Question about being a legacy

[TailRider64]

Hi everyone! 2nd post on here.

So I'm sure this same question or an extremely similar one has been asked on here before, but I just figured I'd make my own thread in case I had any other related questions that I thought of.

So this weekend I am supposed to attend a rush party/event at a fraternity. This is the same fraternity and chapter that my dad was a part of when he attended the same university about 30 years ago. Obviously I would be considered a legacy, but I was wondering what would be some good ways to make that clear? Is it ok to just come out and say it when I'm talking to the rush chair or should I wait and give it some time before I tell them? Would it be acceptable to use this as a conversation starter?

Sorry if I may sound naive but I'm just not really sure what the best way is to go about this. Because on one hand I definitely don't want to come across as some stuck up prick who just expects a bid to get handed to him but at the same time I'd want them to know I was a legacy.

Thanks in advance for the answers!

[AlphaFrog]

Should be very easy to work into a conversation, especially as an in-house (from the same university) legacy. "I was really looking forward to attending this party, since my dad had such a great time as an XYZ at State U back in his day".

Also, sororities usually have a spot for it on their form, I would assume most fraternities would as well. Good luck.

[ThetaPrincess24]

I realize references may not be as big of a deal with fraternities in most places like they can be with sororities BUT, why can't your father fill out a reference form, state that on the form, and then send it to the chapter??

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

I realize references may not be as big of a deal with fraternities in most places like they can be with sororities BUT, why can't your father fill out a reference form, state that on the form, and then send it to the chapter??

Generally speaking, there is no such thing as a rec in fraternity recruitment. That being said, maybe the OP can have his dad call the chapter's rush chair and mention his son is rushing. Or like has been said before, there are many ways to work it in without sounding arrogant or entitled.

[Sciencewoman]

Fraternity men...would it be weird to ask if a composite from the OP's dad's era is hanging up? Looking at his picture on an old composite could be a fun conversation starter (because I'd actually, really like to see it if I was the OP).

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Generally speaking, there is no such thing as a rec in fraternity recruitment. That being said, maybe the OP can have his dad call the chapter's rush chair and mention his son is rushing. Or like has been said before, there are many ways to work it in without sounding arrogant or entitled.

Although this isn't necessarily my lane, when I recently visited a bunch of NIC member websites (when I bumped the thread about notable African American members of non-NPHC social fraternities), I saw more than a few orgs had forms to at least notify chapters of young men coming their way. It may not be a rec, but it was definitely a referral.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge

Although this isn't necessarily my lane, when I recently visited a bunch of NIC member websites (when I bumped the thread about notable African American members of non-NPHC social fraternities), I saw more than a few orgs had forms to at least notify chapters of young men coming their way. It may not be a rec, but it was definitely a referral.

Thanks for the correction Sen. The ones I am aware of didn't, but I shouldn't have generalized.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge

Although this isn't necessarily my lane, when I recently visited a bunch of NIC member websites (when I bumped the thread about notable African American members of non-NPHC social fraternities), I saw more than a few orgs had forms to at least notify chapters of young men coming their way. It may not be a rec, but it was definitely a referral.

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Thanks for the correction Sen. The ones I am aware of didn't, but I shouldn't have generalized.

I’ve seen a few on line forms as well. What I recall is that they seemed to more along the lines of what Sen noted – an “introduction” more than a recommendation. But some included a check box that said “would you recommend this man for membership”.

I also remember seeing at least one form that asked if the person filling it out was a member of the fraternity. My take is that the form could be used as an introduction by someone not associated with the fraternity. I thought that was pretty cool.

Originally Posted by TailRider64

So this weekend I am supposed to attend a rush party/event at a fraternity. This is the same fraternity and chapter that my dad was a part of when he attended the same university about 30 years ago. Obviously I would be considered a legacy, but I was wondering what would be some good ways to make that clear? Is it ok to just come out and say it when I'm talking to the rush chair or should I wait and give it some time before I tell them? Would it be acceptable to use this as a conversation starter?

Sorry if I may sound naive but I'm just not really sure what the best way is to go about this. Because on one hand I definitely don't want to come across as some stuck up prick who just expects a bid to get handed to him but at the same time I'd want them to know I was a legacy.

Thanks in advance for the answers!

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Should be very easy to work into a conversation, especially as an in-house (from the same university) legacy. "I was really looking forward to attending this party, since my dad had such a great time as an XYZ at State U back in his day".

This ^^^.

Or you may be asked why your are rushing and then you have an opening to let them know you are a legacy. "My Dad joined XYZ here at Sate U and had a great time..."

And don't be surprised if they already know you are an in-house legacy if your college has some sort of on-line registration.

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Fraternity men...would it be weird to ask if a composite from the OP's dad's era is hanging up? Looking at his picture on an old composite could be a fun conversation starter (because I'd actually, really like to see it if I was the OP).

I don't think so at all. And it would be a great conversation starter. I think it lets the fraternity know he is a legacy and intrested in chapter history.

[TailRider64]

Thanks for the responses guys (and gals).

And yeah Steven, when I registered with the university's (Alabama) IFC earlier this summer it asked what legacies I had to which fraternities. I filled it out though it was never mentioned in the conversations I had with the rush chair.

I don't think my dad's chapter has any sort of recommendation form or anything like that on their website.

As it pertains to his composite I have seen it before as he taken me through the house in the past but I forget exactly where it is. I'll definitely want to find it again.

[Sciencewoman]

I think you've got a great intro right there...you've been in the house before and you've seen his composite? That's a natural way to bring up your legacy status.

(Please come back and tell us where you joined. We hardly ever get any good fraternity recruitment stories.)

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I think you've got a great intro right there...you've been in the house before and you've seen his composite? That's a natural way to bring up your legacy status.

(Please come back and tell us where you joined. We hardly ever get any good fraternity recruitment stories.)

I so agree with Sciencewoman on this. It lets the chapter know that not only are you a legacy, but that also, your Dad took the time to show you "his fraternity" (i.e. the house, the composite etc.). At Alabama, history and tradition matters.

For what it is worth, some chapters have to rotate composites depending on how many they may be able to display at any given time. As such, some chapters may only hang older composites during specific class reunions or homecomings. So it is possible that none of the composites from when your Dad was there may be displayed. However, you can certainly mention that you have seen it before etc.