Second Choice?

[SkeeWee14]

Hi Sorors,
I was approached today by another soror who told me of a young lady who is now interested in joining our organization. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having interest in the organization, but this young lady was just rejected by another sorority this semester. I know this personally because my bestfriend is a member of that other sorority. Anyway, she made the comment that she should have made the right choice in the beginning. Apparently the majority of her family are AKA's and she just wanted to be different. She said that she really like our sorority and wants to become a memeber. I don't know if the "change of heart" came from her being rejected or if she is feeling the strength and the unity that we possess on our campus. I'm proud to say that we came out very strong this year and the unity we have with one another is strong and it does show. Anyway, I was wondering what you all thought about this situation. Is it fair to frown on young ladies who are interested in AKA after being rejected by another sorority? I'm really having mixed emotions about this one since the young lady just happens to be an acquaintance of mine and I know that she is a good person. Confused, but good. What's you're opinion?

[LikeASista]

Well, I'll be glad to share with you a sticky situation I'm involved in like that as we speak. I had a friend whom I thought was very close to me. We both talked about AKA for months and months (make that years), we dreamed of the day we could step over that line. We went to every function, tried to get to know as many people as we could, and everything else you do when you pursue a sorority. However, question marks began flying when I discovered that she had done some things in undergraduate school regarding both Delta and AKA. Needless to say, she never made it into either one of them. I guess she felt those things were behind her because at this point, our eyes were on AKA grad chapters only. We made a pact that if one of us crossed AKA before the other one, we would let the other ride in on our coattail the next time. Well, during 1998, we had it "in the pocket." We both had sponsors for AKA, we knew everybody we could meet, so I relaxed in that realization. But during Christmas of '98, someone approached her about in-take for a specific sorority. Now look. If you KNOW you want to be one thing, why would you even stutter if another organization came your way? This girl believed the women and actually tried to pursue them, just because someone said, "We're having rush. Are you interested?" Well, to make a long story short, she got rejected, and I crossed for AKA 17 days ago. Now, I get calls galore from her begging me to help her get into AKA. I have not forgotten about the things we talked about, and the dreams we shared. I also have not forgotten the pact we made, which is what makes all this so difficult for me. There are more things involved as well that weigh on making a decision about this. I am still upset with her for trying to pursue another route just because someone offered. It doesn't mean you're a shoe-in for that organization just because you're approached. For one to act on a mere offer only says that individual is undecided, and I don't think that's something my sorors have time for.

[LadyAKA]

LikeASista this seems tragic to say the least. On the one hand you ladies made a promise to eachother but on the other this girl has straight out played AKA, and I would even go so far as to say she put your friendship on the line! Not only do we (Sorors) NOT have time for this but do 'YOU' have time for a person like this? Is she all about Alpha Kappa Alpha or is she just about being in a Greek Organization? I know it is gonna be tough for you but you need to think real long and hard about what you need to do. Remember Alpha Kappa Alpha is a serious matter. And stuff like this should not go on! I am sorry if I came off in the wrong way but I am real passionate about this! Oh and you must remember as I am sure you are aware of, it is the majority vote that counts in Grad chapter you may be a Soror, but she is not a shoe in yet, especially if another Soror in your chapter gets wind of this information.

P.S. SkeeWee14 The situation you encountered is also a tough one. I am not sure what I would say or do if I was thrown in the position. I always knew AKA was in my heart, I admit I went to other informationals when they had those (now-a-days it is all about rush); anyway, I had to make sure I was making the right choice, but I never flip-flopped back and forth and that type of thing can ruin your sorority life! I guess you have to try and see if she is genuine or if she again just wants to be down!

Maybe these ladies need 'tuff luv' make them understand they can't everything they want if they don't come correct the first time....... sorry

LadyAKA
Just giving my '08 cents of sisterly advice

[This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited April 26, 2000).]

[LikeASista]

LadyAKA, I feel you, Soror. No offense taken. This girl not only tried to play AKA, but she is presently trying to play ME. That's why the beginning of my post stated "I had a friend whom I THOUGHT was very close to me." It turns out, she's got this OTHER friend who is in the OTHER sorority that she hangs with. This was news to me, because whenever she's with me, she speaks against the girl as if she dislikes her. One of my sorors told me that those girls were very close, which was why she tried to go the other route in the first place. She obviously wanted to be where ever this friend of hers was. It seems to be no more than a case of "When I'm with you, I wanna be AKA. When I'm with her, I wanna be [insert sorority here]," basically. When I confronted her about it, she claimed she is not close to her at all and that she doesn't even like her and all this childish goofey kid stuff. I explained to her that I did not like the feeling of being used, and that I would NOT be used under any circumstances. Now, she calls me often just to tell me that she met so and so from my chapter and she promised to help her get in. Typical.

[LikeASista]

LadyAKA, I feel you, Soror. No offense taken. This girl not only tried to play AKA, but she is presently trying to play ME. That's why the beginning of my post stated "I had a friend whom I THOUGHT was very close to me." It turns out, she's got this OTHER friend who is in the OTHER sorority that she hangs with. This was news to me, because whenever she's with me, she speaks against the girl as if she dislikes her. One of my sorors told me that those girls were very close, which was why she tried to go the other route in the first place. She obviously wanted to be where ever this friend of hers was. It seems to be no more than a case of "When I'm with you, I wanna be AKA. When I'm with her, I wanna be [insert sorority here]," basically. When I confronted her about it, she claimed she is not close to her at all and that she doesn't even like her and all this childish goofey kid stuff. I explained to her that I did not like the feeling of being used, and that I would NOT be used under any circumstances. Now, she calls me often just to tell me that she met so and so from my chapter and she promised to help her get in. Typical.

