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Welcome to our newest member, LoganX7 |
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08-01-2001, 06:35 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 18
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My Thoughts On Fraternity Guys...
I think we all learn some valuable lessons during our time in chapter. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from this past year has to do with fraternity guys. They are undateable!!! Now don't get me wrong...they are fun to hang out with, cute, smart, nice, etc but things just don't seem to work out when you want more than friendship with them. I had to date lots of fraternity guys to figure this out, but it is definitely a lesson that I am going to remember. It's definitely hard to adjust to especially since you see them all the time (mixers, parties, philanthropy events, school). I just thought it was a lesson worth sharing with you girls!
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08-01-2001, 06:44 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Posts: 1,054
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In school yes, most guys are undateable but not nesessarily after we graduate. Dont assume we are all that way. There are some of us that go unnoticed
Kevin
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08-01-2001, 07:47 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,075
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hey all, this is a very good topic. Greekcutie , I totally feel you on that, I do believe most not all, I repeat fellas NOT ALL. But some of fraternity Men , are hard to deal with past the friendship thing. But some of you are really great. (Just haven't met the great ones :P )
Nothing but love guys~
DGPhoney~
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08-01-2001, 08:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Florida
Posts: 95
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I totally agree with you guys on this topic. Things have never worked out when I dated fraternity guys...but they do make excellent friends. Some of my fave memories from this past year have just been hanging out with them. You're right though about when it comes time to be more than just friends with them...not a good idea!!! I am beginning to think it is college guys in general, not just fratenity guys! They are soooo hard to understand.
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08-01-2001, 09:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 4,847
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ha ha I think its GUYS in general, not just college guys. They act like they like you and then they freak out. I give up. LOL
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08-01-2001, 09:40 PM
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 1,610
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Yeah I think it's most college guys in general and not just fraternity guys. I have not actually gotten to a dating stage with any college guy. Yeah my bf now is in school, but he was also in the Coast Guard for 4 years before going to school.
Here's one fraternity guy dating success story... one of my sisters dates an AXP. They've been together for quite a while!
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08-01-2001, 09:46 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Posts: 1,054
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Amy,
Girls can be just as confusing or even more so. lol Why cant I think what every woman was thinking for one day. ha ha
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08-01-2001, 09:58 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 758
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What the hell kind of thread is this? Where's all the testosterone on this board?
Just because you have had a few bad experiences doesn't make you dr. joyce brothers...
[This message has been edited by Lil_G (edited August 01, 2001).]
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08-01-2001, 10:41 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: ILL-INI
Posts: 7,207
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Um, I believe that is Dr. Joyce Brothers.
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08-01-2001, 11:30 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Intercontinental Champion
Posts: 2,715
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Hey now, Well sometimes it is hard to read what women think. Than woman blame it on the guys.
[This message has been edited by Ex greek (edited August 01, 2001).]
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08-01-2001, 11:38 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 827
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This is what I want
1) A guy to make me one of his top priorities. Number 3 would be good. I like to feel needed. To take care of me- pamper me- not necessarily with gifts, but time, the way you treat me in front of your friends- maybe pamper isn't the right workd 2)To listen to me and remember what I say
3) To like me would be nice too
Ex Greek- check out dream guys and you will find out exactly what girls are looking for!!!
I would like to have a relationship that is longlasting-my longest is a pathetic four months. What's wrong with me?
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08-01-2001, 11:42 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Intercontinental Champion
Posts: 2,715
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Alphasiglana, those three steps come easily to me, I always do that with women. Thanks for the info on the thread. Also there is nothing wrong with you about your relationship lengths. To me, it just means you haven't found the 'right' guy yet.
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08-02-2001, 12:03 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Who you calling "boy"? The name's Hand Banana . . .
Posts: 6,984
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Ummm . . . I think most of you ladies have made it perfectly clear that you do, in fact, know what college-age guys want - ie not a serious relationship . . . this is then followed up with "(Fraternity) Guys don't know what they want, which makes them hard to date."
I don't know what to tell you all - there's plenty of great guys running around, and a lot of them are in fraternities . . . seek 'em out, they're there, i promise! Just realize, many guys aren't into getting very serious, b/c at this age we can't deal with that. Hey, it's better to be up-front with this than to spring it on ya once you've picked out baby names and all that crap (which, btw, has happened to me . . . it was weird, i won't lie)!
I think the point is that we all have to realize that, just because guys don't necessarily want the same thing as girls, this doesn't mean that they don't know what they want (and vice-versa i suppose). Instead of limiting your potential dating situations by providing 'conditions' that need to be met, instead we should probably all try to be flexible in our desires (although not in our needs - sometimes hard to discern) for our significant others, and things will usually work out far better.
maybe.
-Rob
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08-02-2001, 01:28 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
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Hmmmm. Let me chime in here a bit. Fraternity men will eagerly commit to you if they like you enough, and understand that you like them in return.
Here are some guidelines:
1. Just because someone hooks up with you doesn't mean they like you all that much, especially if drunk. Even when they pay a lot of attention to you and call you.
2. Men even more than women can disassociate feelings from physical encounters.
3. Its not so much a question of whether a guy is ready for committment or not, its whether he is ready for a committment with YOU.
How many times will someone give someone the I-don't-want-to-be serious-right-now speech only to turn around and start dating someone seriously almost right away! (Hint: We all mentally rehearse that speech.) Why? They liked the other person more than you.
It sucks but it happens to us all. So lets not sugar coat it and make it seem like an age thing, college thing, or even guy thing. Its a like thing.
Kevin, you are way to nice you'll date more girls if you are a bit more callous Women like that
We, Fraternity men, make excellent friends in that we usually are partying and if you hang out with us will be hanging out with a bunch of guys that like to have fun and are paying attention to you. Sounds good to me I like hanging out with groups of girls . . . especially when I am the lone guy.
About our friends being more important: Again it depends on how much we like you. I have seen the biggest player type guys miss the social equivalent of Super Bowl parties to hang out with their girlfriend, and perish the thought, her parents. Why? Because he was really into her.
If we want to do other things more, well it means we are more into those other things than the girl. But there are probably other girls out there we would be more into than those things . . . if that makes any kind of sense.
About us saying we like you and then freaking out . . . its kind of the role you know? When we fall into the dating- boyfriend pattern we are kinda obligated to be supportive, caring, and say sweet things. A lot of time its pillow talk.
(shrug) So when we freak we are experiencing a kind of cognitive dissonance. Between where the role seems to be taking us and how we really feel about you.
Well g'night
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08-02-2001, 02:06 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 21
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I agree with what everyone has said here. I couldn't add my two cents without saying the same things again. However, I think that it is hard to date a fraternity guys with out dating the entire house. I know in smaller greek systems where everyone knows everyone this happens. What do you guys think???
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