Baby Daddy/New Girlfriend

PrettySqueaky · #1 02-07-2001, 12:50 AM

How would you feel if the guy you was dating had a child with another woman? Mind you he and this woman are very friendly with each other. Because his child lives out of town he usually spends weekends at the mothers.

Would you be willing to date a guy if he told you upfront that he still sees his baby mother but nothing serious? Or would you let it go because in the long run, you think they might work it out?

Also, before you became serious he said you had to meet his baby's mother to see if you met her approval?

Also can be look at as if you were the baby's momma. How would you feel if he had a girl?

I was talking to my friend this weekend and he cursed me out...because I said no matter what I would always love my child's father because he give me little man. My friend cursed me out and said if I told the average n@gga that, they would think we would still having sex together.

I'm just trying to figure out why so many people have a problem understanding when parents remain friends even when they are no longer together. A lot of friends have little if any contact with their child's father and hate on me because my relationship isn't full of hate like theirs.

Just wondering if anybody has had any experience with baby daddy/mommy

Chi_ZETABBW · #2 02-07-2001, 07:29 AM

Sisterfriend: Maybe you were typing fast, but I barely understood your question. What I could make of it, is that you feel people are hating on you because of your "LOVE" for your childs father. Well I'm not hating on you, for the child's sake I think it's great that you two have remained friends and get along. But if that "LOVE" you have for him, keeps you from loving another, or keeps getting in the way of you having a healthy relationship with another then you are setting yourself up for problems. I believe parents need a working relationship, but all this getting approval of a new mate from an "EX" is ridiculous. Alot of women use their kids to sabatoage any relationship the baby's daddy might have. They use their own children as pawns. I don't blame your friend from being upset to hear you say, "I'll always love my son's father." That was very disrespectful to say in front of him.
Just my 2 cents.

BlueReign · #3 02-07-2001, 12:12 PM

Ditto that. But not only that, it is disrespectful for the Dad to spend weekends with the mother when he is supposed to have a relationship with someone else.

blu_theatrics · #4 02-07-2001, 05:54 PM

Amen to you soror,

I agree fully, you don't stay at any womens house like that you are completely disresepcting the relationship

EspeRHO · #5 02-07-2001, 06:48 PM

Preach on ladies.

Esperho Fall '00

PrettySqueaky · #6 02-07-2001, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chi_ZETABBW:
Sisterfriend: Maybe you were typing fast, but I barely understood your question.

No I was throwing out a lot of questions in general about baby daddies/relationships. Some of my friends are involved in the above situations...and I was just saying how my child's father and I are still close and people hate on that.

But if that "LOVE" you have for him, keeps you from loving another, or keeps getting in the way of you having a healthy relationship with another then you are setting yourself up for problems. I believe parents need a working relationship, but all this getting approval of a new mate from an "EX" is ridiculous. Alot of women use their kids to sabatoage any relationship the baby's daddy might have. They use their own children as pawns. I don't blame your friend from being upset to hear you say, "I'll always love my son's father." That was very disrespectful to say in front of him.
Just my 2 cents.[/B]

[i]And Goodness no my love for him doesn't stand in the way of future relationships or did it degrade with past relationships. And the friend I was referring to was a friend..Nothing more nothing less. But he just gets pissed off.

And yes I will always love my child's father...because he gave me my child. What's that movie with George Clooney and Sharon Stone. The little boy asked his divorced mother did she still love his father...and she replied "yes because he gave me you." and that's how I feel about him.

It's just that I see so many people that have children but they hate that child's mother or father.

MIDWESTDIVA · #7 02-07-2001, 09:30 PM

Originally posted by PrettySqueaky:
How would you feel if the guy you was dating had a child with another woman? Mind you he and this woman are very friendly with each other. Because his child lives out of town he usually spends weekends at the mothers.

Would you be willing to date a guy if he told you upfront that he still sees his baby mother but nothing serious?

NO.

Also, before you became serious he said you had to meet his baby's mother to see if you met her approval?

Hell no.

Also can be look at as if you were the baby's momma. How would you feel if he had a girl?

