The Rules of Man

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

A friend emailed this out:

The Rules of man!!! (Enjoy)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sport on tv at the weekends. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Ann Summers models, don't expect us to act like Eastenders/Hollyoaks guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the adverts.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. lime is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We men do that.

1. If we ask "what 's wrong?" and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, naked women or video games.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape and I am it!!!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sofa tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[SAEalumnus]

Amen!

[navane]

Originally posted by SAEalumnus
Amen!

<Kelly kicks you>

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by navane
<Kelly kicks you>

Shame on you. Some constructive advice is posted, and you wish to inflict pain on a man that just wants to end misunderstandings.

[SAEalumnus]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
Shame on you. Some constructive advice is posted, and you wish to inflict pain on a man that just wants to end misunderstandings.

Actually, Kelly and I know each other, so that's got a little something to do with her response. Nevertheless, I stand by my support of the original post in this thread as the inescapable flip side of the men-and-women-should-be-equal coin (which I happen to agree with).

[navane]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
Shame on you. Some constructive advice is posted, and you wish to inflict pain on a man that just wants to end misunderstandings.

If you go back and look, I was quoting SAEalumnus. Therefore, I was kicking him and not you. Plus, my kicking him was just a joke.

Besides, I leave the toilet seat *UP* for my boyfriend! ppllbbtthhtt!

.....Kelly

[navane]

Originally posted by SAEalumnus
Actually, Kelly and I know each other, so that's got a little something to do with her response.

Nah, that had everything to do with it.

Nevertheless, I stand by my support of the original post in this thread as the inescapable flip side of the men-and-women-should-be-equal coin (which I happen to agree with).

hehehe....well that list is spot-on! I especially identify with rule #1 and rule #1:

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

-- If I have a problem I just want to vent about, my bf always seems to want to give me unsolicited advice. Errrrrrrrrrrrr silly boy!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

-- hahahahaha I am soooooo one of those women who can remember an exact quote from two years ago and tell you where you were standing and what you were wearing when you said it. Neil knows this and he keeps telling me that, since he can't remember past 5 minutes, it's not fair to use that in an argument. LOL

.....Kelly