Worst. Breakup. Ever.

[jmagnus]

At least for me, I'm sure some of you have had worse. Anyways, here is my story.

First a little background info.
**We are both 20, I'll be 21 in Feb and she'll be 21 in June. I used to go to Southern Illinois University but, due to unfortunate circumstances, had to leave at the end of the 05-06 school year. I moved back home, started going to community college, got a job delivering Miller Beer and started dating TH(short for The Ho). When my parents found out that I left school, they promptly kicked me out and I ended up sleeping in my car for a few nights. I had only been dating TH for about a month but I ended up living there because of the obvious reasons. That January, the lease on the house she was renting with her friends expired and we moved into out own apartment.**

So I was dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years and we had been living together for almost as long. She started hanging out with this guy that knew her back in High School. Now this guy (I'll call him BS for short) had a huge crush on TH...and she knew it. He had just been dumped by his girlfriend of 4 years and was pretty upset. But then again, he had not talked to TH in almost as long. Being the nice guy that I am, I told her that it wouldn't be a problem with me if they hung out while I was at work and class. BS needed someone to talk to and I was being really cool about the entire thing.

Some more background info.

**At the time I was going to class 15 hours a week and working 60 so you can imagine I didn't have a whole lot of free time to spend with TH. Sunday was my only day when I didn't have work and/or class. At the beginning of our relationship we decided that Sunday would be "our day". A day when we would spend time with only each other. That and the 29th of each month, a "monthiversary" so to speak. About 2 months have passed since the above took place and I had still not met this guy, but they were still hanging out alone. I was still trying to be cool about it, but was getting a little frustrated.**

Well Sunday comes along and I'm really sick. So I tell TH that she can feel free to go out and have fun during the day because I didn't want to hold her back. I asked her to come back around PM to see if I was feeling better and maybe we could go out for dinner. Well, she comes back at 8:30 because she "was watching a movie". I was a little upset because I was worried and she wasn't answering her phone. So I say "Well, I'm feeling better. Lets go to Applebee's for dinner. I'll buy." TH tells me that she already made dinner plans with BS and they are going to Denny's, but I am welcome to come. So I agree to come with them. About 5 minutes later, BS calls and she tells him the plan. She gets off the phone and tells me "You can't come tonight. BS won't feel comfortable with you there. He said he needs to talk to someone he trusts" Well, I tell TH that I am definitely NOT OK with all of this and if she is going to be hanging out alone with some guy that has a crush on her I at least need to meet him. She makes an accusation and I tell her "I trust you, I just don't trust him. I don't think his intentions are honest." She gets all pissed off, calls me a controlling bastard, and storms out on me...

So I call up my cousin and Brother and asked him to pick me up.(I was angry and decided to drink...a lot) He came and got me and took me to the local "hangout" to meet up with a bunch of friends. While I was sitting in the diner, TH started apologizing through text messages saying she was wrong and would make it up to me. I forgive her (remember, nice guy) and she says she will take me out to dinner that coming Tuesday. She promised and said that no matter what happens, we were going out alone. I stayed home from work Monday because I was still sick. She had the day off but instead of taking care of me like I asked, she decided to go for a "drive". It was quite a long, 5 hour, drive. She got back allegedly around PM. I don't know because I went to sleep. I woke up at 5:30 and called her. She that she came home, changed, and decided to go to work. TH then told me she wouldn't be back until 10pm...

Some more background info.
**TH works as a general manager for Cold Stone, an ice cream store if you haven't heard of it. She makes her own hours and can pretty much come and go whenever she wants.
At 18 she moved out of her house. She went to community college for half a semester before dropping out to take a "shift-manager" job and Cold Stone...for 25cents more than minimum wage. As GM, she makes $1 more. She told me many times that she had no intention of going back to school because she didn't know what she wanted to do. I suggested going back and taking some gen ed classes and maybe she would find something she liked but it was to no avail.**

My throat hurt and I decided that ice cream would make it feel better. So I go to Cold Stone and guess what...she isn't there. I asked one of the kids that works there where she was and no one seemed to know. Then the story changed to "well she just left". So I call her and she said that she had to run to walmart to get bananas for work and would meet me at home. I go home, go to sleep, and wake up that morning as she is leaving for work. I remind her about our dinner plans that night and she says she remembers. I end up going in to work for about 3 hours but decide that I could use one more day of rest so I go home and go back to sleep. I wake up at 5 and call her to find out where she's at. She said she had an "emergency" at work and was going to have to stay until 7...but would still make home in time to take me out before everyplace closed at 9. So I get up, shower, get ready to go. 7:15 hits so I call her again.

More background info.
**TH moved out at 18 and hadn't talked to her parents more than 4 times since then and when I met her. I convinced her that she should try to reconcile and she did...sorta. She made phone calls every once in a while and visited either her dad or mom once a month. Her mom only lived about 15 minutes away from us and her dad was about 40 minutes away. Not that far away if you really care about visiting.**

TH answers the phone saying "I was just about to call you". She then goes on to tell me that she had to go pick up her dad and take him to a auto shop to pick up a car...absolutly killing the dinner plans that she promised to me. By now I had had just about enough. I told her something along the lines of I was sick of being 2nd to everything else in her life. She again accused me of being controlling and told me that her family comes first in her life. (An odd statement I though seeing as how she hardly ever makes the time to visit or call...unless I remind her) I finally snapped and accused her of cheating on me with BS. All she said was that if that's what I thought about her, then we were done. I told her "Yes, I think you are cheating one me. You haven't really given me much of a reason not to think that lately". She called me an asshole and hung up. She came by that night to get some clothes and didn't say a word to me.

