Can Someone help me with my problem

[LuV_mE]

I dont know if everyone understands what a "cutter" (not sure of other names)
but it is like I am trying to stop but for some reason I can't, I really cant recall how I started but its like (i am 16) my mom is a drunk so she has so many personalities and it's a lot to deal with by myself and everytime I say I wil never do it again She pisses me off Soooooooooooo much.

everyday I wear jackets so the marks arent visable, I cant really talk to anyone because I hate those looks of PITY I have --no clue how I can stop

I remember when I first started I was Like , "I can stop when ever I want to"
I thought it wasn't that harmful because i used a razor blade a clean one eachtime and I don't cut too deep and it's not like I am harming anyone else, but everytime you look at TV you see that it is harmful.

ANYWAY i just wanted advise on what I should do I thought asking a stranger is easier than asking family friends or someone at school
my friends know about it but it isn't much that they can do that i can't and every Woman of Delta Sigma Theta I have met has been nice so I thought this would be a place I can ask for help.

Thanks So much

[Boom_Quack13]

We have several sorors who are psychologists. Some of them may be in the yellow pages of your city's phone book. I hope that helps.

[Nubian]

Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I did want to offer some advice.

I know when I am overwhelmed, (and even when I'm not) that prayer works. Or, if you are not religious, I think you should try outlets other than cutting when your mom makes you mad. Try writing, or exercising, or anything that will keep you busy until that feeling passes. I don't know much at all about cutting, but I was concerned by your post, and I hope that you will be OK.

[winneythepooh7]

As a Social Worker, what you are saying is quite troublesome to me. I think you need to seek professional help to assist you in coping with the stressors in your life. Remember mental health care services are confidential.

[Ideal08]

Can you see your high school guidance counselor? You might also want to go to an Al-Anon meeting just to have some type of support for the issue of living with an alcoholic (I know from experience what that's like).

If you don't want to tell your mom about needing a mental health clinician (because you are on her insurance) check with your local health department. There is usually a place that you can go that is free of charge; the ADAM (sp?) board controls it.

Have you done an internet search on cutting? I had a student that did it this year and I learned so much about it online.

Please stop hurting yourself.

[RedVelvet]

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

[LuV_mE]

Thanks,
I have tried praying but it seems as if things get worse I try to go to church but she will not let me (She is a Jehovah's witness I am not)

No, I have not done an internet search on it.

I've tried to talk with Mrs. CJ but after I do it I feel that it will not happen again or it's not important enough for anyone to know or she'll call my mom and everyone will think I am crazy or something like that

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by LuV_mE
I've tried to talk with Mrs. CJ but after I do it I feel that it will not happen again or it's not important enough for anyone to know or she'll call my mom and everyone will think I am crazy or something like that

You are going to have to let go of what everyone will think. Everyone is not going to save your life, only YOU have the power to do that at this point. Because I work at a school, I know that the guidance counselor may have to tell your mom if she thinks that you are suicidal. At my school, we have to call the suicide hotline and the child has to go to the emergency room. *sigh* It's hard to combat something like this without getting the parent involved, even if the parent is the root of the problem.

Do you journal? I am a strong advocate of journaling. It helps to get your feelings out of your mind and onto paper. You can talk to the paper until the feeling to cut subsides. I know it sounds crazy, but give it a try.

Remember, a minute at a time. If you can keep yourself from cutting for a minute, you can go another minute. After a while, you will be up to a day, then a week, etc etc. Don't overwhelm yourself with saying you'll "never" cut again. Break it down in little pieces. You won't cut yourself tonight. When you make it through the night, say you won't cut yourself in the morning. You feel me?

Keep praying. She can keep you out of church, but she can't keep The Almighty out of your heart.

[CrimsonTide4]

Do you have other family members who can help you?

I remember reading about this in psych courses, but have not dealt with it at all outside of the classroom environment. I applaud you for at least recognizing that you need help and taking the steps to get that help. I am sorry that your mother is causing so much pain in your life.

