Dilemma...please HELP/ADVICE...transferring, etc.

PPL4ever8 · #1 11-09-2010, 10:37 PM

So I have a dilemma and also I kind of just want to vent. I honestly am not getting anything out of my chapter anymore. I love Pi Phi, don't get me wrong, but I just feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I was processes chair during recruitment so I was pretty much left to fend for myself and hang out with AAC, which was fun and everything, but I feel like I missed out on the bonding time with my sisters. After that, I've tried to go out with them and get back into it, but I just feel like I don't have anybody close and sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own house, like nobody wants me there anymore. In addition to that, my big sis barely talks to me anymore and never wants to do anything together. I just feel down about the whole thing. I'm seriously ready to just de-activate because I'm not getting anything out of it. I even tried going out for other positions and exec to give me reasons to stay but I've been passed on that. I'm starting to apply to transfer to other schools that have better programs for my major (my school now doesn't have a communications major, which is what I want) and they have a Pi Phi in the schools I'm applying to. Should I just hold it out until I know for sure I'm going to transfer and then see if I like the girls in that other chapter? What if I apply for UAS now and then end up transferring, will that look bad to the other school's chapter if I want to reactivate?

33girl · #2 11-09-2010, 11:52 PM

Do you have a little? If so, how is your relationship with her?

Do you live in the house? If no, try to move in or stop by there as often as possible. It helps you to feel more a part of things.

Let your big sis know you're feeling neglected. In all probability - especially if she's a senior and freaking out over graduation/jobs/grad school/the real world - the distance she's keeping has NOTHING to do with you personally.

Everyone has a different term for it, but usually "deactivate" means that you are no longer a member - it's as if you were never a part of the sorority. If you deactivate at your old school, more than likely (as I said, unless the terminology is a lot different) you will not be allowed to be a member at the new school.

DubaiSis · #3 11-10-2010, 01:28 AM

Also swerving in, I think you just have the blues. Don't do anything you'll regret later. If you'll be transferring schools, don't make any additional changes in your life until that's done. School is stressful, based on what you've told us you're either a sophomore or junior and the dew has come off the lily. Do reach out to friends, but even actives need to be reminded that sorority life isn't like TV. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to have the perfect sorority experience.

And back to the blues, check out what counseling opportunities are available to you. Either the sorority, your campus or your health care provider should offer you something. A little talk with a disinterested third party can do wonders. I know Alpha Xi Delta just joined a program for just this type of thing. I don't know if other sororities are doing the same but it's an excellent idea. Good luck!

TPA85 · #4 11-10-2010, 01:29 AM

Every chapter of every sorority is different. The atmosphere is different, the women are different, and the experience is different. If you are pretty sure you are transferring, just wait it out. While you may be displeased with your present chapter, you may fall in love with and fit into the chapter at your next school. If you deactivate you will never get to find out, nor will you get to be an alum of Pi Beta Phi down the road.
Just my lane-swerving 2 cents.