COB question - Is this a thing?

[jessyallison]

I'm sorry if this is long, but I'm just not sure what kind of advice to give my daughter. She is a sophomore at a medium-size state school and had an unsuccessful virtual rush this semester. She is not sure what went wrong, but she was released from all the chapters before pref round. She's been really sad about the whole situation because with COVID it is so hard to meet people and most of her friends either did not come back to campus this semester or are involved with their sororities. I told her not to dwell on this too much because we would never really know what happened and maybe the zoom format was just not optimal for her.

When the school decided to have virtual recruitment, they cut it down from 4 rounds to 3. So the cuts were harsh the first round. She found out later that most of the sororities did not make quota. Her Rho Gamma advised her that some of the groups would be doing COB because they did not make quota.

She has a good friend in one of the sororities that was doing COB and she let both the friend and her Rho Gamma know that she was insterested in COB, but the sorority sent a message through the Rho Gamma that the could not offer her a bid because they cut her in the first round and their national sorority has a rule against offering bids to anyone that they have ever cut during a previous round or recruitment. She was dissappointed but said that she did not want to give up hope because some of the other sororities would also be doing COB.

Now there is another sorority where several of her very close friends are sisters which announced that they would be doing COB. Her friends told her that they let the sister in charge of recruitment know that she was interested and that her name has been put on a list. This was over a week ago. One of the friends asked her today if anyone has contacted her and she said no. The friend said that maybe they also had a national rule about not extending bids during COB to girls who were cut earlier from recruitment. She's not sure what to do now. With COVID there are no official COB events, everything seems to be through word of mouth. She doesn't know if she should try to reach out directly to the sister in charge of recruitment to find out if she could be considered for COB or just let it go.

I'm not super familiar with COB rules - I rushed back in the 90s at a small college up north and I know that things are different now, but I never heard of this rule with my sorority, which is Delta Phi Epsilon. Is this a thing? That if you are cut from recruitment, you can never be offered a bid even the following semester / year?

I'm also just sad for her. I've always told her and her friends to have faith in the system and that there is a place for everyone. She went in with a super open mind and a great attitude, but it just didn't work out for her. My sorority experience was wonderful and she always hoped to be in a sorority too.

[Titchou]

I know that some chapters have a rule about this. She should call the Greek Life office and talk with the Sorority adviser. Often there is a central list and she will know whether or not there is and also which groups are doing COB...and what their schedules are.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by jessyallison

I'm sorry if this is long, but I'm just not sure what kind of advice to give my daughter. She is a sophomore at a medium-size state school and had an unsuccessful virtual rush this semester. She is not sure what went wrong, but she was released from all the chapters before pref round. She's been really sad about the whole situation because with COVID it is so hard to meet people and most of her friends either did not come back to campus this semester or are involved with their sororities. I told her not to dwell on this too much because we would never really know what happened and maybe the zoom format was just not optimal for her.

When the school decided to have virtual recruitment, they cut it down from 4 rounds to 3. So the cuts were harsh the first round. She found out later that most of the sororities did not make quota. Her Rho Gamma advised her that some of the groups would be doing COB because they did not make quota.

She has a good friend in one of the sororities that was doing COB and she let both the friend and her Rho Gamma know that she was insterested in COB, but the sorority sent a message through the Rho Gamma that the could not offer her a bid because they cut her in the first round and their national sorority has a rule against offering bids to anyone that they have ever cut during a previous round or recruitment. She was dissappointed but said that she did not want to give up hope because some of the other sororities would also be doing COB.

Now there is another sorority where several of her very close friends are sisters which announced that they would be doing COB. Her friends told her that they let the sister in charge of recruitment know that she was interested and that her name has been put on a list. This was over a week ago. One of the friends asked her today if anyone has contacted her and she said no. The friend said that maybe they also had a national rule about not extending bids during COB to girls who were cut earlier from recruitment. She's not sure what to do now. With COVID there are no official COB events, everything seems to be through word of mouth. She doesn't know if she should try to reach out directly to the sister in charge of recruitment to find out if she could be considered for COB or just let it go.

I'm not super familiar with COB rules - I rushed back in the 90s at a small college up north and I know that things are different now, but I never heard of this rule with my sorority, which is Delta Phi Epsilon. Is this a thing? That if you are cut from recruitment, you can never be offered a bid even the following semester / year?

I'm also just sad for her. I've always told her and her friends to have faith in the system and that there is a place for everyone. She went in with a super open mind and a great attitude, but it just didn't work out for her. My sorority experience was wonderful and she always hoped to be in a sorority too.

I'm not super familiar with the reason a pnm would be told she can't become a new member for any specific sorority if that specific sorority has a rule against offfering a bid to a student who has been previously cut during recruitment. That would be membership selection information, which ought to have stayed in-house and never told to your daughter no matter how disappointed she was with her recruitment result. Are you sure she's telling you the truth about her situation?

