Unusual situation-how much do I tell?

[rockette676]

Hey Everyone!

I need some advice. I have had quite an interesting past. Since age 13 I've struggled with anorexia, depression, and anxiety. Much of my high school years were spent in hospitals and treatment facilities, resulting in me receiving my GED. I scored very high (received honors) as well as did great on my SAT's. I was able to be accepted to several universities and chose my dream school about 14 hours from my home. I had planned on rushing there, but about half way through the semester I relapsed back into my eating disorder and was forced to leave school to seek treatment. After several months back in treatment I decided it was best for me to wait a year to go back away to school and enroll in community college. I successfully completed a full year at a local community college while continuing outpatient treatment and this past spring applied again to 4-year universities that were closer to my home. I decided on a school about an hour and a half away and am all set (although nervous of failure) but excited to go! Becoming greek is something I have always wanted and I am very happy that the school I chose to attend in the fall has a very active greek life.
I will be entering as a sophomore, which is perfect because I will not behind in regards to rushing. Formal recruitment is only open to sophomores and above in the fall, I will be able to jump right in. But, here is where I need the advice... what do I tell the sororities? They are going to want to know why I transferred. I obviously can say I just decided to do community college for a year and then go away (which is the truth) but what about the first attempt at college and the GED. The college is aware of these things, will the sororities be as well? I am somewhat open about my struggles and have actually become quite active in eating disorder awareness... but at the same time I don't want my past to overshadow the person I am today when meeting the girls during recruitment. I also don't want it to be the main topic of discussion with me or a reason to NOT accept me into their sorority. What do you guys suggest I do? I don't want to lie but I also don't want to divulge my whole life story to everyone.

Thanks so much for your help!!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by rockette676

Hey Everyone!

I need some advice. I have had quite an interesting past. Since age 13 I've struggled with anorexia, depression, and anxiety. Much of my high school years were spent in hospitals and treatment facilities, resulting in me receiving my GED. I scored very high (received honors) as well as did great on my SAT's. I was able to be accepted to several universities and chose my dream school about 14 hours from my home. I had planned on rushing there, but about half way through the semester I relapsed back into my eating disorder and was forced to leave school to seek treatment. After several months back in treatment I decided it was best for me to wait a year to go back away to school and enroll in community college. I successfully completed a full year at a local community college while continuing outpatient treatment and this past spring applied again to 4-year universities that were closer to my home. I decided on a school about an hour and a half away and am all set (although nervous of failure) but excited to go! Becoming greek is something I have always wanted and I am very happy that the school I chose to attend in the fall has a very active greek life.
I will be entering as a sophomore, which is perfect because I will not behind in regards to rushing. Formal recruitment is only open to sophomores and above in the fall, I will be able to jump right in. But, here is where I need the advice... what do I tell the sororities? They are going to want to know why I transferred. I obviously can say I just decided to do community college for a year and then go away (which is the truth) but what about the first attempt at college and the GED. The college is aware of these things, will the sororities be as well? I am somewhat open about my struggles and have actually become quite active in eating disorder awareness... but at the same time I don't want my past to overshadow the person I am today when meeting the girls during recruitment. I also don't want it to be the main topic of discussion with me or a reason to NOT accept me into their sorority. What do you guys suggest I do? I don't want to lie but I also don't want to divulge my whole life story to everyone.

Thanks so much for your help!!

I would stick to the general reasons (wanting to go to a CC and then go away.)

The thing with telling people "oh I transfered because I was in treatment for anorexia, blah blah" is that you don't want to be known as "that anorexic girl." There's much more to you as a person than that.

[AlphaFrog]

Pretend that you're on a first date with a guy* and decide how much you would share in that situation. Use that as a guide.

*Assuming that's your preference. Also, obviously, how much you share depends on how comfy you feel with that person - same with rush.

[rockette676]

thanks so much for your help! I agree that I don't want to be sharing too much.. my anorexia would not be the topic of the discussion on a first date! I guess I'm more concerned about them finding out about my history with the other school and GED- how would I handle explaining that? Maybe I'm thinking too much into this...

[Barbie's_Rush]

"I finished my freshman year at the community college in MyHomeTown. I'm so excited to be here at MyNewUniversity." Then talk about why you chose the school and what you plan to do there etc. etc. Practice until it flows naturally and you don't feel you have to spill about your prior difficulties. Remember, no one is trying to 'trap' you. They're just trying to get to know you and figure out if you'll be a good fit.

Also, someone can correct me, but since you're a CC transfer I think all they will see is that GPA?

[aephi alum]

Apply the KISS rule: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (I'm not saying you're stupid. Just the opposite - you were very smart to get the treatment you needed. But KIS doesn't make sense as an acronym. )

Rusher: I understand you just arrived at Exciting U. as a sophomore?
rockette676: Yes.
Rusher: So where did you transfer from?
rockette676: Actually, I spent a year at Local Community College, but I transferred here because I really want a 4-year degree and Exciting U. is close to home and has an awesome biology program.
Rusher: Wow, that's so interesting! Oh, hey - here's my sister OtherRusher. She's a bio major too, and a sophomore. You'll probably have some classes together ...

etc.