As she was about to leave, she told me that I had one more chance to say what I really thought about her. Now, I had been drinking straight Jack for about an hour and I said some things I probably shouldn't have. Although, the more I reflect on what I said, the more I think that what I said was a premonition of things to come.

Before I do that though, a little more background information.
**This girl had a shit ton of tattoos and piercings. I didn't have a problem with that, even though I have none of my own, I just didn't like where they were at. She had one on the back of each hand, one behind each ear, and one around the neck...and many more. I just mention these because that would make it hard for most people to find a "decent job" and my parents would call it. She decided she was going to get a star at the end of each eyebrow...I though it was a bad idea**



My exact words "OK, I'll tell you exactly what I think. I think you are a raging fucking bitch. I think that you will never do better than being the manager of fucking Cold Stone. If you ever do leave that place, the best you will ever be is a waitress or a bartender at a shitty downtown bar that gets robbed every other weekend for the rest of your life. And you know what, go ahead and get the face tattoo, see if i fucking care. It will just make you fit in better when you are waiting in the welfare line for food stamps for your 8 bastard children back home in the trailer park. Now get the fuck out of here and leave me alone".

That was the week before Thanksgiving week of this year. I called the next day and apologized but she wasn't having it. She said she "just needed some time to think about things", but we all know how that works. 3 days later she was dating BS. I heard she wanted to move in with him but since he still lived at home, his mom said no. Here comes the creepy part. He is 28. It works out so that when he was graduating High School, she was turning 10. Maybe it's just me but I think that is really creepy. Also, he is 28, he never went to college, he still lives with his mom and is a shift manager at a grocery store.

The problem is, as much as I hate her, am convinced that she was cheating on me and know that she wasn't right and was holding me back from my dreams...I really was, and kinda still am to an extent, in love with her. I wanted to get married to her one day. But oh well, right? Not a whole lot I can do about it. Losers attract losers. But is it wrong that I want her to be miserable with him? Is it wrong that I want him to treat her like crap? Is it wrong that I want her to come crawling back to me so I can refuse and make her feel the same way she did me? Well, I don't get to use it that much but if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. I know that all our mutual friends have stopped talking to her. I also heard that she is probably going to get fired soon and has put on about 50lbs in the last couple months. I really don't feel bad. She is still trying to fuck me over. She changed all the bills into my name without telling me so I had some fun late fees to pay.

I appreciate your comments if you want to leave them. Regardless, if you read the entire post, congratulations. At the very least hopefully this makes you feel a little better about yourself or your own relationship if you have a crappy one. There is a bright side to all this. I found out that with my full load this semester plus 3 CLEP tests, I will graduate this semester. I've been accepted to Southern Illinois University again for the fall. I'll finally be going home to be with my TKE boys again...

-Josh Magnuson

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by jmagnus

Regardless, if you read the entire post, congratulations.

You know...normally if I click into a thread and the OP is this long, I wouldn't have read it. But, there was something compelling about it. I PMed you.

[catiebug]

I hope it all works out for you, Josh - I really do. Congratulations on getting your life back in order and returning to Carbondale.

[DaemonSeid]

I will read this when I have some time....

[1908Revelations]

I normally do not read post that are this long or I wait for someone to give me a break down. However, I did read you post and I think you knida knew it was going to end sooner or later. Regardless of the events that occured, you are going back to your original school and that is wonderful! I know it is cliche to 'find the silver lining in the cloud', but you will get over this hurt and meet other people.

Good luck in school!

[ForeverRoses]

wow. Well, good luck back at school. Don't worry in 5 years, you will be successful and will walk into a Cold Stone and TH will end up being your server. karma is a b*tch.

[DaemonSeid]

I hate to sound harsh...but man up, chin up and move on....there is more fish in the sea.

Let this simply be a learning lesson to you and move on.

And if you like calling women hoes...we have someone here on GC we can introduce you to...you and he would get along swimmingly

[jmagnus]

Thanks for all the kind words everybody. I appreciate it.

Daemon, I'm no prettyboy. There is only one "hoe" in my life...and I truly believe she deserves the title. I'm not about disrespecting women, or anyone for that matter, unless they did something to earn it. Remember, a certine someone said to follow the golden rule....but I tend to reverse that sometimes. Treat others as they treat you...sometimes.

And no, you didn't sound harsh. I just couldn't sleep so I decided to tell my story to the GC world...and whoever wanted to listen.

Until next time,
Josh

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by jmagnus

Treat others as they treat you...sometimes.


Until next time,
Josh

That's the spirit....you are still young have more fine 'hoes' to come by...LOL..enjoy it while you can!

[jojapeach]

Congrats on graduating and going back to Carbondale!

In regards to that relationship..., you were dragging out the inevitable. She didn't want to be there, and you know that you deserve better. So, be thankful it ended this early before kids came along to make a divorce nastier. It's gonna take time, but all you can do is learn the lessons and move forward. It'll hurt for a while, but you'll be better for it in the long run.

[Kevin]

Crisis averted. Imagine if BS hadn't existed and everything in your relationship had worked out for a few more years. You'd still be tied down where you are, maybe be married, maybe have a few kids... then get divorced, pay child support, alimony, etc.

People don't change. If she cheated on you at this point or treated you like that, that sort of behavior would have eventually come to the surface. You did the right thing and will one day be happier for it.