not with the same exact wording):

Saxywalrus: Sooooo I have to miss the first third of recruitment tomorrow for a mandatory band rehearsal. Should I just like totally discount those two sororities RIGHT NOW? Should I lose all hope? Should I start panicking? Because I’m panicking. In case you didn’t notice. Suffering Sappho, damn the Legion of Doom!
RG: Fear not, dear saxywalrus! There are plenty of people who miss even a full day of recruitment and still get placed. You’ll be fine!
Saxywalrus: Really? Well in that case I’ll see you at 11:00.
RG: Yes really. I’ll see you then.
Saxywalrus: 11:00 it is! Fare thee well!

When saxywalrus arrived the next day precisely at 11, the rest of her group began filing out and writing in their journals. It was absolutely silent, and saxywalrus dreaded her fate. She stood bravely silent as the Justice League’s chants filled the hall, and upon a barrage of knocking from the RGs the door flung open to reveal---

Holy girliness, Batman! There was a whole room of women in matching T-shirts, sweeping in to meet the PNMs with a cheery “Hi,________! I’m _______!” There was water with fruit in it, a napkin that shared the sorority’s colors, and so much chattering! Although the instructions had said jeans and a nice top, there were some PNMs who were wearing sundresses and four inch heels! (Which actually was quite puzzling, considering the fact that it was January…) Could saxywalrus, who was more of an action figure girl than a Barbie girl, battle the girly?

There was only one way to find out.

Wonder Woman: Did not visit.

Flash: Did not visit.

Aquaman: Saxywalrus hadn’t really known what to expect from reruitment and was a little thrown off for this visit. The girls seemed really nice and interested in what saxywalrus had to say.

Superman: This visit was much better than Aquaman. The girls were fun and bubbly, and although saxywalrus was trying her best to put reputations aside for recruitment, this chapter is a top-rated one on campus.

Green Lantern: Um, not so much. The girls in this room were definitely a little bit too nice. It was kind of disconcerting. But they did seem like great girls and like they had a lot of fun with each other.

Batman: These girls were also nice (naïve and mild-mannered saxywalrus failed to realize at this point that ALL of them would seem nice if they were any good at recruiting) and on top of that seemed really smart and like they really had it together. These were classy ladies.

Because she knew she skipped two sororities, saxywalrus minimized her judgments and maximized her observations. The day was over far too soon and saxywalrus retreated to her hideout to reflect on a great first day and prepare for the second one.

[FSUZeta]

this is so much fun to read! please keep going!!

[Monarca7]

pretty awesome!

[saxywalrus]

Round 2: Philanthropy Night
Saxywalrus returned to the Hall of Justice the following day, determined and vowing that in brightest day and in blackest night no evil should escape her sight. She also vowed to have a great day of recruitment, now that she’d gotten used to the matching t-shirts and girly drinks.

Her schedule today was as follows:
Wonder Woman
Flash
Aquaman
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman
And off she went.

Wonder Woman: This sorority had a lot of very unique girls in it. There definitely wasn’t a “type”, but it seemed like their unique powers came together to form a formidable team capable of battling the most terrible of villains. The rusher who saxywalrus started off with was a little bit awkward, but the craft was really neat and it was something to talk about. Overall, everyone seemed smart and had great senses of humor, and saxywalrus definitely understood why this chapter was very highly regarded on campus. This was definitely the favorite coming into recruitment and today proved that in saxywalrus’s mind it was still on top.

Actual Conversation that Occurred
Rusher: So what are you involved in around campus?
Saxywalrus: Well, I’m in the concert band.
Rusher: Cool! What do you play?
Saxywalrus: I just switched to the bari sax. It comes past my hip when I stand it up next to me. Soooo basically it’s less like an instrument and more like a small child.
Rusher: *laughs* And how do you like it?
Saxywalrus: Well, it can be a drag having to double the tuba part most of the time. On the plus side, the bari can definitely double as a battering ram should the need occur.
Rusher: *laughs some more* Well then. Remind me not to barricade myself in the music building when you’re around.

Flash: These girls were nice girls and very sincere, but they were a little bit touchy-feely for saxywalrus. She felt a little bit awkward around them but on the plus side they were very into sisterhood, and could definitely provide the camaraderie needed to fight crime. Saxywalrus just didn’t quite feel like she fit with them. She really liked their philanthropy, though!

