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the glue that holds relationships together
I am just back from an intervarsity greek bible study and I have just started attending, its my second week. Today: focus on relationships. Heres what we talked about - suprising enough it makes sense even if you aren't Christian.
pair bonding : the glue that holds relationships together (from some sociologist from some university whose name and affiliation escapes me right now.
If you are Christian, check out Genesis 2. 24-25, it talks about how a man leaves his parents, cleaves with a wife and they become "one flesh, naked and unashamed"
12 steps to relationships between men and women
1. Eye to Body (attraction)
2. Eye to Eye (flirting)
3. Voice to Voice (conversation)
LEAVING
4. Hand to Hand (signal to others that you are connected, gesture is an outward one, you are standing side by side with him/her)
5. Arm to shoulder (protection, this girl/guy is mine, still side by side)
6. Arm to waist (comfort with each other, this is the stage to start askin tough questions - where do you want to go in life, what are your likes, dislikes, Does being with this person make you a better person or not, Does this person have the same goals, values and thoughts as you ...)
This is the easiest time to break from a relationship- think of an easy exit off a highway. When relationships break any further down the highway, there is more emotional damage.
CLEAVING
7. Face to Face (A shift from the side by side of before, sitting across from each other at a restaurant)
8. Hand to Head
9. Hand to Body (comfort with each others bodys, not so much sexual, back rubs, wanting to know about a boyfriends scars from playing a sport, etc.)
ONE FLESH NAKED AND UNASHAMED
10. Mouth to Breast
11. Hand to Genital
12. Genital to Genital
(Marriage and commitment here are key)
Well, thats it.
All this has made me think, which is why I am sharing this with you. No relationship of mine has gone this way so slowly, which explains why some things have gone wrong.
Any thoughts, ideas ....
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