not just a bad reputation..no respect!

hairbrush390 · #1 04-12-2009, 10:14 PM

hi! I am in a sorority at a large school. I love the girls, that's why i pledged. However, not only do we have a bad reputation ("not fun" and "ugly"), but it seems that we get no respect. I understand that sorority "tiers" are typically made by people who have a LOT of time on their hands, but I can't help but feel that people are affected by the rumors, and listen to them. In reality, most of us are a lot of fun and pretty. I don't know what to do to change our reputation, and most importantly, get more respect on campus. I don't mind that "top tier" fraternities don't want to pair with us for things, as long as we are recognized as a legitimate group of girls.

any advice for us? thanks in advance

KSUViolet06 · #2 04-12-2009, 10:21 PM

If you know who you really are, then why do you concern yourself with what people think you are?

I only ask this question, because really, tiers and reputations are quite subjective and are based on opinions.

Just continue to be involved on campus and be sure to participate in other chapters' events, and meet people, the more people in other orgs know your girls from doing good things on campus and in the Greek community, the more people will have good things to say about you.

At the end of the day though, YOU legitimize yourselves. Other chapters' opinions don't make you any more or less "legitimate."

33girl · #3 04-12-2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairbrush390

hi! I am in a sorority at a large school. I love the girls, that's why i pledged. However, not only do we have a bad reputation ("not fun" and "ugly"), but it seems that we get no respect. I understand that sorority "tiers" are typically made by people who have a LOT of time on their hands, but I can't help but feel that people are affected by the rumors, and listen to them. In reality, most of us are a lot of fun and pretty. I don't know what to do to change our reputation, and most importantly, get more respect on campus. I don't mind that "top tier" fraternities don't want to pair with us for things, as long as we are recognized as a legitimate group of girls.

any advice for us? thanks in advance

I gather that you are members of the Panhellenic council, partcipate in formal rush, take pledge classes when all the other sororities take pledge classes, and have the same type of housing. I don't know what else you want to be considered "legitimate." If the attentions of men made a sorority legitimate, all the chapters at womens' colleges wouldn't be legitimate. If being top tier made you legitimate, any sorority who is the lone sorority at a campus would not be legitimate (as they are top, middle, and bottom tier all rolled into one).

Let me rephrase: the word you want is "popular."

If most of you are fun and pretty, get out there and be fun and pretty. If you really are as awesome as you say you are, people will eventually get it.

ETA: you've been in your sorority (and a member of your school's Greek system) for just a little over 2 months. Be a part of that system for a while and find people whom you really respect, and listen to what THEY say - not just any random campus gossip.

sinfonian19 · #4 04-13-2009, 02:17 AM

Attend campus functions as an organization (that is if you don't already) at the beginning of the year try to throw functions and venues more geared towards freshmen and new students at the school. Often times juniors/seniors are already set in their ways but if you can pull students in earlier in their school years you plant seeds

hairbrush390 · #5 04-20-2009, 12:37 PM

i guess the word i am looking for is "popular"...but more along the lines of being well-respected by other sororities and fraternities than socializing with "good" fraternities.

we have a lot of internal problems, which is why i think we have so much trouble representing ourselves externally.

RaggedyAnn · #6 04-20-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairbrush390

we have a lot of internal problems, which is why i think we have so much trouble representing ourselves externally.

We actually had an unwritten but said in chapter rule that if we were walking by a sister in public, we said hi-even if you were fighting. There is a lot to be said about keeping the drama behind closed doors. It also help dissipate a lot of the drama as well, because it's hard to stay mad when you are forced to communicate with each other.

JohnnyCash · #7 04-20-2009, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairbrush390

we have a lot of internal problems, which is why i think we have so much trouble representing ourselves externally.

This may be the root of the problem. Once your chapter starts "getting its shit together," then things will get better.

But if you belong to one of those chapters full of girls that KNOW they're not top tier and don't care about it, then there may not be much you can do.

If you're the only one who cares about not having a good reputation and the rest of your sisters are fine with who they are/their reputation on campus, then you're pretty much s.o.l.

33girl · #8 04-21-2009, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyCash

This may be the root of the problem. Once your chapter starts "getting its shit together," then things will get better.

