Worried

taukappaepsilon · #1 02-08-2010, 06:25 PM

How's it going yall, I just registered today and am posting this topic today because I am truly worried about my chapters unity, lack of activity in the community and on campus, our image, and our knowledge/recognition/upholding of what TKE stands for.

First of all let me start off by saying that I attend a university with about 6% of the students involved in greek life at a campus of about 18,000.With about 20 some members we are the smallest out of the fraternities on campus. When I talk about unity this can be blamed on the fact that we don't have a house. We are scattered around campus and apartments off campus. The only time we meet is once a week and even then only half of the brothers will show up. It's pathetic. I will rarely see brothers on campus and even with a small group of brothers I will not talk to some at all. I love them to death, but the lack of unity is concerning to say the least.
When I say we have a lack of activity I basically mean we do not do shit. It's very bad, we have no fundraising, no charity, community service, or anything. On campus we have done nothing in awhile, and off campus I think you'd have to go back quite awhile. When it comes to image, our PR is terrible the school is always breathing down our back it seems and when other fraternities of sororities hear of us they'll say they never heard of us or call us the "junk fraternity". I don't blame them to be honest, we have little to show for. Not to mention we haven't had a mixer in years.
We have no rituals, no days to put aside our daily lives and look at what bonds us together. In a way TKE bonds us together solely because we are in TKE, not because we share beliefs or because we have common goals. It doesn't feel greek or look greek. Knowledge of the fraternity is few and little, when I pledged I was taught little and it did not resonate with me.

You can say I'm over reacting, but I see no reason for people to join the chapter I am a part of in the future. We have a brother hood, which looks weak in comparison to the other fraternities and then what else do we have? Nothing, while others can boast things we can only talk of.

I am truly concerned for my chapter. Please give me any help to turn this around, we had Buckwheat come down, but that didn't seem to have the desired effect. I joined this fraternity for what TKE stood for, to become a better man, and for the brothers that I love to this day. I see nothing about our chapter that transforms boys to men or function like a fraternity. So I thank you for taking your time to read this and would greatly appreciate it if yall could please take a moment of your time and put us in the right direction.

YITB,
Concerned Teke

UofM-TKE · #2 02-08-2010, 10:17 PM

This is one thing that we did when I was an active which went a long way in developing bonds that have spanned decades. It may be useful for your house too.

At my school most of the fraternities arranged with the school cafeteria that was open to the public, to have tables assigned to each house. These were off to the side in a place that was not occupied by anyone else during the day and which gave us some privacy. The caf got extra customers and we got a place to hang. Each house made some sort of plaque with their letters on them to designate their table. This also led to some inter-fraternity bonding. Between classes, the brothers sat, talked, ate and in general bonded. Sorority women that we were friendly with also enjoyed a place to hang out as well. And that got us closer to them. If the pay caf isn't available, there is probably some place that the brothers could have as a meeting place through the day.

Meeting only once a week is a club, not a fraternity. Without a house, it is tough, but you need to spend many hours together to develop a brotherhood. You need to share laughter and sadness together. Time spent together and sharing builds bonds, but it doesn't just happen. If it did, the dorms would build lasting friendships. What makes a fraternity different is the mutual selection and the time spent together.

Good luck

33girl · #3 02-08-2010, 11:45 PM

Do any of the brothers live together? Make that, if not your space for chapter meetings (I'm guessing you have those on campus) your gathering/hangout space. Ditto what your brother below said about the school cafeteria. This is IMPERATIVE for getting your name out to freshmen and sororities. Even if you can't formally reserve a spot, get in the habit of all eating at the same table every day.

Those guys that don't show up to meetings? Kick them out. Get rid of the dead weight. They aren't thinking about the fraternity, the fraternity should stop wasting time thinking about them.

taukappaepsilon · #4 02-09-2010, 05:03 PM

Appreciate the suggestions yall. Some brothers do live together, but we meet on campus due to accessibility. The cafeteria idea sounds good, but not everyone's schedules work out, but I guess I could bring up the idea of trying to get us all together at a meal. People who don't show up at meetings, I wouldn't want to get rid of them, but then there are those in hundreds of dollars of debt. They are the ones who we consider brothers, but we never actually see them.

Forgot to mention we have a house for next year with about 8 of us living there so there's a better chance of unity next year, but I personally want a fraternity. Not just a brotherhood

33girl · #5 02-09-2010, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taukappaepsilon

People who don't show up at meetings, I wouldn't want to get rid of them, but then there are those in hundreds of dollars of debt. They are the ones who we consider brothers, but we never actually see them.

Why would you not want to get rid of people who don't come to meetings?

Why would you not want to get rid of people who don't meet their financial obligations? Are they even trying to eliminate their debt? And you say you don't see them on top of it??

You're being too easy on people and it will only cause friction. Someone who comes to required meetings and functions and pays his dues on time shouldn't get treated the same as someone who doesn't. I know it's really hard when the group is so small to discipline people, but mark my words from experience -it will kill the chapter if you don't.

UofM-TKE · #6 02-09-2010, 09:38 PM

You haven't said if your chapter is fairly new or not. If you have been around for a while, have you tried to get your alumni involved. If you have lost touch with them, National will send you a list. If you have alumni, you need to get them involved.

If you haven't and you are a new chapter and with your small numbers, then you are essentially in the same position as a colony and you might consider rushing like a colony. I mean by this, that you might pledge upperclassmen as well as freshmen. Some older guys can add stability and campus connections to a house and since they will graduate soon, you get instant alumni and you can use them and the upperclassmen that you have now as the basis of your alumni chapter. Alumni supply experience, connections and MONEY.

Good luck

taukappaepsilon · #7 02-12-2010, 03:30 AM

We're about 40-50 years old but we lost the chapter and got it back 15 years or so ago. So newish and pretty much un-established compared to others on campus like ka, ato, sig nu/chi, and pka

We try not to kick people out because in the end they're our brothers, though I do see your point.

DrChase · #8 02-23-2010, 01:13 PM

imo, if they're not coming to meetings, they're showing they have no interest in being your brother. Tell them that's how it seems, and if they still don't put in an effort, cut the dead weight. Only keep truly committed, active brothers.

RaggedyAnn · #9 02-24-2010, 07:59 AM

Definitely reach out to your alumni for assistance, and please don't give me heck for this, maybe your local national volunteers? They are there to help you. You might also want to reach out to the other brothers in the area as well who may be able/willing to assist.