If I were in that situation, I think I would be too busy worrying about me and mine to be worrying about him and his.

I was talking to my friend this weekend and he cursed me out...because I said no matter what I would always love my child's father because he give me little man. My friend cursed me out and said if I told the average n@gga that, they would think we would still having sex together.

I don't share the spotlight. If a man has a problem with that, he can be replaced.

prettypoodle6 · #8 02-09-2001, 07:53 PM

i pretty much agree with everything that's been said thus far!

the question was asked had anyone had an experience with a baby daddy/momma... a few years back i dated someone who had a child and i learned alot about myself (what i like and dont, and what i will tolerate in a relationship). not that things were negative, but it was a learning experience.

------------------

Rhoyal Blue and Gold...I LOVE my SGRho!

[This message has been edited by prettypoodle6 (edited February 09, 2001).]

Tinese · #9 02-13-2001, 07:18 PM

Hey sorhoros! I was just browsing through and I had to respond to this topic. I coming from the perspective of a baby's momma. First, I think that its important to have a cordial relationship with the baby's daddy for the sake of the child. But spending the weekends over the baby's momma's house is ridiculous as well as the new girlfriend getting the approval of the baby's momma's. My advice to the girl in this situation is to move on and find someone else.

The only part that I could see as far as baby's daddy's or momma's in relationships with someone else is not to have to many partners around their child, because that causes to many problems example, child could get attached to John or sue then things don't work out another man or women is in the picture. My point is this, as long as the other woman respects the child and not try to come between the father or his child then there shouldn't be any problem.

seeing it in 22 ways.

Tinese
Zeta Nu Sigma Alumnae Chapter Boston, MA

lil_sunshine · #10 01-05-2002, 07:16 PM

Having been there and done that, I've been with three different guys and they all have children (with two of them, I've never met the kids; it wasn't necessary). My ex and his daughter's mother didn't have a relationship at all in the beginning b/c she didn't wanna deal with him. After almost a year, she felt guilty about him not knowing he had a daughter and she decided to introduce the two of them. At first she and I were cool, but later our "friendship" soured mainly b/c he acted funny (I don't wanna get into details).

My current bf has two kids, a son and daughter. His son lives in his neighborhood, but his daughter lives in Minnesota. I encouraged him to go visit her for Christmas, which was also his birthday. He did go (by bus) and they enjoyed their time together. He wants to go back and visit again soon and bring his son with him once he saves up plane fare for the two of them.

Lauren80 · #11 01-06-2002, 01:45 AM

Me personally, I would not date this man if he told me up front that he had a child (just one of my no-nos in dating). Having a child is a lot of responsibility for him and maybe for you in the future (you never know) . If you guys get serious, it may be like a ready made family if the child has to come live with him for some reason. While I applaud him that he is a stand up father, it is not the wisest move to mess with a man who has a child. (I also applaud him for telling you up front...because some men don't -- at least that's what I've seen from my friends' expereinces)

Just a sisterfriend's opinion

SeriousSigma22 · #12 01-06-2002, 04:50 PM

Sorors and Sisterfriends,

Now the issue of the BabyDaddy/New Girlfriend is too much drama for me and I would say to anyone don't get caught up in that Babydaddy or Babymomma drama! I don't have the time or energy to waste on such trival matters.

Serioussigma22

TRSimon · #13 01-08-2002, 06:04 PM

I dated a man who had a child ONCE . I really did my best with both the man and the child (and the drama), but if I knew then what I know now, I would have shaken his hand, and said, "Don't call me, I'll call you. Have a nice life."

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

kizzie22 · #14 01-08-2002, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TRSimon
I dated a man who had a child ONCE . I really did my best with both the man and the child and the drama, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have shaken his hand, and said, "Don't call me, I'll call you. Have a nice life."

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Ditto SoRHor!!!!! I was also in a situation similar to yours but he had the Brandy Bunch.... He lied and told me he had TWO kids and he had FOUR...I quickly got out of that hot mess...

TRSimon · #15 01-08-2002, 06:57 PM

Not the Brady's!!! LOLOL!!!! See, now that's the kind of thing that makes you change your number (and your locks) without telling folks!!!!