Need Advice Soon about COB

HappyGoLucky · #1 08-31-2004, 01:02 AM

I really liked a chapter when I rushed, but got upset over some other chapters cutting me, so I dropped. Now I'm gonna COB the chapter that didn't drop me, but that means they didn't make quota. Should I care? Does that mean its a bad chapter? I really liked the girls there, I just don't understand the process. Will it look bad to everyone else? I know this sounds silly, but I don't really understand how this all works!

erniegurl00 · #2 08-31-2004, 01:20 AM

Small numbers does not necessarily mean it's a "bad" chapter. Some times things happen and a house won't make quota. You sound like you really like this chapter, and IMHO this should be all that matters. If you like the house than who cares what others think? YOU should be happy.

I say go and check out the events and see what you think. I'm not sure how COB works there. Some places you have to go to the Greek Affairs office and sign up; other places you are invited. Maybe someone from her school can fill her in?

AGDee · #3 08-31-2004, 06:40 AM

There can be smaller chapters who raise a ton of money for our philanthropy, do a lot of community service, have a very strong sisterhood, a good reputation, good grades and leaders in other organizations. There can be larger chapters who don't do anything right. There can be any combination of small/large and good/bad. I work with some awesome chapters who don't always make quota. It could be that the chapter itself is inexperienced at recruitment, or are more comfortable in COB situations. If you enjoyed their recruitment events while you were gonig through structured and met a few women who you'd like to know better, it can't hurt to COB and find out more information! Don't ask why, but why not?

Dee

kateshort · #4 08-31-2004, 06:52 AM

In most cases, a chapter that hasn't made quota, even over a number of years, isn't even close to being a bad chapter. They may have less flash on first meeting them, but have a more down-to-earth sisterhood. As others have said, they may just be inexperienced at formal recruitment, or they may be going through a transition. That's no biggie. Few people will look down on you for that.

The only time I'd worry about rushing a chapter not making quota is if that chapter has only taken, say, 10-20% of their women through formal recruitment, and struggles all year to COB until they have enough women to function. A chapter like that may be more of a physical, mental, emotional, and time drain on you, since you may have to be rushing new members all the time. I have experience with that type of chapter, and the stress to always get new members makes it time-consuming and aggravating and a lot less fun.

That said, even if a chapter was in that position, it's important to give them your full consideration. Maybe you're the type of person that they need-- someone they can get who has gone through formal recruitment and has seen the formal and informal sides of rush, and someone who is willing to dig in and work hard to be a leader within a chapter.

Smaller chapters offer more leadership opportunities (which is great if you want them), but can also require more committment (since there are fewer women, more people have to take on more duties and have less time to just be sisters). You will know best what kind of committment and leadership you are able to offer at this time.

Definitely check out this chapter! You already said you really liked the girls there. If you believe that you can fit in and that you are willing to make a difference, you will make a great member of any chapter of any size!

ADPiShannan · #5 08-31-2004, 08:23 AM

All great info, but just wanted to add something. I really think coming into a sorority, dont worry about numbers. Worry about how you feel and whats in your heart. If you really feel comfortable and like the girls, you have fun with them and really feel like you belong there and would love to become a sister, do it. Numbers just makes it stressful and complicated. When I joined, I said who cares about the numbers and who cares if they are the number one house or number 10 house, if I like them, Im joining. Go with your heart. These girls may be AWESOME girls, you just need to look past them being small and give them a chance. May be something that you are thankful that you did too.

MaggieXi · #6 08-31-2004, 08:47 AM

Not making qouta is not a reflection of the sisterhood. Lots of chapters can make qouta, its retaining the members that is most important. If the chapter that you are interested has people that you click with and you could see yourself spending lots of time with then go for it.

adpiucf · #7 08-31-2004, 09:34 AM

Go to the office of Greek Life at your university and tell the person in charge you would like to be invited to COB events. Register for COB. If more than one sorority is holding COB, go to their events, too. If anything, going to COB at your less-favorites is a great way to get any nervousness out and practice meeting people and talking with them before going to your top choice... and you never know... you may fall in love with another chapter you wouldn't have considered before!

Good luck! Go sign up! NOW!

HappyGoLucky · #8 08-31-2004, 09:41 AM

I think only one chapter is doing COB and they already contacted me...the only thing is, I don't know if they really liked me or if they just wanna make their numbers?

shadokat · #9 08-31-2004, 09:51 AM

No chapter on UF's campus is worried about just making numbers. They have a ton of girls to choose from, and I don't think they'd contact you unless they liked you and wanted you to attend their events. If you like the chapter, I say go for it and have a ball!! As for numbers and only one group COBing, that doesn't matter. It's how you feel about belonging to that group that makes the difference.

Best of luck

AOII_LB93 · #10 08-31-2004, 10:12 AM

Ditto to what shadokat said, if they contacted you that means they are interested. Give it a shot, you may find your home yet!

EEKappa · #11 08-31-2004, 11:25 AM

I'll bet that the chapter jumped at the chance to COR you when they noticed you were still "available."

Go for it!

And to answer your earlier question, even the stongest chapters sometimes don't make quota, so not making quota is not an indication that it's a bad chapter. Recruitment dynamics are weird like that!

seraphimsprite · #12 08-31-2004, 11:48 AM

Go for it! Especially with COB, there's no reason not to go and at least see what they have to offer - you're not committing to join by going to a couple of events.

And don't worry about the chapter being a "bad" chapter because it doesn't make quota. My chapter rarely made quota during formal rush because it just wasn't our strong suit and we'd just get quota through COB instead. We may not have been at total, but we won tons of national awards and were a strong chapter in other ways. What's important is whether or not you feel comfortable there. I chose to join my chapter, even though they had to COB, because I knew it was where I belonged.

Remember, they invited you to COB because they're interested and want to get to know you better. If they offer you a bid, its because they truly want you to be in their sisterhood, not because they need the numbers.

#13 08-31-2004, 11:53 AM

In agreeance with what everyone else said.....here is my $.02. Quota is just a number. Sistershood, lifelong friendships, leadership, memories, etc., cannot be replaced by a number. You said you really liked this chapter, so don't let the fact that they didn't make quota make you feel any different. Try not to let what other people think influence your decision. If you find a 'home' that fits you, that is all that matters. I know in today's society it is hard to put behind you what other people think or how they treat you. You being happy is what matters the most!!!!

Keep smiling and good luck!!!!!!!!!

FSUZeta · #14 08-31-2004, 12:15 PM

your first sentence is you answer. you really liked this chapter and you are getting a 2nd chance with them(that is why i cap, your last name). if you want to be HAPPY, GO to their cob events.you are LUCKY you have a 2nd chance. don't live the rest of your life regretting not joining. you want them .GO get them!!

emleepc · #15 08-31-2004, 12:19 PM

A whole lot of sororities are CORing all year round. Does this mean there are problems in the chapter? Not necessarily. As a woman who went through initiation as a result of attending COR events, I can assure you that my decision was even easier---I didn't have to drop anyone, or worry about being dropped. My decision was just that---MY DECISION--and I am certain that I made the right choice. I consider COR events a way to get to know the chapter as a whole better, as well as individuals in the chapter. There is much less pressure all around. Give it a chance, and I'm sure you'll find your home!!