Actual Conversation that Occurred
Rusher: So what are you involved in around campus?
Saxywalrus: Well, I’m in the concert band.
Rusher: Cool! What do you play?
Saxywalrus: I just switched to the bari sax. It comes past my hip when I stand it up next to me. Soooo basically it’s less like an instrument and more like a small child.
Rusher: That’s so great. Here at Flash we really enjoy music and singing and dancing with each other as a sisterhood. Sisterhood is very important to us and it shows through music, whether singing ritual songs or just impromptu dance parties in the hallway. I’m so glad that you play an instrument.


Aquaman: These girls were nice and really got along with each other well. It seemed like they definitely enjoyed spending time together, which appealed to saxywalrus. However, her sense of humor did not provide as much of a KAPOW! as she’d hoped, and they did not spend time discussing Aquaman’s own philanthropy but instead showed a slideshow that contained pictures of them supporting the other philanthropies on campus, which seemed rather odd. Still, saxywalrus could see herself here and hoped to come back the next round.

Actual Conversation that Occurred
VP-Philanthropy: This is a picture of us at the ______’s Philanthropy karaoke night! This is a picture of us at _________’s charity ________ tournament. Oh my goodness, this is us at semiformal. And this is a picture of us going ice skating!
Rusher: We just love being together as sisters, no matter what we do. So what do you do around campus?
Saxywalrus: Well, I’m in the concert band.
Rusher: Cool! What do you play?
Saxywalrus: I just switched to the bari sax. It comes past my hip when I stand it up next to me. Soooo basically it’s less like an instrument and more like a small child.
Rusher: Uh. That’s nice. So…what’s your major?
Saxywalrus: I’m a double-major in SCIENCE and LANGUAGE, with a minor in HUMANITIES FIELD.
Rusher: Wow. You must be, like, really smart. I wish I was that smart.

Superman: Almost every single one of these girls was gorgeous. As saxywalrus had seen before, these girls were very bubbly and energetic and seemed excited about rush. They seemed like they joked around a lot as sisters, which appealed to the somewhat silly saxywalrus. They had an awesome philanthropy video for a cause that was very close to saxywalrus’s heart which had really helped out a close friend in a dark time full of many villains. This was another favorite. They also did a really cool chant.

Actual Conversation that Occurred
Saxywalrus: Man, those arm motions on the chant were awesome!
Rusher: Thanks.
Saxywalrus: It must take some serious coordination to avoid smacking into someone else.
Rusher: Yeah, we practiced a lot before recruitment. But I definitely punched Jimmy Olsen in the face on accident when I was first learning it.
Jimmy Olsen: (Turning around from the table with the drinks) Yeah you did, ya jerk.
Rusher: *sarcastically* Thankfully, she’s very forgiving.

Green Lantern: The previous day’s sentiment of “too nice” definitely rang true again. These girls didn’t seem very willing to express their personalities, which disappointed saxywalrus because one cannot fight crime and be a superhero without an awesome identity and superhero alias. In addition, saxywalrus found that the bumping was rather infrequent and that she was leading the conversation rather than the rusher. Which would have been fine if she hadn’t felt so awkward. Nevertheless, she donned the costume of one was pretending to be enthusiastic. And although she was trying to ignore it and keep an open mind, Green Lantern is a smaller chapter that struggles with recruitment and doesn’t have a very good reputation on campus. On the other hand, they have the most philanthropy hours despite being the smallest chapter and their national philanthropy is really impressive.

Actual Conversation that Occurred
*awkward silence*
Saxywalrus: So… what did you do over winter break?
Rusher: Oh. I ran a marathon.
Saxywalrus: Really? That’s SO COOL! I’ve always liked running but I can’t imagine having the dedication to go through training for a marathon! Do you run marathons a lot?
Rusher: This was my first one. I did it with my dad.
Saxywalrus: That’s so awesome! Congratulations! So do you think you’d try another one?
Rusher: Idunno. It was fun, I guess.
*awkward silence*
Saxywalrus: So…tell me more about living in the sorority dorm.
Rusher: It’s cool.
Saxywalrus: What do you like about it?
Rusher: I like living with my sisters.
Saxywalrus: Why?
Rusher: It’s fun.
Saxywalrus: *slightly exasperated* So what’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened on your floor?
Rusher: Well we’re currently in a pantsing fight. You know, where a girl is walking down the hallway and someone pulls her pants down. It’s pretty funny.
Saxywalrus: *deer in headlights look* *forced smile* That’s…really…hilarious.