If you are grilled about why you have a GED instead of a normal high school diploma, etc., just say you had some problems with your health. If the rusher pushes it, just say you'd rather not talk about the specifics. A good rusher won't push it.

Will you be commuting? Keep in mind that some house-operating chapters have a live-in requirement.

Good luck!

[psusue]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but like Barbie's Rush said, if you have been to a CC for a year, they won't even really look at your HS record much. At least, if I were rushing you I would focus more on college related questions to ask you about. Also if you simply said you'd be to CC for a year I would not realize/would not think to ask if you'd been to another university first. The question would not even occur to me. And going to a CC for a year or two is becoming increasingly common for financial reasons so honestly, if it were me, I would not think twice about your situation. I would likely just ask you what drew you to the university, what you were studying, what were your goals, etc.

Remember, on the other side of recruitment we are just as nervous as you a lot of the time (well, not so much nervous, but it was called rush for a reason). If I were recruiting you, I would really be focusing on where you were going in school/life than anything. However if you have community service/activities in the past that you'd like to highlight, do so. If you're comfortable, mentioning that you are involved in community service/philanthropy work related to eating disorder awareness, I would (personally) be impressed by that. But that is only if you are comfortable sharing that, and totally up to you.

Just imagine you're in our shoes-- we're trying to see what kind of woman you are and to see if you'd fit in the chapter (which you are doing as well). It's kind of like a job interview-- highlight the positives and draw out the positives in any negative. You are more than your past, and I would like to personally say that I am happy that you got the help that you needed. As a person who used to have an eating disorder, I know that I have received a lot of help and support from my sisters in dealing with it and its aftereffects. Many women, Greek and non-Greek, have had eating disorders so know that even if you don't go Greek that you can find support. Best of luck with recruitment and in your life.

[FSUZeta]

good advice all the way around. good luck to you(and let us know how everything goes, if you will).

[*winter*]

Wow! Good for you for getting through all of that. I agree with others- stay general and stay positive. I have a weird, non-sequential past so I have to deal with stuff like this from time to time. People asking questions in a get to know you way but it is hard when things don't follow the usual timeline. One thing that works is give a short answer and then ask them about themselves. Most people like talking about themselves, it seems natural in the course of the convo and not an obvious "subject change." for example, I started at CC. How about you? How long did it take you to get used to this place as a freshman? It's huge! Then sister is talking about her experiences and the convo moves along nicely.

One bit of concern, and you don't have to answer on here...but think about it. Do you have a good support system for your eating disorder as you adjust to college? That is stressful, recruitement and new member period is stressful. Can you call or visit support people? Even just keeping in touch with them on a regular basis is a good idea, because then if (when) something terrible happens suddenly (breakup, failed exam) you will have people to talk to- it's not like you'll be calling them out of the blue. Also your new school might have a group to support you also. Good luck!!!

[rockette676]

Wow! You girls are amazing. I can't thank you enough for all your help I will certainly keep you updated.
psusue- I think if the opportunity arose I would like to mention my involvement with the eating disorder activism piece of my life- I'm glad to know someone who could potentially be rushing me would be impressed with it. And it doesn't "give me away" so to speak, many people get involved with it for other reasons such as a friend or family member who struggled. And congrats on your recovery!! It's not easy but I'm glad you've found such great support through your sorority.
Winter- You bring up an excellent point- and yes I will be working with a therapist near campus as well as joining a support group! It certainly is going to be a tough transition but I am much more confident in my recovery this time around then the last.

Thank you again for all your help, can't tell you how much I appreciate it

[rockette676]

Another question for you guys! Rec's- what should I do about the high school section? Some of the RIF's don't have them but for a few sororities it asks for high school and GPA, the people writing the recs for me where unsure. Thanks so much!!

[33girl]

I would call whomever issued your GED and ask them how to handle this - I'm sure other graduates have to deal with it on job applications and such.

[HannahXO]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would call whomever issued your GED and ask them how to handle this - I'm sure other graduates have to deal with it on job applications and such.

I would definitely do this, but you may be able to get away with just writing N/A for your HS GPA and instead noting your CC GPA.

It's not applicable in 2 senses: first, you have taken college courses and demonstrated your ability to perform at that level, making a HS GPA pretty irrelevant. And second, you have a GED and therefore no GPA...but sororities don't even necessarily need to know that. If members question it, they will most likely question why the rec writers did it that way, and not why you aren't sharing your GPA.

Just my $.02, feel free to chime in if I'm wrong!

[Just interested]

We are getting more and more references that say Home Schooled then have the GPA. No one seems to question it. I think the transcript from your community college should suffice.