NPC Recruitment Change...

[sigmagrrl]

There is a part of Panhellenic recruitment that I have been thinking about. It's the part about not being eligible to pledge another sorority for one calendar year if you decline a bid offered to you. I personally think that this should be changed. Women are more transient and more fickle these days. I think allowing a woman to try and join a sorority after ONE semester would be better for Greek life...Any thoughts on this? I've been thinking about this and really think this would help with retaining girls who are interested in going Greek. A calendar year is too much time to worry about keeping her interested. We are missing out on a key market here!! Let's look at this from a marketing perspective. I rush and do not get a bid from the sorority I wanted. I will be sullen and upset for a while, but if I know that I can try again in 5 months or so, I will not be so upset, just more willing to try again. I would get the opportunity to meet more sorority sisters and get more involved on campus. ALSO, what if I find out I like XYZ sorority better than ABC that I originally wanted? I can see joining them in 5 months. But a year? That gives me too much of a chance to say "Forget Greeks" and join band instead because they accepted me...Anyone have an opposing view?

[This message has been edited by sigmagrrl (edited October 18, 2000).]

[33girl]

Originally posted by sigmagrrl:
Women are more transient and more fickle these days.

If that's true, that's EXACTLY why it should stay as it is.

People need to really think about the responsibilites Greek life entails, and not just go jumping into it. If you depledge or don't take a bid, and you have that year, it will give you a lot more time to think about what you really want, not just who has the most flash.

And there's no law saying you can't hang out with the sisters of the chapter you are interested in. If they really want you to be a part of them they will be patient!

[Kymberleigh]

I have to agree with 33girl.

Much Love,

Kymberleigh
Delta Delta Delta

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by sigmagrrl:
It's the part about not being eligible to pledge another sorority for one calendar year if you decline a bid offered to you. I personally think that this should be changed.

I am with you, sigmagrrl. When I filled out my Bid Card, I was "bullied" by my Rho Chi to put down a sorority that I did not want to join (They were #7 for me out of 7 sororities.). She told me that I HAD TO put down ALL of my pref parties (we weren't allowed to decline any pref parties). I would have been better off putting down the 4 that I did want to be in, and if no bid was forthcoming, at least I would have been eligible for COB. As a result, the sorority that I did not wish to join did bid me, and I declined. Then I was stuck for a year. It was a very upsetting and devastating experience. I think to let girls try again in the next semester is a little less extreme. How I wished that I had better understood that whatever you write on your Bid Card essentially means that you will accept a bid from any of those sororities.

For those of you who oppose the 1 year hiatus, I would like to ask if you got your 1st, 2nd or 3rd choice?



[This message has been edited by CutiePie2000 (edited April 16, 2001).]

[PenguinTrax]

Cutie Pie,

It is supposed to say on the bid card that by signing it you agree to accept a bid from any of the above mentioned groups. That being said, the Rho Chi cannot and should not bully you into writing down more groups that you feel comfortable with. If indeed only 2 of the 3 groups you preffed were attractive to you, you should only have put down those two. On some campuses you are allowed to put down more than 3 selections. This is in the event you received more than 3 pref invitations and declined one or more with interest.

I don't know why you weren't allowed to decline a preference event invitation, that is somewhat unusual and goes against the system of mutual selection. Some campuses do that as part of their local rules, but as far as I know, it is generally frowned upon.

I accepted a bid from my #3 choice and have never regretted the decision I made almost 20 year ago. I've enjoyed long-term friendships and sisterhood and served my fraternity in many offices and capacities.

Although it is important for a woman to accept an invitation from a group she feels comfortable with, I have always believed that a person can be happy almost anywhere when the effort is made. What most potential members never think about is the fact that the chapter that offered them a bid already considers them a sister. If your 'preferred' choices had really wanted you as much as you wanted them, then you would have received a bid from that chapter.

Barbara

[carnation]

This is terrible! This is some Panhellenic group's misguided attempt to build up the weaker chapters but it doesn't--it makes people resentful and causes a lot of depledging. I wish you'd go into the Panhel office and tell the advisor what happened. If she ignores you, go to the VP of Student Affairs. No one should be forced into a sorority they never wanted.

[PenguinTrax]

Cutie Pie,

May I ask which campus this is and if all the groups on campus are NPC?

Thanks,
Barb

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by PnguinTrax:
Cutie Pie,
May I ask which campus this is and if all the groups on campus are NPC?

Yes, all groups are NPC. I will email you privately to discuss.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by PnguinTrax:

That being said, the Rho Chi cannot and should not bully you into writing down more groups that you feel comfortable with.

Indeed, my Rho Chi *DID* bully me into writing down a group that I was not comfortable with. I wished that I would have launched a complaint with Panhel after the fact, but I was so ignorant of how Rush worked. I wished I could have had this board as a resource...how much more capably I would have been to handle this situation.

If indeed only 2 of the 3 groups you preffed were attractive to you, you should only have put down those two. Looking back, how I wish I would have been brave and not permitted myself to be pressured and bullied.
I should have never put down a group on my Bid Card that I didn't want.

I don't know why you weren't allowed to decline a preference event invitation, that is somewhat unusual and goes against the system of mutual selection. I kept my Rush Documentation. We were NOT permitted to drop *ANY* parties. We had to attend all parties where we were invited. If I could have dropped that group, then they would not have been misled (by Panhell, not me) into thinking that I wanted them.

Until I discovered this board, I had no idea that on other campuses, Rushees can drop groups that don't interest them. I sure wish that had been the case on my campus.

