How did you tell your parents?

highly~favored · #1 01-07-2010, 02:39 AM

To those of you who are first generation college students, how did you explain your decision to join DST (or any other org) to your family? This is assuming that any info they may know about BGLOs is from popular media.

( I apologize if this is a repost, I did perform a search and found nothing)

DSTRen13 · #2 01-07-2010, 07:58 AM

My parents were the first generation college students, but both of them were nontraditional students and not interested in GLOs. They were confused when my brother and I joined our respective groups, but we weren't asking for their money to do it. After seeing what we actually DO, they've come to respect, if not really "get", the Greek experience.

(I didn't really make a huge deal out of telling my parents anything at first. More of a "By the way, I am going to do this. Don't worry, I'm using my money for it, here's the website if you want to check it out. Let me know if you want to talk about it some more later.")

highly~favored · #3 01-07-2010, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

"By the way, I am going to do this. Don't worry, I'm using my money for it, here's the website if you want to check it out. Let me know if you want to talk about it some more later."

Thanks for the response. I may try that.

Angelicqt716 · #4 01-08-2010, 12:52 AM

I told my parents after the fact. I told my mom as I walked out the door on the way to a meeting, and then told my dad when he asked about the tag on the front of my car.

CDancer20 · #5 03-22-2010, 01:34 AM

This is actually a great question that my younger sister is going through right now. Our mom is a member of "ABC" sorority. While originally my sister did entertain the idea of joining the sorority, it was later changed when she transferred schools and started learning about the "XYZ" sorority (the only of the 4 NPHC sororities not suspended off campus for hazing). My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

DrPhil · #6 03-22-2010, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon?

Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

Just say this.

Some people take this legacy stuff too seriously and others are happy when their kids are happy with whatever healthy and smart choices they make. Hopefully, your mother is the latter.

ladygreek · #7 03-22-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

This is actually a great question that my younger sister is going through right now. Our mom is a member of "ABC" sorority. While originally my sister did entertain the idea of joining the sorority, it was later changed when she transferred schools and started learning about the "XYZ" sorority (the only of the 4 NPHC sororities not suspended off campus for hazing). My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

Your Mom has no idea that she is in the process of joining a sorority? Wow.

libramunoz · #8 03-22-2010, 12:37 PM

I never told my mom, told her my aunt (her sister) because she was a member as well. Mom either found out when I came home from college that semester or when my aunt told her.

Well, now that I think about it, neither my brother nor myself told our Mother outright about joining either of our organizations. What was funny was that we found out about each other when we were talking on the phone one day to each other and that we were both on line at the same time. We'd each just talked to our sister and then we called to talk to each other and that's how we found out.

Either way, Mom was proud that I was part of DST and bought me one of my elephants and she was proud of him (although I don't remember what she'd gotten him).

She felt that we'd both gone with our hearts and she was glad that she'd insisted that we'd both gone to an HBCU.

If I had to do it again, I'd tell her and keep moving. When my cousin joined a sorority, she told my Aunt and my Aunt told me. Both she and I looked up the sorority and that was that.

ladygreek · #9 03-22-2010, 08:24 PM

@ LibraMunoz: Is your Mom a D9 member? The OP's Mom is. If I was her Mom I would have been ticked off. I mean give me time to process it before you actually become a member of another sorority other than my own. But then I would have moved on.

Glad I didn't have to deal with that.

ladygreek · #10 03-22-2010, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon?

Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

I just thought about this. It's not like they are saying come pin your child. Maybe it will be the $$$ call.

CDancer20 · #11 03-22-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon? Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

DrPhi, I am not sure what "the call" is about. My sister just told me to be on the look out for it soon. I think it is a personal invitation to the probate show or whatever. I actually don't know anything about her process. She has not told me. I only know that she is going through MIP because 1-I was there when she got the call. 2-In the beginning, I had agreed to loan her the money she needed but soon realized I didn't have to funds when I had to pay for school. 3-LOL, I AM her sister so of course she confided in me that she was interested in the organization.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Your Mom has no idea that she is in the process of joining a sorority? Wow.

ladygreek, no my mom does not know. 1-My sister didn't know how to tell her that she wasn't going to do her sorority. She had once told my mom she was thinking about it and she says she could hear the hurt in my mom's voice. 2-My sister wanted to surprise my mom. She only had to tell my dad when she needed the money lol. (My parents aren't married anymore).

ladygreek · #12 03-22-2010, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

DrPhi, I am not sure what "the call" is about. My sister just told me to be on the look out for it soon. I think it is a personal invitation to the probate show or whatever.

ladygreek, no my mom does not know. 1-My sister didn't know how to tell her that she wasn't going to do her sorority. She had once told my mom she was thinking about it and she says she could hear the hurt in my mom's voice. 2-My sister wanted to surprise my mom. She only had to tell my dad when she needed the money lol. (My parents aren't married anymore).

Wait! She could hear the hurt in your Mom's voice when she told her she was interested in another sorority. And now she wants to surprise her? And your Dad, your Mom's ex-husband, knew because he paid for it. Woosah--talk about blindsiding someone.

DrPhil · #13 03-22-2010, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I just thought about this. It's not like they are saying come pin your child. Maybe it will be the $$$ call.

These aren't dependents so why would the sorority be calling the parents instead of the daughter asking her parents for money?

Also, I forgot that many aspirants don't save money/go to pawn shops, etc so they can pay for their own stuff--or at least most of it. That sucks.

ETA: Okay, the call may be about the invite to the show. Uhmm...still...why would that come from the sorority since those aren't your mother's sorors? This is strange to me.

Either case, I want my son or daughter to tell me off the bat. I'm not paying for most of it regardless, but I want them to seek my advice on something that their parents know a helluva lot more about than they do. That applies even if my daughter doesn't want to be a Delta.

CDancer20 · #14 03-22-2010, 09:03 PM

My sister actually is paying for it. She took out a school loan but she needed the money fast when she got "the call" LOL. She wasn't going to tell my dad either until at the last minute I realized I couldn't help her.

I am supposed to be getting the phone call too so it has nothing to do with money. I honestly think its just a personal invite to the probate show.

dreamseeker · #15 03-22-2010, 10:52 PM

anyone getting the feeling that discretion applies not only to the aspirant but also those around them, or is it just me? sheesh.