Recs - Always ask EVERYONE!

QLB817 · #1 09-20-2017, 07:47 AM

So I just found out something last night that makes me wanna smack my sweet husband upside his head. My daughter and I talked for months leading up to recruitment about all of it. He saw me talking about recs and putting out a post on Facebook asking women if they or others they knew were in sororities to let me know if they would be willing to put in recs for my daughter.

What he neglected to tell me was that his mother had been in a sorority. He of course, had no clue which one, or that it might make a difference. (He never went Greek, so he is terribly clueless about it all.) She was only at her school for a year, but she initiated and still has both her paddle and her badge. (She's a Sigma Kappa.) She doesn't get on Facebook much and missed my post. It had never really come up when I talked to her over the years either. (Husband and I have only been married for 7 years. I love his parents dearly, but they live 7 hours away and I don't get to talk to them a whole lot.) I happened to be talking to her last night about doing some stitched letter shirts for daughter and I, since she has an embroidery machine. I brought up how stressful recruitment had been and she said, "Oh, I remember it well." Wait, what??? LOL

So.....I'm not sure of Sigma Kappa's legacy policy on step-granddaughters, but I'm thinking she would have been considered an indirect legacy at a minimum by them had we known.

Now it may not have changed a single thing during recruitment and daughter is over the moon for her sorority now. But Sigma Kappa was one of her favorites and she was cut from them after Round 1. We had one rec for them, but it was from someone who didn't know her well. I'm not even going to dwell on if it would have made a difference or not, but at least now we know for the two younger daughters when they get ready to go through recruitment in 4 years. (Wow, they will be legacies to 3 different groups now! How cool is that!)

Lesson learned - always ask EVERYONE. You apparently never know who was in a sorority.

FSUZeta · #2 09-20-2017, 08:21 AM

Yes!

SoCalGirl · #3 09-20-2017, 10:24 AM

If Grandma had submitted a Legacy form (currently spacing on what we actually call it), then yes Step Grand Daughter would be considered a Sigma Kappa Legacy.

I'm glad her recruitment turned out well.

BraveMaroon · #4 09-20-2017, 05:08 PM

I have to laugh because right now a bunch of my friends have daughters who are at that age. Whenever I hear they are going where we have a chapter, I tell Mom or Dad - let me know if Daughter plans to rush, because I would love to write a rec for her. Only one has taken me up on it. But whenever people come on here saying they can't find anyone who was greek to write recs? Bull. We are out there. My last company had at least seven sororities *that I know of* represented.

I had, to my knowledge, no recs going into Rush at UGA in the 1990s (and lived to tell about it). I don't want that to be the thing that hurt any of these great young women.

clemsongirl · #5 09-20-2017, 06:31 PM

I always tell my mom that I'll write recs for any kids from our hometown who go through recruitment (mom could too, but I'm more tech savvy about it). I think around here they just don't know enough to ask for them, and typically go to schools where they aren't necessary anyways, but I want them to know the offer is out there!

jolene · #6 09-20-2017, 09:09 PM

When I hear of a girl going to college and if my sorority has a chapter there, I always offer to write a rec. A lot of the time, no one else is Greek in the fam and wouldn't know.

ChioLu · #7 09-20-2017, 09:09 PM

Yes QLB817, being a legacy to 3 different groups is cool!

My god-daughter will be a legacy to 3 groups also when she goes thru recruitment in 5 years: Kappa (grandmother), Chi O (mom), Theta (sister).
(In her teenage diva moments, she'll say "I'm going Pi Phi!" as she stomps to her room!)

clemsongirl · #8 09-20-2017, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChioLu

Yes QLB817, being a legacy to 3 different groups is cool!

My god-daughter will be a legacy to 3 groups also when she goes thru recruitment in 5 years: Kappa (grandmother), Chi O (mom), Theta (sister).
(In her teenage diva moments, she'll say "I'm going Pi Phi!" as she stomps to her room!)

Watch her go to a school with none of those! I had a friend in undergrad whose grandma was an Alpha Gam and mom was a Pi Phi...and of course she went to Clemson, which at that time had neither. She's now a happy KD alumna, but it forced her to do her own thing.

chi-o_cat · #9 09-21-2017, 08:01 AM

I went to one of those "nobody gets recs" schools (yes, even though certain orgs require them- that's a whole other topic, I guess), and a friend of mine who pledged D Phi E didn't find out until after she'd joined that her grandmother was also a member!

QLB817 · #10 09-21-2017, 08:22 AM

When I went through recruitment, I didn't even know what a rec was. One of my roommates was going through recruitment and asked if wanted to go as well. Sure - why not! No one in my family had ever gone Greek. I had some male in-laws that were in frats way back, but I had never really paid attention to which ones. I was amazingly clueless about it all. I just thought it would be a good way to get involved on campus.

My daughters on the other hand have grown up with all my ZTA stuff around and we have a better idea (so we thought) of who was Greek among our family and friends. I'm actually starting a list of ones I've discovered through my older daughter's recruitment to have it ready when her younger sisters go through recruitment. (At least one of the twins is already looking forward to it. The other is leaning toward not doing it at all, but that doesn't surprise me in the least.)