An Ancient Rush Story

[DaffyKD]

Keep in mind this story is ancient. I have been reading the messages from mothers about their special snowflakes regarding recruitment. I have not opened a new account under a new name so you know that my story is successful and which sorority I joined.

When I was in high school I was a VERY unpopular young lady. My mother did not believe things should change thus wanted life to continue exactly as it had when she went to school. She wanted me to dress like she did, follow the campus rules like they had such as sign in/out of the dorm accounting for presence, bed checks, etc. I was not allowed to wear popular styles because she didn’t. I had to deal with verbal abuse from her most of my life. When it came time to apply to colleges I made sure I applied to schools that were not local so I could get out of the house. She tried to manipulate me into staying home by letting me know she would buy me a car but if I went away to school I wouldn’t get a car. I still went away.

I grew up hearing every stereotype there was about the greek system— they were discriminatory and since I am Jewish there was no way I would be invited to join one, I was not popular and would not be invited to join, the girls in the chapters were all sluts who drank and slept with anyone who had a pulse. They were the high school mean girls who joined houses so they could continue their reign of terror, they were all super rich and every one of them were tall with long blond hair.

When the information was mailed to me regarding rush I immediately threw it in the trash. A few days later, Mom and I had another of our knock down, dragged out fights and I ended up locking my sister out of our room and contemplating running away. After a bit of time, the rush brochure started yelling, “look at me, look at me.” I pulled it out of the trash and read it. There was a paragraph that lifted me right up. It stated that one dorm would open a week early for the girls going through rush. If you dropped out of rush or were dropped after going to ALL the first day parties you could stay in that dorm until your dorm opened the following week. MY OUT! I talked to my dad and he told me to go through and he would pay for the expenses that week. He knew how unhappy I was at home. I knew I could tolerate “those girls” for one day, would drop out of rush and go to the beach everyday while everyone continued with rush.

Mom was far from enthusiastic when she was told of my plan to go through rush (leaving out the part about my dropping and going to the beach). She reminded me I was not popular enough for those girls, I was not pretty enough for those girls, my father was not a bank president, I am not tall, I don’t have blond hair, and I’m Jewish going through rush when there were no Jewish houses on campus.

Mom and Dad took me down to school and I moved into the dorm and started to feel free when they drove away after dinner. I met my roommate for the week and lo and behold she was tall with long blond hair. I knew she would pledge.

We had an orientation, broke into our rush groups were told where to assemble the next morning. First house we went to the girls were really nice, I had fun but I walked out the front door knowing every house was going to come across like that. I don’t have the notes for each of the houses but I know that no other house made me feel that good about my self. A few I immediately knew I did not fit and some of the others left me wanting to learn more.

2 other houses stood out to me that day. One house was a very strange situation. I’m not sure who took an instant dislike to the other first the rusher toward me or I toward her. Being that my mother was never in a house and she was the first in her family to go to college I was not prepared for rush and what were acceptable questions and what were not. The girl asked me what my “Daddy” did for a living. HMMMMM, I looked around and every girl looked just like her with their tall bodies, long blond hair and clothes that looked like they cost a zillion dollars. I thought to myself, I can make Dad a bank president or… I looked her straight in the face and told her my dad was the head garbage collector for our town. I watched her mouth fall down to the non-existent basement. I was wearing a large Jewish star. If you didn't accept Jewish girls in your house I was going to make things easy for you and flaunt it. She looked at my star and asked me if I was Jewish. I couldn’t believe that she was asking such an obvious question so I decided to give her a very non-obvious answer and told her, “no, I’m Buddhist.” Mouth fell further.

The other stand out house was the one where a “girl” who appeared to be about 30 was rushing me. There was a very strange vibe in the house which I could not understand. It was my last house and nothing felt like this.

At the end of the day, I returned to the dorm and decided I would stay in rush until morning so I could see if anyone invited me back. The talk in the dorm was all about the strange feel everyone felt at my last house.

Next morning I went to the rush counselors’ room and received my invitations. I was SHOCKED I had a full party schedule. Unfortunately for me I had the exact number of invites for the number of parties so I couldn’t decline any invitations and thus had to return to the house with the weird vibe. That first house invited me so I might as well stay in rush until they drop me which I was sure would happen as who wants a girl who is unpopular and not very pretty in their house.

The rest of the week went along fine. I still kept receiving invites to the first house so I kept rushing. About the 3rd or 4th day I had 1 invitation more than the number of parties I could attend so I could finally drop the house with the weird vibe. I was blown away that I had full party schedules every day.

On preference night I went to the 2 parties. The first house was my first party again. I knew that was the house I wanted. The second house was rushing me hard but I knew in my heart I did not want them. I felt bad since I knew I was taking time and space. I called my mother to ask her if I could break my dorm contract and move into the house if the first house gave me a bid. First words out of her mouth— “YOU ARE STILL IN RUSH?” Since sororities were going through a major time of upheaval, there were bed openings in almost every house so pledges were able to more in right away. The school encouraged the houses to take as many pledges as they could because the waiting list for the dorms was very long.

The next day I opened my bid and sure enough, I was invited back to my first choice! I am a Kappa Delta! In those days, I don’t know what other houses did about references, but KD mailed out the requests to the local Alumnae Associations as soon as they had the names of the girls going through rush. I had no idea what a reference was until my first rush on the other side, to this day I haven’t the slightest idea who wrote my reference. I just knew I had to follow my heart and loved that I was able to leave Mom out of the loop and make my own decisions. There were no cell phones, texting was not a word, all calls home were long distance calls and costly so I did not talk to her the entire week.

As for the house with the weird vibe… Unfortunately for them, they only had 3 active members. The first day was a panhellenic theme so each house loaned 2 girls to that house to help with rush and young chapter alumnae were asked to come back and rush. A few times they were short on young girls so had to use older alumnae. On bid day, they did not get any new pledges and the house closed by the end of the year.

DaffyKD

[Titchou]

Great story! I don't know about KD, but my group archives some of our paperwork that contains the name of our sponsor (we call them sponsor forms, not recs) so you might be able to find out who signed yours. It wouldn't hurt to ask KD HQ!

[FSUZeta]

I love your story DaffyKD, and am so glad that you found your home.

[KDCat]

2 other houses stood out to me that day. One house was a very strange situation. I’m not sure who took an instant dislike to the other first the rusher toward me or I toward her. Being that my mother was never in a house and she was the first in her family to go to college I was not prepared for rush and what were acceptable questions and what were not. The girl asked me what my “Daddy” did for a living. HMMMMM, I looked around and every girl looked just like her with their tall bodies, long blond hair and clothes that looked like they cost a zillion dollars. I thought to myself, I can make Dad a bank president or… I looked her straight in the face and told her my dad was the head garbage collector for our town. I watched her mouth fall down to the non-existent basement. I was wearing a large Jewish star. If you didn't accept Jewish girls in your house I was going to make things easy for you and flaunt it. She looked at my star and asked me if I was Jewish. I couldn’t believe that she was asking such an obvious question so I decided to give her a very non-obvious answer and told her, “no, I’m Buddhist.” Mouth fell further.

This made me laugh this morning. I needed it.

I am so glad that you are a KD!

[UWyoKD]

Thanks for sharing this! Though I've known you for years, I enjoyed reading the full story - and I'm quite happy that you became a KD!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Thanks so much for sharing your story!!! It is so honest and I'm glad you found your home.

Originally Posted by DaffyKD

As for the house with the weird vibe… Unfortunately for them, they only had 3 active members. The first day was a panhellenic theme so each house loaned 2 girls to that house to help with rush and young chapter alumnae were asked to come back and rush.