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No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth.

[LikeASista]

Sorry about the double post. I was trying to change the icon and add my signature.

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No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth.

[pink bunny]

LikeaSista and SkeeWee14 Oh No, i hope you two realize that your so called friends just want to be GREEK. I can understand a freshman or 2nd year who is just learning about the sororities to have two possible interests, but it should not take long to make a decision about which one is the right one for you. And especially if you already attended a rush or got rejected by a Sorority, OH NO DON'T COME UP TALKING ABOUT HOW NOW YOU WANT TO JOIN MY SORORITY, PA LEASE. SEND THOSE GIRLS TO STEPPING (and i don't mean at a greek show). If they are really your friends they will understand and if they really want AKA so bad (it don't look like it) then let someone else help them out, because friends don't always make the best sorors.

[AKA2D '91]

I feel that if someone is interested in a particular organization, then they should be loyal to that group until DEATH! When I was in school, there were girls that made it known they were into other organizations, but when their "friend" became a soror, they wanted to wear the Pink and Green. Girl, just be cautious of the T-shirt wearers. My thing is, if it takes someone 5 times to become accepted into an organization, that shows loyalty and dedication on her part. Many people just want to be say they are in this group or that group. It has to come from the heart and soul. You have to feel something! I don't know about any other organization, but for me, being a part of Alpha Kappa Alpha has to MEAN something!

[pearlsNivy]

From as far back as I can remember, I ALWAYS knew I wanted to be an AKA. It was something I carried around with me through school, through college and into the grad chapter where I was made. In my chapter, I have had involvement with high school students who are on their way to college and I have been asked, "How do you know what to pledge?" I always tell these young ladies the same thing, "You have to pledge your heart." If you dont' know what's in your heart, then you are better off not pledging and the organization that might have taken you is better off as well. You must know without a doubt that AKA is what you want and that you will be good for her. IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT, PLEASE STAY OUT!!

[Discogoddess]

Interested Young Woman:

I would like to respond to your post, but you have not left contact information. What is your email address?

I'm glad you made a contribution to this message board and expressed your viewpoint. However, there are a couple of things you may want to keep in mind: please don't refer to yourself as "future soror" or "I want to be a soror." Generally only women who are already members of a sorority use the term soror. When talking about members of AKA, it is fine to say "the ladies of AKA," or "member of AKA," "your sorority sister," etc. The same goes for the term "Skee Wee." That is a call that only my sorors and I use, and even though I know you weren't using it as if you were an AKA, it may give off the wrong impression.

I hope this feedback was helpful to you.

DG

[MissChynna]

Hello ladies,
Unfortunately, I am very familiar with this topic.When I first entered college many females knew they wanted to become a member of a sorority: I knew I wanted to be an AKA, and many of my classmates wanted to be Deltas. Neither had a line until spring of 1998 when the AKAs came out.When the same classmates who wanted to be Deltas saw the probate show of the AKAs, all of the sudden that is what they wanted to be.(Keep in mind that the Deltas were suspended until this past spring.)I am not a member of a sorority, but I have personally felt that what a sorority stands for is what should attract you to it. Like pinkbunny said, these girls just wanted to be "greek".

As for IWANNABEASOROR's remark, ask yourself why a woman who wanted to be in a particular sorority for a long time would change her mind all of the sudden?If you already belong to a sorority shouldn't you be faithful?People should do their research BEFORE they decide they want to join.And I cannot comprehend how you can compare someone being turned away from a sorority to God turning His back on someone.You yourself said it troubles you how people talk about sororities as if they were a religion.

Please excuse me if I am out of line, or offend anyone.And sorry the post is so long.

Skeee-Weeee to all my Sorors. I agree whole heartedly with the opinions on whishy washy people. I had a similiar thing happen to me in college when I was in a auxiliary.A couple of us knew where r hearts were but a few were dead set against anything pink&green until a bad situation came about involving another sorority. When the few realized they would never be accepted they quickly changed their tune. A few of them actually made line with me and after. Needless to say the one's after caught it. Just a word of advice to any young ladies; be careful who you share your thoughts with .
P.S. Any Houston area Sorors please contact me will be visiting soon.

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[AKAtude]

Sorors, I'm in agreement with you on this one. I knew I wanted to be an AKA. There are people out there who just want to be Greek and will flip-flop from one day to the next.

There was a young lady I knew during my freshman year that wanted to be an AKA. She confided in me and another friend of mine who was also one of my line sisters. This young lady came in with college credits and attended the AKA rush during the fall of '92. She filled out her application and was notified that because she was a first semester freshman, could not pledge.

Guess what? The next semester is crossed as a Delta! I did not attend the probate show, but when my friend told me I was so shocked! This was a young woman who went on and on about AKA as much as I did! When I asked her about it, she just said she had a change of heart.

Anyway, this was kept a secret somehow and she even became the DST chapter president on campus. Eventually, the cat was let out of the bag. And according to my friend who pledged DST the same semester I pledged AKA, they were NOT happy with her when they found out.

So, I say people need to do their research, research, research. And, yes, like Soror Donna said, keep your thoughts to yourself!

[IWANNABEASOROR]

I apologize if I unknowingly disrespected any member of AKA.I am sorry, and I have taken what you said Dsicogoddess to heart.Please know that my interest in your fine organization is sincere and I have the utmost respect for the ladies of AKA.

And I will be changing my chat name.

Thanks.

[AKAtude]

Ms. Iwannabe....

I'm glad you have taken my soror's advice. I think it is for the best.