Alternative sexuality in Greek life often kept in closet

[Senusret I]

Although she had a number of close friendships with other women in her house, after she came out, Suzanne said she completely cut ties with most of her sorority sisters, fearing her old pals would look back on their friendships with her and misinterpret their closeness.

"A man who comes out as gay in a frat probably hasn't snuggled with his frat brothers," she said. "I feel like it raises different issues for women because of the closeness they're allowed to have in society."

http://thedaily.washington.edu/news....=11641&-search

[RUASTgrrl]

Several years before I was in sorority, I heard that there was a openly gay sister. I think it was as accepted as possible, I even heard she brought her girlfriend to formals. We didn't have a live in requirement, so there wasn't an issue with undressing etc. I am more inclined to believe that she kept it pretty quiet when she was a collegiate member and was more open about it as an alum.

[Little E]

We've had openly gay sisters, they brought their girlfriends to formal. People who may have been uncomfortabled learned to open their eyes. I'm not saying it wasn't hard on these ladies, but I think the house as a whole grew becuase of it. However, unlike the schools mentioned in the article, we were not huge on mixers so there was less date a fraternity boy pressure.

[sugar and spice]

This is an interesting topic -- and it's definitely true that there are more "out" fraternity men than sorority women. I've never met a lesbian in a sorority, although I know a handful of gay men in fraternities. This isn't really surprising, though, since women tend to come out later than men in general.

[Little E]

I should mention that my college is extremely liberal, so to be honest, that may have played a role in the acceptance of my gay sisters. Sugar and Spice you almost went there, you could probably see what I mean.

[sageofages]

Originally posted by Senusret I
Although she had a number of close friendships with other women in her house, after she came out, Suzanne said she completely cut ties with most of her sorority sisters, fearing her old pals would look back on their friendships with her and misinterpret their closeness.

"A man who comes out as gay in a frat probably hasn't snuggled with his frat brothers," she said. "I feel like it raises different issues for women because of the closeness they're allowed to have in society."

http://thedaily.washington.edu/news....=11641&-search

You would think they would have contacted Lambda 10 Project to get a bit more information about this topic to begin with.

Lambda 10 was founded by the brother of a Phi Mu

www.lambda10.org/

[sugar and spice]

That's definitely true -- I can easily see sororities at Beloit, Lawrence, or similar schools accepting lesbian sisters. Not so much at Wisconsin. I know plenty of Greeks here who would accept a lesbian sorority women 100 percent, but unfortunately, I also know plenty of them who would not.

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

I know way too many LGBT Greeks from Lawrence... seems they find their way to Iowa State for grad school.

[hoosier]

'Out and Greek'
Shane Windmeyer speaks about the ins and outs of being gay and Greek.

By Iris Sela
Correspondent
February 03, 2005

"We must go deeper than the stereotypes. Gay people come from all walks of life."

This was the marrow of author Shane Windmeyer's lecture on Wednesday, which he delivered to a large crowd of USF students -- many members of sororities and fraternities -- about the importance of being a straight ally to gays and lesbians who are members of sororities and fraternities.

He also presented several facts about the gay community and shattered some commonly held stereotypes.

Windmeyer's presentation included many commonly asked questions about gays and lesbians, including why gays and lesbians join fraternities and sororities.

"It's not to play touch football or to decorate," he joked. "Gays and lesbians join for friendship, camaraderie, brotherhood, sisterhood, leadership and social aspects."

In essence, the same reasons straight people join.

Some of the issues encountered by gays and lesbians in fraternities and sororities have to do with the gender roles many members face, Windmeyer said. Gay men may worry about being beaten up or seen as feminine for not "getting laid" by women, while lesbians may encounter losses in friendship over not fulfilling a feminine image.

Windmeyer interacted with the audience, giving six students a "quiz for straight people" to find out how much they knew about some aspects of the gay community. He called it their GPA-- Gay Point Average. The purpose was to educate the crowd on some symbols of the gay community, including the rainbow, which is a symbol of pride; the upside-down triangle, which was reclaimed after Nazis in WWII tagged gays and lesbians with the symbol in concentration camps; and the Greek symbol Lambda, which symbolizes coming together and creating synergy.

Windmeyer also spoke of the importance of being open and accepting to gays and lesbians that may come out within sororities and fraternities.

"If your best friend was gay, what would you do?" he asked. "This question can make all the difference to somebody who is coming out."

He explained that many gays and lesbians come out of the closet to be honest about who they are, and that many seek support because of difficulty they might have experienced coming out to family and close friends.

He also mentioned the lack of positive gay role models in the community and the tendency for many people to get their information from TV.

Windmeyer spoke of the positive experience he had in coming out to his fraternity, Phi Delta Theta, during his third year in the fraternity.

"What made my fraternity accept me? One word: brotherhood."

"I think this presentation will help students realize that there may be gays in their fraternities," said Scot Wilkinson, a member of Phi Delta Theta's USF chapter. "Hopefully it will make members more comfortable with the issue."

Windmeyer is the founder of the organizations Lambda 10, Stop the Hate and Campus Pride Net, and is the author of three books that deal with coming out in the Greek community. _

[sageofages]

Shane's sister is a Phi Mu and they are both really *great* people!

[FSUZeta]

these days, is it really a big deal if a sorority/fraternity has a gay member? it is nothing new-when i was in school, there were gay/lesbian members of greek orgs. on campus and i didn't know anyone who thought anything of it. it just "was".

[Tom Earp]

One of My Alum (Now) Brothers is Gay and does a Drag Queen Show.

Did I know He was Gay, no. Would I have cared, NO!

He was one hard workking Brother of the Chapter, that was the only thing that I thought about Him.

I know that there are Gay Brothers of LXA and most other GLOs. But, what is more important, being Gay or an intregal part of the Chapter?

It still may not be accepted by a lot of People it is a fact.

Funny, one of the Most Macho Guys I know on The PD, a Captain of the SWAT Team is Gay but still a hell of a guy!

Ah Well, looks can be deceiving. They are People Too!

[aephi alum]

I know someone who attended my alma mater a few years before I was there. She was in a sorority, very well-liked by her sisters, very involved, held a bunch of offices including exec board, etc... She was also bi. When she finally came out to her sisters, most of them cut off contact with her.

Discrimination is, sadly, alive and well.

[winnieb]

Originally posted by Tom Earp
[B]One of My Alum (Now) Brothers is Gay and does a Drag Queen Show.

/B]

Tom--does he do drag in KC?

-wendi

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

I attend a very conservative school yet lesbians in sororities aren't a big deal at all. Gay guys in fraternities..well...that's a different story.

Now, I've had 2 recent lesbian sisters, they brought their girlfriends to formal and all, loved the sis and the gf no matter what, heh We even changed our a page on our website from "Sisters and their Men" to "Sisters to their Significant Others' because we didn't want one of our girls feeling left out. *nods*