But if you belong to one of those chapters full of girls that KNOW they're not top tier and don't care about it, then there may not be much you can do.

If you're the only one who cares about not having a good reputation and the rest of your sisters are fine with who they are/their reputation on campus, then you're pretty much s.o.l.

Johnny Cash, you are the man. This is it exactly.

Like I said - you've been a member for 2.5 seconds and no one is going to cotton to you saying that you need to fix your rep, even if they agree with you. Just like in any group or relationship, you need to stand back and listen and learn a bit before offering up all your opinions.

There are chapter where the sisters really don't like each other at all, and then there are others where they "fight as hard as they love and love as hard as they fight." Again, you need to stand back and listen and learn a bit where this is concerned.

hairbrush390 · #9 04-23-2009, 09:01 PM

johnnycash- i think you are right. a lot of the newer girls are very motivated to change, but the older girls are the ones who are at the root of the problem (NOT to throw anyone under the bus, but its pretty much understood that it is this way)
33girl- i think you are right also. i dont want to step in RIGHT NOW and start changing things...ive been in situations where ive been the senior and a new person comes in and wants to revamp...it doesnt ever work well. i have been observing things, and i have learned from some of the older girls that a lot of our internal troubles started a few years ago.

i am really just looking for advice for the future..i hope to hold some type of position in the sorority in a couple of years and i would really just like to get us back on the right track. as i said, the newer girls recognize our rep and want to change it but we cant do too much right now. but i dont want to hit the bottom before we can start working our way back up!

Penguin08 · #10 07-02-2009, 09:16 PM

I'm sorry to hear of your problems, but if the older girls don't want to participate in being fun, let them. Let the younger girls that are about to take over one day build better relations with everyone else on your campus

Plus when the older girls see how much better are being treated they might want to join in on the fun.

minDyG · #11 07-03-2009, 02:21 AM

If the problem is causing your numbers to be low recruitment season after recruitment season, then your I/nat'l HQ might be willing to get involved to help you out. The sustainability of a chapter is really important, and I would assume that shelling out some extra resources to help revamp a chapter would be more appealing to any HQ or alumnae support network than the risk of that chapter closing.

Do your sisters regularly participate in other GLO's philanthropy events? Do you have any requirements for outside activities, other than just your sorority? Do you have fun, successful philanthropy events of your own which showcase the talents of the ladies in your org? Does your leadership remind your sisters frequently to wear their letters to class--but to always look their best while sporting letters? Do you do cutesy, fun things for other organizations that don't necessarily have any philanthropic value, such as delivering Valentines to all the fraternities, passing out candy on Halloween, or selecting one other sorority per month to have a movie night with?

Hope some of this was helpful.

ETA: I didn't realize this was an old thread but more than likely the problems are still in place since it's only a few months old.

Jaffalove · #12 07-03-2009, 12:40 PM

I know how you feel. I'm a member of AEΦ and we have been at Jacksonville University for 25 years now and in that time we have been called "AEHIGH" "AEFAT" "AEFOOD".. among other things. But now people see us and our letters and associate us with women who are active not only within greek life but throughout the whole campus. My advice is to just get your letters out there, it may not be easy at first but if you continue to put yourselves out there people will begin to get to know you and in turn repect you.

sdeason1 · #13 07-03-2009, 01:43 PM

so, if you are a viable sorority and you are getting new members, you will soon have the strength to vote out the old and get in the new to change this hopefully sooner than later. it sounds like the good old we do it our way and we have been doing it forever. it doesn't seem to be working according to you. time for a coup is it not? you vote on officers, it is not a given right to be one. start working on getting a bloc for voting new ones in. good luck.

KSUViolet06 · #14 07-03-2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdeason1

so, if you are a viable sorority and you are getting new members, you will soon have the strength to vote out the old and get in the new to change this hopefully sooner than later. it sounds like the good old we do it our way and we have been doing it forever. it doesn't seem to be working according to you. time for a coup is it not? you vote on officers, it is not a given right to be one. start working on getting a bloc for voting new ones in. good luck.

Tom, you're not even IN a sorority!

VUG1 · #15 07-03-2009, 02:05 PM

You guys need to do something for the community, really put your selves out there as a good people.