Introducing significant other to family and friends

abaici · #1 10-29-2003, 11:33 AM

Hey GC'ers,

Just a quick survey. How long do you wait before introducing your guy/girl to your family and friends?

My distraction and I are at a serious point of contention over this issue. I feel that it's cool to meet friends after dating a little bit. But, I just do not bring people around the fam. We have to be VERY serious (MAIN REASON: my family is crazy! i have to be sure you won't leave me after meeting them!)

Anyway, what's a reasonable amount of time: a month...3 months...longer?

nikki1920 · #2 10-29-2003, 11:37 AM

6 months..for family

Eirene_DGP · #3 10-29-2003, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nikki1920
6 months..for family

I agree...I met my bf's family way too early and it seriously made me reevaluate how much I REALLY like him in order to put up with the madness.

darling1 · #4 10-29-2003, 12:21 PM

ideally i would wait at least a year. you and your 'distraction' (i like that) would be just getting over the honeymoon phase of the relationship and depending on your age will be looking at the next steps in your relationship.

this is something that shouldn't be rushed. i also feel that you will know when the time is right.

Steeltrap · #5 10-29-2003, 12:46 PM

I'd also wait 6 months or so to introduce your SO to the fam. I was going to do a sidebar about not bringing your SO's kid over to your family's home when your relationship isn't super-solid (true story with a family member of mine), but I digress.

treblk · #6 10-29-2003, 12:55 PM

another part to your question too abaici is, When do YOU want to meet his Family?? that may give you an idea when to bring him around your fam.

abaici · #7 10-30-2003, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by treblk
another part to your question too abaici is, When do YOU want to meet his Family?? that may give you an idea when to bring him around your fam.

Well...his family lives about five hours away. But, even if they lived 10 minutes away, I'm not trying to go there just yet. It's been three months, but I'm cool with the six months - year. Sounds good to me!

Honeykiss1974 · #8 10-30-2003, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by abaici
Hey GC'ers,

Just a quick survey. How long do you wait before introducing your guy/girl to your family and friends?

My distraction and I are at a serious point of contention over this issue. I feel that it's cool to meet friends after dating a little bit. But, I just do not bring people around the fam. We have to be VERY serious (MAIN REASON: my family is crazy! i have to be sure you won't leave me after meeting them!)

Anyway, what's a reasonable amount of time: a month...3 months...longer?

This was a BIG area of contention with me and an ex. We had only been dating for maybe a month and he was wanting to me my family. I was like "umm, no, I don't just bring any and everybody to meet my folks". Believe me it was a huge source of tension.

I eventually caved in after 3 months, but my ideal time is about 6 months to a year as well.

BirthaBlue4 · #9 10-30-2003, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eirene_DGP
I agree...I met my bf's family way too early and it seriously made me reevaluate how much I REALLY like him in order to put up with the madness.

Girl, you're a mess, but they'll be your family too!! (Did yall talk yet...)

Anyway, I NEVER intrhoduce a guy to my family until its ULTRA serious. They don't even hear a name until we're tight. Now my friends, I may mention him, I may not, but I'm at the point now where I don't mention them to friends either unless its tight, because if they f---up, you gotta explain what happened, blah blah blah, and most of the time I don't feel like it.

But, on a time scale, I can't really say, it depends on how we prhogress, anywhere from a month to three months.

aephi alum · #10 10-30-2003, 01:35 PM

"distraction" - I like that

I met my husband's family one month after we started dating. He'd invited them up for his graduation, and I almost fell over when he said "Hey, my parents are in town, wanna go to dinner with them?"

I must have really loved him even way back then, because I didn't run screaming after I met his folks

It wasn't long after that when I introduced him to my parents. He must have really loved me too, because he didn't run screaming either...

UpPinkies · #11 10-30-2003, 06:31 PM

For me, a long, long, long time. First the parental units. I'm not worried about the dad, but my mom is a retired cop and can be pretty ruthless when it comes to her BABY (yes, I'm still her baby). Then I would have to introduce him to my grandmother and aunt and they interview people like crazy. I love them to death, but have never seen two individuald who can meet a person and in 5 minutes know their whole back ground, but sometimes this comes in handy.

evaclear04 · #12 10-30-2003, 07:35 PM

I'm going to go with the majority here and say 6 months to a year. After 6 months most of all the mushy "I'm on my best behavior" has ended. And you are really trying to evaluate your next steps with this "distraction" (I likes!).
Plus bringing someone to meet your family is like bringing them into a more private part of your life. It should be considered a very special occassion.

SkeeWee14 · #13 10-30-2003, 07:37 PM

For me it will be a year or longer simply because I have a 10 year old son and I do not believe in bringing just any man around him. I have to know that we are in it for the long haul and that it's actually going somewhere. Even then, he will be introduced as "just a friend" until they can develop a positive friendship. As for the rest of the family...I can care less if they ever meet. All of them are crazy!!! LOL.

Steeltrap · #14 10-30-2003, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SkeeWee14
For me it will be a year or longer simply because I have a 10 year old son and I do not believe in bringing just any man around him. I have to know that we are in it for the long haul and that it's actually going somewhere. Even then, he will be introduced as "just a friend" until they can develop a positive friendship. As for the rest of the family...I can care less if they ever meet. All of them are crazy!!! LOL.

^5 Soror.

I sure wish that my nephew's ex-GF had thought to do the same with her daughter...

Munchkin03 · #15 10-30-2003, 08:02 PM

I met Dude's family after about a year, same with my immediate family.