Severe Frustration

[LeslieAGD]

Ok, I am having a major issue with one of my roommates/sisters and I hope my GC family can help me out a little bit.

Here's the situation:
My roommate has been ignoring me for at least a week now. I have been feeling alienated by her but I thought maybe it was just the stress of initiation and finals, etc. so I decided to leave it alone. This afternoon, she confronted me about something that I find soooooooooo absolutely, positively ridiculous. She was basically mad because over a month ago, I asked her lil sis to possibly live with me next year. Now, I need to throw in some background information so this makes some sense...My roommate's lil sis is a girl that was in my Rho Chi group, and we are pretty close. About two months ago, my roommate did the exact same thing (ignored me for a week and then blew up at me) because she was basically jealous about the bond between her and her lil sis/me and her lil sis. I thought it was kinda dumb, but I figured that she was just being insecure and she wanted to get to know her lil sis better so I kind of backed off a bit. Well, it was one thing at the beginning of the semester, but she's turning her lil sis into a doll that she wants to fight over!!! She thinks I wasn't being a friend because I didn't consult her before talking to her lil sis about us living together, because she wanted to ask her to live together (even though at the time she said she was thinking of living with her own big sis).

My point is that:
a) My asking her lil sis to possibly live with me happened at least a month ago
b) We're not even going to live together, so why is she throwing a fit about it?
c) I don't feel that I need to ask her permission when I do anything involving/concerning her lil sis
d) Even though she is my roommates lil sis, I knew her first and she is grown up enough to make the decision to hang out with whoever she wants.

Am I crazy here because I think this is soooo perposterous!!! I tried to talk to her but she acted like a kindergartener and basically said "if you don't understand why I'm mad, I'm not going to explain it to you." How the heck am I supposed to deal with her??? Argh!

[AlphaGam1019]

Leslie,

UGH! People deal with things in their own way, I suppose your roommate approaches it her own "special" way. How much longer do you have to live with her?

I think all your points are very valid. Your roomie's lil' is old enough to choose who to live with next year. Her lil' isn't "property" owned by your roommate. Maybe she feels you'll take her lil' away from her. Sorry to tell her, but just because you have a little sister, it doesn't mean that she'll be the #1 closest friend- it just doesn't work that way.

Your roommate sounds stubborn. lol. Maybe you could say something like "I didn't mean to upset you..." and go down your valid points. There isn't any way she could say anything to that. :P

[AGDLynn]

Sounds like she is "very" (lol) possessive and thinks that she is the lil's real mother to decide who, when, where and how others can related to the lil.

Since you and lil aren't going to be living together, there is no reason to argue with your roomie.

I know what you are going through..there are some co-workers that get upset if they are not involved in the conversation even though it doesn't apply to them..something as simple as today's where 2 other co-workers were discussing whether or not there was an extra pencil drawer on an unused desk in the basement. I am to the point that if you want the info, ask me directly.

I don't respond to their mutterings at their desk so that I won't seen to be "eavesdropping" even though they are talking so loud half the floor can hear them.

Perhaps someone could talk to her about her possessiveness and anger.

[LeslieAGD]

I have to live with her for the rest of the school year and I just don't want to deal with such petty issues! Since she has stopped talking to me, I noticed that I have stopped trying to talk to her. I don't want to drop down to her childish level, but I don't want to try talking to a brick wall either!

I can kind of (Like 15%) see your roomates sde a lil, but its still no reasont o ignore you. She is being a bit of a nut about it. However, is it possible that she wanted to room with you again?

[AlphaGam1019]

Just some advise: the longer the silence, the more awkward things get!! Trust me, I know!! lol

[Emilitab]

Leslie:

I had similar problems with my roommate at the beginning of this year. My issue was she was just disrespectful and not a good person to live with. We just didn't talk, and finally, i said to her that she needs to look at the situation and realize that not talking to me doesn't help, and if she really is that mad at me, she should try to make other room arrangements (although that would not be possible) So, after that, we got along much better. Sometimes confronting the problem is the best way to get past it, even though it is not always fun.