help!! my guys cant talk to girls!!

DJ AJ · #1 12-26-2007, 03:06 AM

i dont know what to do..i just got recruited this last spring from my friend, and i slowly started to notice that the only girls that hung around were ones that had boyfriends in the fraternity. there are no new girls ever hanging out at our parties, or just...hanging out!!
if anyone has any advice on how to try to help my guys get talkin to girls it would be greatly appreciated. they have potential, its just i dont know how to get it out of them the skills they have. everyone knows that we all can talk to the opposite sex, its human nature, so help me help them!!!!

James · #2 12-26-2007, 03:11 AM

Are they athletic guys?

DJ AJ · #3 12-26-2007, 06:45 PM

ya, somewhat, not built or anything, but they arent fat or nerds or anything.

#4 12-26-2007, 06:55 PM

This thread reminds me of that 90210 episode where Steve Sanders teaches a class on How to Get Your Game On 101 at the Peach Pit After Dark. Students paid a $250 enrollment fee and were fed the lamest lines in the book. They ended up suing Steve in court (and were on TV), only to lose their case because David ended up testifying that Steve's methods actually worked for him.

Of course the girl saw this on TV as well and promptly left him.

DJ AJ · #5 12-26-2007, 08:00 PM

i would, but i go to a commuter school, and there is no really popular hang out with greeks there, i live in LA, its a pretty big city maybe i just gota get my guys to hang out around girls more? although they shy away from them....

kathykd2005 · #6 12-26-2007, 10:12 PM

This sounds horrible, but have you tried introducing alcohol into these "hangouts"? Alcohol usually starts to make anyone talk, no matter how socially inept they are. Again, I apologize for the non-pc statement, but I'm at a loss for finding a solution to this issue.

DJ AJ · #7 12-27-2007, 04:24 AM

ya, theres alcohol, but the thing is that when they drink they just get more buddy buddy with each other and not with the girls..not in a gay sense in a brotherly way

33girl · #8 12-27-2007, 10:39 AM

Hide their Blackberrys, PDAs, hand held video games etc when you all go out. I'm serious.

kathykd2005 · #9 12-27-2007, 01:39 PM

Ok, here's another route to take: this is what we used to do before we had our mixers, since some of our ladies were shy. Instead of just showing up and being like, "Here we are!" Maybe you should have a pre-formal hang out with some of the guys and some of the girls. Like someone said earlier, it's a lot more fun if people know each other a little bit before you "mix." Our social chair would get together the most sociable ladies and we'd just go over to their house or to a club and talk to one another a few days before the mixer. When we had the mixer, then we could go over to the guys and say, "Hey, this is so-and-so, I want you to meet so-and-so," introducing the sisters who weren't able to go beforehand, or were a bit too shy to just show up and talk to random guys. It worked out very well on several occasions, but you have to have a few guys who ARE willing to do some talking beforehand. Do you have any, besides yourself?

Tom Earp · #10 12-27-2007, 03:14 PM

I am still trying to put a grip on this posters comments.

Are you a National fraternity or a local?

If you have members who have girl friends, don't they have lady friends?

Maybe you all shold get with Oprah or Dr. Phil.

Tell the Brothers leave all nerdy stuff at home and learn how to talk with people! Maybe do a how to event within the group. Bring over some of the brothers girl friends to give a talk too.

DJ AJ · #11 12-27-2007, 04:55 PM

i am apart of a national fraternity, LXA as you are.

yes, i am the social chair.

i like the idea of the mixers, the only thing is that the officers in place are too scared to try anything new. pretty much our chapter almost got kicked off a couple years ago and they are all scared to do anything. that, and they have never done anything new or different. i will definitely try to have some mixers though. i do have a few guys that would be more than willing to go out there and talk to some sororities and see where that goes.

kathykd2005 · #12 12-27-2007, 04:57 PM

Have fun with it!

Send some emails to the surrounding sororities at other universities, too, in case you want to get out of a preconceived stereotype of how your chapter is on your own campus. Is your campus large? Sometimes it's easier for chapters to mix with people on different campuses than them. For instance, I went to a small college, but we always mixed with the gigantic schools' fraternities.

AlphaFrog · #13 12-27-2007, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ AJ

i am a part of a national fraternity, LXA as you are.

Grammar is sexy. So is capitalization. It will help your guys talk to girls.

kathykd2005 · #14 12-27-2007, 05:00 PM

AlphaFrog, you're just too much. I'm an English teacher, if you need a tutor, DJ.

Just kidding!

bejazd · #15 12-27-2007, 10:57 PM

DJ, have you considered that maybe the problem is not the brothers but their girlfriends? It takes a pretty confident young woman to let her man go to a party with other girls to which she's not invited. You guys might want to make an effort to let your girlfriends know you can behave yourselves and that it's important for the guys with girlfriends to help the brothers who don't meet some nice ladies too!