Spring Rushing Problem

Mdm999 · #1 10-23-2014, 02:09 PM

I am an 18 year old guy who is going to college this spring and very interested in rushing a fraternity. I have a big question though:

I have not been at school this fall and have instead been working full-time at home to save for school. The ugly, yet truthful reason I was not at college this fall was because just before I was supposed to move up, I got myself in some legal trouble because of a bad decision. This forced me to delay my entrance into college until this spring so that I had time to clear up my legal trouble. Thankfully, I got the charge dropped and it is now all behind me and I am excited to enter school. However I have been nervous about what to tell a fraternity when I'm asked why I waited to start my freshman year until the spring term. I know I shouldn't lie, but I think it would be very detrimental to my chances of getting a bid to tell them that "I got arrested for weed but it's all good now". That just makes me look bad. Should I instead say "I wanted to take some time off and a break from school" or something similar? What is your advice on this predicament?

Titchou · #2 10-23-2014, 07:24 PM

The first line of your second paragraph - working at home to get more money for school. Period, end of story. If they are rude enough to tell youo they heard you were arrested for possession, they aren't the guys you want to hang with. In which case your anwer should be that you planned to stay home in spite of what may have happened.

DGTess · #3 10-24-2014, 10:17 AM

However, if you were guilty but got lucky and the charges were dropped, you might be a risk-management problem for them. Fraternities that are seriously attempting to be more than party houses might rightly be wary.

AZTheta · #4 10-24-2014, 10:36 AM

Actually, you ARE a risk management problem. Have you stopped the risky behavior(s)? Or are you just smarter about not getting caught?

Considering all the negative issues that are surfacing currently (e.g. Oregon, Arizona, ASU, just on the West Coast), I wouldn't consider you to be a strong candidate for membership BUT I'm not attending your school and I'm NOT in a men's fraternity so maybe this is NBD.

als463 · #5 10-25-2014, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Actually, you ARE a risk management problem. Have you stopped the risky behavior(s)? Or are you just smarter about not getting caught?

Considering all the negative issues that are surfacing currently (e.g. Oregon, Arizona, ASU, just on the West Coast), I wouldn't consider you to be a strong candidate for membership BUT I'm not attending your school and I'm NOT in a men's fraternity so maybe this is NBD.

^Agreed 100% on this one. Sorry, OP. You may be a risk management issue for fraternities. I wish you the best of luck, though.

33girl · #6 10-26-2014, 09:46 AM

Posession doesn't mean he was running a coast to coast operation. It could mean a seed or two in some parts. And as puritanical as this country is about marijuana, if it was really hardcore, I doubt that the charges would have been dropped. It sounds like he's learned his lesson, so let's quit acting like this is Breaking Bad: The College Years.

LAblondeGPhi · #7 10-28-2014, 05:05 AM

mdm999 - you sound pretty articulate and remorseful about the situation. That bodes well for you, despite the fact that I would have the same concerns these other folks have had about your risk status.

That said, I think it's very possible that this young man has learned a valuable lesson, and will be better prepared to handle the temptations of college than most 18-year-olds. I think it will be that much more important for you to prove yourself a mature, responsible student throughout the recruitment process and in any interaction with classmates and hallmates in the spring.

I'd suggest sticking to a simple "I stayed home to earn some money for college and take care of some family concerns." Emphasize that those issues have been resolved, you're in a good place to afford Greek life now, and that you feel 100% ready to commit to college life.

Be careful, though, about folks who know your history from back home. I think the worst thing that could happen for you is if you go around telling the "stayed home to earn money for college" story to the fraternities, and a student from back home who knows the real reason tells everyone about your legal trouble.

DeltaBetaBaby · #8 10-28-2014, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Posession doesn't mean he was running a coast to coast operation. It could mean a seed or two in some parts. And as puritanical as this country is about marijuana, if it was really hardcore, I doubt that the charges would have been dropped. It sounds like he's learned his lesson, so let's quit acting like this is Breaking Bad: The College Years.

YUP.

als463 · #9 10-28-2014, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Posession doesn't mean he was running a coast to coast operation. It could mean a seed or two in some parts. And as puritanical as this country is about marijuana, if it was really hardcore, I doubt that the charges would have been dropped. It sounds like he's learned his lesson, so let's quit acting like this is Breaking Bad: The College Years.

I don't think anyone was saying that this was Breaking Bad: The College Years. The OP asked about what he should say and posters gave their opinion as to how this could be a risk management issue. We don't know the OP's troubles with drugs other than his statement about getting charges dropped. I think AZTheta asked if he stopped his behavior or if he just got smarter in regards to not getting caught. That's a valid question. We do not necessarily know the charges he had against him and we do not know if this poster struggles with addiction. "Just had some weed" can turn into so much more down the road. I've seen it. I stand behind my earlier post that the OP could be viewed as a risk management issue. I'm not going to sugar coat it. As stated earlier by other posters, some chapters may choose not to take someone on who has had any legal troubles. That is their choice. It is a reality of the situation, though.

DubaiSis · #10 10-29-2014, 04:25 PM

Bypassing the part about whether they should or should not take you based on this information (I personally don't think it will be a problem), I want you to think about something. Fraternity houses are known at a lot of schools as the primary source to get your weed and a lot of other socially unsavory things. You may have learned your lesson but how are you going to deal with the guys who are offering you pot, wanting you to party with them, possibly want you to get it for them? This is a very real concern for all fraternity members, but for a person who would not be treated kindly by the courts in a strike 2 scenario, I think you should be mentally prepared for how you're going to deal with that.

And to the extent you can, try to align yourself with a cleaner cut set. They'll still be smoking, drinking and lovin on the ladies, but maybe they'll be a bit more skilled at hiding it from the masses and be able to stay under the radar. The guys who need to brag about what they can get, how much they party, etc. will do nothing to help you avoid the cops in the future.

als463 · #11 10-29-2014, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Bypassing the part about whether they should or should not take you based on this information (I personally don't think it will be a problem), I want you to think about something. Fraternity houses are known at a lot of schools as the primary source to get your weed and a lot of other socially unsavory things. You may have learned your lesson but how are you going to deal with the guys who are offering you pot, wanting you to party with them, possibly want you to get it for them? This is a very real concern for all fraternity members, but for a person who would not be treated kindly by the courts in a strike 2 scenario, I think you should be mentally prepared for how you're going to deal with that.

And to the extent you can, try to align yourself with a cleaner cut set. They'll still be smoking, drinking and lovin on the ladies, but maybe they'll be a bit more skilled at hiding it from the masses and be able to stay under the radar. The guys who need to brag about what they can get, how much they party, etc. will do nothing to help you avoid the cops in the future.

I actually laughed out loud at this way of expressing the things the OP may encounter in college. This just makes me like you so much more. I feel like this is how I've probably phrased this in the past. Oh, and I like your statement about not knowing what to expect and being mentally prepared. While it would be great to think that this type of behavior does not occur in fraternities, it can and does (in some). OP, please do consider this when looking at the prospect of going Greek. Obligatory cliché statement about people, places, and things.