It sounds like not only do you need help but your mother does as well. Do you have older siblings who can help you?

[LuV_mE]

Originally posted by Ideal08


Do you journal? I am a strong advocate of journaling. It helps to get your feelings out of your mind and onto paper. You can talk to the paper until the feeling to cut subsides. I know it sounds crazy, but give it a try.

Keep praying. She can keep you out of church, but she can't keep The Almighty out of your heart.

I do have a journal. I started it when I was thinking of Killing myself (those thoughts are far gone). I still use it almost everyday to vent.

but then its those days were she is drunk but coming down off being drunk and I dont know which personality I'm talking to and the smallest things will piss her off and I'll be grounded for a few weeks



Also: my sisters will not come over anymore because she causes to much stress in their lives and had one of my sisters seeing a therapist. They say I can come over anytime but my mom will not let me go for the weekend

I actually lived with my aunt for 5 months but I had to come home and I am not allowed to stay over their anymore because she says they are using me ( ) (for what I have no clue seeing that a 16 year old doesn't have much)

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by LuV_mE
I do have a journal. I started it when I was thinking of Killing myself (those thoughts are far gone). I still use it almost everyday to vent.

but then its those days were she is drunk but coming down off being drunk and I dont know which personality I'm talking to and the smallest things will piss her off and I'll be grounded for a few weeks



Also: my sisters will not come over anymore because she causes to much stress in their lives and had one of my sisters seeing a therapist. They say I can come over anytime but my mom will not let me go for the weekend

I actually lived with my aunt for 5 months but I had to come home and I am not allowed to stay over their anymore because she says they are using me ( ) (for what I have no clue seeing that a 16 year old doesn't have much)

I am very very sorry that you have to go through this. But you know what, I detect strength in you that goes untouched by your cutting and your mother's drinking. Hold on to that strength to see you through.

Would any of your sisters or aunt be willing to take her to court for custody of you?

[LuV_mE]

.Would any of your sisters or aunt be willing to take her to court for custody of you?


Yes we talked about it
it seems that would cause alot of stress also because then my DAD and stepmom will have to be in it every step of it
and right now it seems everone's life is complicated, it seems like everyone will say they'd help me but when the time came everyone would say for some reason or another it woldn't work out and with 2 more years I could find ways to stay gone.

I have been thinking about getting into programs afterschool to stay away from home it seems the more I am gone the less time I actually have to think about it
like I've been thinking about
school programs
Community Service
anything that could really help me stay gone that wouldn't be just a waist of time.

[Ideal08]

Girl, believe me when I say, trouble don't last always. I remember dealing with ALL of this. You hate going home because you don't know what's going to be going on. You don't bring friends home because you don't want them to see the chaos that you live in. All the fights and cursing. Police visits on the regular. Then the time that you wish for: quiet, serene, at times even loving. But all that mixed together causes nothing but confusion. You are right, you have two more years, and they may fly by. I agree with CrimsonTide4, you are stronger than you think. Start thinking about what college you will go to (AWAY FROM HOME) and dream about it. Try to find ways to stay gone, as you put it.

And I understand where your sisters are coming from, too. It is the exact reason that I go home less and less these days. Once you are out, you just don't want to invite that type of craziness into your life anymore.

I'm going to pull up a thread for you in the Alpha Kappa Alpha forum.

ETA: Here is the link - http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...023#post765023

[CrimsonTide4]

I thought about you some more last night. Have you tried AlaNon or AlaTeen -- not sure exactly which one. They should have resources and avenues for you to pursue to get help.

I agree with my PIC trouble don't last always and you have to take each day one day at a time. It's obvious you love yourself enough to know there is better out there. Keep us posted.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I hope that everything works out for you. I think that you should talk to an adult that you trust about your situation. There is nothing wrong with reaching out and getting help. With proper counseling, the quality of your life will improve and you can be happy and healthy.