[carnation]

Every once in a while, this crops up. I don't know of any sororities that have that specific rule but I know some that have pledged girls they cut before and got some real jewels who had just been overlooked.

That rule would be self defeating with all the cuts that big or middle-sized sororities have to make! Often, they don't even know a lot of the girls they cut--which was the only reason they cut them. They could be wonderful members!

[jessyallison]

Originally Posted by Cheerio

I'm not super familiar with the reason a pnm would be told she can't become a new member for any specific sorority if that specific sorority has a rule against offfering a bid to a student who has been previously cut during recruitment. That would be membership selection information, which ought to have stayed in-house and never told to your daughter no matter how disappointed she was with her recruitment result. Are you sure she's telling you the truth about her situation?

I was surprised by this as well. This was told to her first by her friend in the sorority and then verified by her Rho Gamma. Her Rho Gamma wanted to make sure that the sorority knew that my daughter did not sign a bid card fora different sorority, which she did not since she did not make it to pref round. So her Rho Gamma spoke with the sister in charge of recruitment for the sorority and was told that per nationals they could not ever offer a bid to someone who had been previously cut. The Rho Gamma then relayed this infomation to my daughter.

[33girl]

This might be an unwritten chapter rule that over time has morphed in the minds of its members into a national policy. EVERY national group has chapters that may have to - or want to - go back and bid girls they previously cut.

Long story short, she needs to just forget about these two groups and keep looking into the others that didn’t make quota. I’m sure her friends meant well, but if they are sophomores too this is their first formal rush and they probably aren’t acquainted with all the ins and outs and rules and politics. Please impress on her that what is right for them might not be right for her.

[carnation]

You know what? It's highly unlikely that a national HQ would know that you bid a girl whom you cut last year. Nobody keeps a record of who they cut.

[Sister Havana]

Originally Posted by carnation

Every once in a while, this crops up. I don't know of any sororities that have that specific rule but I know some that have pledged girls they cut before and got some real jewels who had just been overlooked.

That rule would be self defeating with all the cuts that big or middle-sized sororities have to make! Often, they don't even know a lot of the girls they cut--which was the only reason they cut them. They could be wonderful members!

All of this!

[FSUZeta]

Did your daughter contact the Panhellenic officer herself and ask to be included on the COB interest list? If not, she should do so, and if it doesn't work out for her this semester, then contact that office again in January. Rho Gammas, while I'm sure mean well, may not always understand the nuances of COB and may forget to pass on interested PNMs names to the office.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Did your daughter contact the Panhellenic officer herself and asked to be included on the COB interest list? If not, she should do so, and if it doesn't work out for her this semester, then contact that office again in January. Rho Gammas, while I'm sure mean well, may not always understand the nuances of COB and may forget to pass on interested PNMs names to the office.

This!

[flirt5721]

That's strange. Many PNMs that were cut during formal have been COBed and become great members to all chapter on the campus I advise. I have never heard of this rule and I know nationally that is not something for our chapters.

But definitely have your daughter contact the Greek Life office and let them know she is interested in COB. She can also be on the look out for COB events the chapters are hosting.

[TXDG]

There are multiple sororities on multiple campuses in my state who follow a “once cut, always cut” rule. Whether it’s an actual national policy or one these chapters have made “tradition” it definitely exists and many PNMs who withdraw their freshmen year hoping to get a bid the following year are surprised when they are cut after Open House their sophomore years.

As for what your DD should do, the best way to navigate COB is to let the campus Greek Life advisor / Panhellenic advisor know that she is interested in COB and to please share her contact info with any eligible chapters. Friends can be helpful but also sometimes not as much pull as you would think - especially if friends are sophomores. If the advisor will share which chapters are eligible for COB, it also is a nice idea to make sure she had a rec for each chapter. If she didn’t for formal, Recs are a great way to introduce a pnm to the chapter who may have been overlooked during rush.

And my #1 advice, always, for upperclassmen : keep your GPA up!!

[BlueBayou]

You don't mention grades. Frequently that is a major factor in round one cuts. Is she following all the sororities on Instagram? That is where my daughter's sorority (A few years old and just graduated their founding members- so they still COB each semester) posts their COB event info. I know many sororities are not as public about their COB events - but some are.

[jessyallison]

I have an update! After last semester's Recruitment did not work out for my daughter, she spent time really focusing on school and volunteering - pretty much moving on.

Then at the beginning of this semester, she told me that she was going to attend a panhellenic COB event with all the sororities (she is so much braver than I ever have been!) Well, she had a fantastic COB experience and made some really amazing connections. Long story short, she is now a DELTA GAMMA and she could not be happier!

I am so grateful to all the women who gave me advice last semester. Thank you!

[honeychile]

So happy for jessyallison Junior! Congratulations to her and Delta Gamma!