Batman: These girls definitely put a lot of emphasis on schoolwork and had a presentation by their scholarship chair, reinforcing saxywalrus’s initial opinion of the girls as being very smart. This chapter always has the highest GPA on campus, which could come in handy in case Brainiac decided to try and restore Bryak to power again. Again, saxywalrus really felt that these girls were put together. Although their philanthropy definitely wasn’t the favorite that saxywalrus saw in the Justice League today, it definitely showed that a lot of effort and hard work went into supporting said philanthropy. Batman was definitely in the top two or three.

Actual Conversation that Occurred
Rusher: So what’s your major?
Saxywalrus: I’m a double-major in SCIENCE and LANGUAGE, with a minor in HUMANITIES FIELD.
Rusher: That’s so cool! I speak a little LANGUAGE, although it would’ve come in handy to know a bit more when I studied abroad in COUNTRY last semester.
Saxywalrus: Get out! I definitely want to do that program but I don’t know if I would have had the courage to do it if I didn’t speak LANGUAGE. Was it hard?
Rusher: Well all of the classes are in English but yeah, I really missed English. But my boyfriend was there with me and he made it a little easier for me to deal with it. But when I visited London with him I was like “Ahh! I missed this language!”
Saxywalrus: *smile* So did you travel a lot?
Rusher: Yeah. I visited a lot of amazing places with…that person I’m not supposed to mention. Oops.

Again, saxywalrus had an amazing time at the Hall of Justice. When the RG gave her the form, her choices were easy:
1. Wonder Woman
1. Batman
1. Superman
1. Aquaman
2. Flash
3. Green Lantern

And with a WHOOSH she retreated back to the Fortress of Solitude, anxiously anticipating the third round and the cuts that accompanied it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by saxywalrus

Rusher: That’s so great. Here at Flash we really enjoy music and singing and dancing with each other as a sisterhood. Sisterhood is very important to us and it shows through music, whether singing ritual songs or just impromptu dance parties in the hallway. I’m so glad that you play an instrument.

OMG the overly gung ho sister. Yipes. These kind of chicks are scary.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by saxywalrus

Rusher: Well we’re currently in a pantsing fight. You know, where a girl is walking down the hallway and someone pulls her pants down. It’s pretty funny.
Saxywalrus: *deer in headlights look* *forced smile* That’s…really…hilarious.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Tulip86]

OMG
Best. Recruitmentstory. Ever.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by 33girl

OMG the overly gung ho sister. Yipes. These kind of chicks are scary.

More like "overly rehearsed" rather than overly gung-ho. Every chapter wants to tie what a PNM does back to the sorority, but sometimes it sounds a little forced. I guess it came out before the sister thought about how weird that sounded.

[saxywalrus]

Round 3: Skit Night
Our hero Saxywalrus emerged from the Batmobile ready for Round 3. She went to the Hall of Justice and upon arrival was handed a schedule, which said:
Wonder Woman
No Event
Flash
Green Lantern

By Odin’s beard! #2, #3, and #4 were all gone! Saxywalrus felt as though she’d been clobbered with a kryptonite baseball bat. She took a gander around her table and nearly everyone looked delighted. She checked with her friend Lois Lane and roommate Robin and found that they had both gotten full schedules with all of their top choices. Although Saxywalrus was pleased that Wonder Woman was still on her list, she decided to have a chat with her Rho Gamma, the Girl Wonder, just so she wouldn’t be nervous and screw things up at Wonder Woman, because with a great and powerful first choice comes the great responsibility of not totally screwing it up. That said, she was determined to enjoy Flash and Green Lantern as well.

Wonder Woman: The skit was pretty awesome, and all of the sisters were really into it. The skit took a lot of popular songs and gave them new words, a la Weird Al (minus the geekiness and plus a lot of glitter and puffy paint.) Despite the fact that Saxywalrus had felt comfortable there the day before, today she was so worried about messing things up that she felt like she’d been attacked with a case of verbal Poison Ivy: she had an uncomfortable itch to say the perfect thing. Unfortunately, the itch to speak was sometimes a little too strong and similar to a typical comic book Saxywalrus felt like she may have been a bit cheesy. Still, she really liked the girls and really wanted to be a part of their sisterhood.