I accepted a bid from my #3 choice and have never regretted the decision I made almost 20 year ago. I've enjoyed long-term friendships and sisterhood and served my fraternity in many offices and capacities. It is one thing to get your 3rd choice. It is another thing entirely to get a bid from a sorority you never wanted in the first place, but weren't permitted to drop them.

What most potential members never think about is the fact that the chapter that offered them a bid already considers them a sister. Understandably, the chapter must have thought that, since I wasn't allowed to drop them. For me to continue with Rush, it was mandatory that I attend ALL parties. I should never have been at their final party. But I HAD to be there...as dictated by the local Panhellenic's Rules.

[HeidiHo]

At my school the Rho Chi's cant talk to any rushees on pref night & the girls can't talk betwwen houses. You also were'nt allowed to speak to any one in a sorority until you got your bids, the next day. I thought that was totally crazy, until I read these posts, now it makes sense.

[33girl]

I have heard of having to go to all your pref parties, and I think that has some validity - the sisters may be bette at connecting with a smaller group, and it could help them and the rushees alike. But as far as your bid card - that should be the rushee's choice, PERIOD. If you want to put down 3, 2, 1, or none. I recall someone saying on here that at their campus if the rushees suicided (aka intentional single preference) they were ineligible for a bid. That is just wrong.

I think carnation is right - this is a local panhellenic trying to build up the weaker sororities, and I guess that is an admirable goal. But it's wrong that if forces the rushees to go someplace they never wanted, and it's also patronizing. "Poor XYZ needs some help. Let's funnel all these extra girls there." I don't care how small my chapter was, I would NEVER want a girl to be there who felt she was "bullied" into joining. I don't care if we were her second or third choice, as long as we were HER choice.

You should know - should be told by the Rho Chis and the Greek Affairs office - that if you suicide there's a big chance you won't get a bid. But you should also know that if you put down a group you don't want there's a big chance you WILL.

CutiePie - you definitely need to go to someone in student affairs on this one. What they are doing is contrary to Panhellenic procedure.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by 33girl:

But as far as your bid card - that should be the rushee's choice, PERIOD. If you want to put down 3, 2, 1, or none. I agree. However, at the time, I didn't feel like I had a choice. Read on...I explain below.

I recall someone saying on here that at their campus if the rushees suicided (aka intentional single preference) they were ineligible for a bid. That is just wrong.
I had no intention of suicide bidding. I wanted to put down 1 of my 2 prefs + 3 others (we were allowed to put down a total of 4). I tried to put down my 1 pref that I liked plus 3 others. (I did not attend the 3 others' prefs). My Rho Chi said I *MUST* put down BOTH of my prefs. I now know that this is wrong. But stupid, uninformed, ignorant, 19 year old me listened to her and allowed my instincts (which were saying to me, "don't put the other group down, you'll regret it") to be overridden by her.

I think carnation is right - this is a local panhellenic trying to build up the weaker sororities, and I guess that is an admirable goal. But it's wrong that if forces the rushees to go someplace they never wanted, and it's also patronizing. "Poor XYZ needs some help. Let's funnel all these extra girls there." I don't care how small my chapter was, I would NEVER want a girl to be there who felt she was "bullied" into joining. I don't care if we were her second or third choice, as long as we were HER choice. I agree. I have only learned thanks to this board that some Greek systems out there permit Rushees to drop groups that they don't want. I sure wish I had had that choice available to us.

You should know - should be told by the Rho Chis and the Greek Affairs office - that if you suicide there's a big chance you won't get a bid. But you should also know that if you put down a group you don't want there's a big chance you WILL. I now know this, and I will say again: I did not intend to suicide bid. There were 5/7 groups that I really liked. Unfortunately for me, I was made to feel that I could not drop this group.


CutiePie - you definitely need to go to someone in student affairs on this one. What they are doing is contrary to Panhellenic procedure. Unfortunately, this was a few years back, so I cannot take action to straighten this out. However, I am wiser now. What's more, I certainly learned that if I am not comfortable doing something, I will not be signing my name to it, whether it be a Bid Card, or a legal contract of some sort. I also recall that I had some questions about filling in my Bid Card, and was made to feel that I could not ask them. Rather, the mentality expressed to me was, "Don't ask questions. Just fill out the card and sign it."

[KarenC725]

Forgive me if I'm a little late coming into this, but CutiePie, did you get one of your choices the next year?

My roommate went through a similar situation. She had to put down her choices, got a bid from a house that she was hesitant about, attended half an hour of the bid day festivities and left. She waited the year and then rushed again. This time, she got a house she liked.

I was stupid and suicided my pref night. Granted, I loved my house but there will always be that part of me that wonders what could have gone differently.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by KarenC725:
Forgive me if I'm a little late coming into this, but CutiePie, did you get one of your choices the next year?

I will be honest and say that when I rushed the following year (I did informal rush the next year, not formal), no, I didn't get a bid from any of the houses that I wanted. So some people might say that I never had a hope of getting into any of the other 5 houses that I wanted (and maybe that is true, but we will never know). However, there was a sorority girl who was in my "rushee class" (for lack of a better word) that I got to talking to about Rush. I told her what had happened to me and I asked her how this could have happened. She said to me (off the record) that if you rush, decline your bid, and then rush again the next year, you are kind of viewed as "damaged goods" and the other sororities won't want to bid you, for fear of souring inter-sorority goodwill. So, while I was very frustrated to hear this, at least *SOMEONE* was honest with me, and told me how "it really was".

[KarenC725]

But you did end up being in a house? Did it all turn out well in the end?