Actual Conversation that Occurred:
Saxywalrus: Man, that dance looked great! It seemed like everyone can move. Do you have any girls in your sorority who flat out can’t dance at all?
Rusher: Yeah. No worries, the dancing is optional. But there are always a few sisters who do want to dance in the skit and have trouble learning the moves. But that’s what body roll lessons at 2am in the hallway are for.
Saxywalrus: Sounds like fun. I wouldn’t mind body roll lessons. My dancing isn’t dancing so much as “creatively pretending to have a seizure.”
Rusher: *laughs*
*awkward silence*
Rusher: So how’s your dorm?
Saxywalrus: Oh. I don’t like it. Nobody really keeps their doors open. It’s weird. The people on the floor are weird. It smells weird. No. I’m weird. I need to stop saying weird things. And saying the word “weird” so much. Think, saxy, think. Make a funny joke. Say something interesting. Stop with the verbal diarrhea.
*awkward silence*
Saxywalrus: *hurriedly* These girls on my floor have a fight club! They’re both in the ROTC and they “spar” until they have bruises and they do it at weird times in the night and I hear thumps a lot and I’m seriously worried they’re going to start making soap!
Rusher: *giggles* Well that’s definitely weird.
Saxywalrus: Well sh*t.

Break: Saxywalrus used this time to gloomily reflect on how bizarre she acted in the Wonder Woman room. Come to think of it, she’d only talked to two people there, and one of them was a girl from her church who’d known her forever. If Wonder Woman really wanted her, why would they have had Saxywalrus spend almost all of her time there talking to someone who already knew her? But before she had time to fully contemplate her destiny, it was time for the next room.

Flash: Saxywalrus was pleasantly surprised. The skit was pretty funny and the weird overemphasis on sisterhood was much less present today. It truly seemed like these girls could have fun. She also met Iris West (codenamed after the Flash’s girlfriend in the comics), a girl who was also majoring in LANGUAGE and double-majoring in OTHER SCIENCE. Saxywalrus and Iris West really hit it off, although Iris West was definitely a bit long-winded.

Actually SERIOUS Conversation that Occurred
Saxywalrus: I’m having kind of a rough day of recruitment today. Do you have any advice?
Iris West: To be honest, the whole process kind of sucks. I mean, you can’t really get to know someone in a couple hours and especially when they’re under a lot of stress.
Saxywalrus: Agreed.
Iris West: Just know that if the sorority you want doesn’t choose you, it’s not because you’re a bad person. Plenty of great girls slip through the cracks. In case you couldn’t tell from my attitude, my freshman rush didn’t go the way I’d planned.
Saxywalrus: Aww.
Iris West: But know that you have other options like informal rush. I rushed informally and couldn’t have been happier when I received my bid to Flash. It’s not how I imagined it going but I wouldn’t trade my sisters for the world.
Saxywalrus: That’s really great.
Iris West: But I really hope things work out your way. And no RG is gonna tell you this, but if there’s a chapter you’re not fond of, be honest about it. The best thing you can be at rush is yourself.

Wise words, Miss West.

Green Lantern: Their skit was cute and Saxywalrus liked the theme, but she was convinced more than ever before that these girls weren’t right for her. They were too nice and the way that they expressed their sisterhood was definitely a little bit strange. Aaaand once again, I felt like I was leading the conversation.

Actual Conversation That Occurred
Saxywalrus: Great skit. I thought that the theme was clever.
Rusher 1: Thanks.
Rusher 2: So do you have any questions about the sorority?
Saxywalrus: Um. Oh! How do you guys express your sisterhood?
Rusher 1: Sisterhood is really important to me. None of the other sororities wanted me but I’m so glad Green Lantern made me feel welcome.
Saxywalrus: I’m happy for you. So Rusher 2 mentioned yesterday that you guys sometimes pull pranks on each other involving pantsing. Any other crazy shenanigans?
Rusher 1: Well one time all of the showers on our wing were being used. So we stole four girls’ towels while they were showering. We took pictures of the towels to prove we stole them. And then we put them back. Because we didn’t want them to get mad.
Saxywalrus: *deer in headlights look* That…must’ve been a good one.

All in all, it was a disappointing day. Saxywalrus began to worry that she may not become a superhero after all. There was the random Fight Club outburst at Wonder Woman and then there was the fact that all the other girls in the room at Flash kept having their rusher get bumped repeatedly whereas Saxywalrus and Iris West appeared to be stuck on the cosmic treadmill that continually looped them together. And there was no way Saxywalrus wanted to be a Green Lantern, what with their confusing concept of pranks and oddly prevalent nudity.

When RG the Girl Wonder brought her the ranking sheet, the choices were easy:
1. Wonder Woman
1. Flash
2. Green Lantern
And with that, saxywalrus retreated to the Batcave in silence.

[FSUZeta]

i am nominating this thread for the best rush thread ever!