First impressions -- am I too much?

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #1 07-27-2002, 08:18 PM

Hi all. I've got a question about rush. We have something called "heart pals," which is a sister that is paired up with a PNM during recruitment and sticks with her for the whole party (usually the whole rush, but sometimes she's got a class later in the week or whatever.) The idea is that there's one sister who hears EVERYTHING the PNM says, and therefore gets a really through impression of her, and the PNM is never alone in a room of girls she doesn't know.

My question.... what would most put a PNM at ease? I was a heart pal last year -- I have a bit of a, shall we say, overwhelming personality -- and loved it. My sisters tease that I could talk to a brick wall (but on the bright side, I almost always endeded up getting information out of the PNM nobody else did.) But after reading so many posts about overwhelming sisters at rush parties, I was wondering --

What would make you most at ease, encourage you the most, make you feel the most comfortable, in a heart pal if you were a PNM?

greek love!
~ Jacquelyn

erniegurl00 · #2 07-28-2002, 12:26 AM

Well first off I'd like to say that it's probably a good thing that you have an "overwhelming personality". (At least in my case assuming I am a PNM

) I remember when I rushed I was excited to go through but at the same time I felt very intimidated. The girls that stick out the most in my mind were the girls who made me laugh or complimented me. A laugh always cracks the ice and compliments make a person feel special. Really I think what would make me feel most comfortable would be to talk to an active member who seemed genuinely interested and concerned about me. I think at first just talk to the girl about her feelings about rush and share your own stories. I know it always helped me to hear that an active was just as scared about joining a sorority! Just don't act fake. That's the most important advice I can give. I hope this has helped!

PPL,
Erin

TaraHopeful · #3 07-28-2002, 11:50 PM

I personally hope that the girls that talk to me at rush are welcoming. I would want them to be full of questions so tat there would never be that awkward silence. I have a lot of questions that i'm going to ask, but they wouldn't last for a whole rush party. I would want somebody talking to me to be interested (or at least pretend) in talking to me and seeing what i'm all about. I just hope that the girls that i speak to don't seem not interested right off of the bat b/c of my looks or something and to just ease the mood. Like a joke or something maybe to loosen up my nerves b/c i know that i'm going to be sooo nervous during parties....i don't know if i've made any sense but i hope it's helped. I'd just much rather have somebody that can talk to a wall rather than one who has no facial expressions and asks just basic questions....just my feling...so far
Tara

Angelic · #4 07-29-2002, 10:43 AM

I would have to agree that an overwhelming personality would be better. When I went through rush there was one house where I felt that I was initiating the conversation. This really turned me off during rush. I think you're better off being the one who runs the conversation and asking lots of questions about the PNM. That way the PNM is comfortable and feels that you are making a sincere attempt to get to know her. Also a PNM might know nothing about the greek system and therefore not know what kinds of questions to ask about greek life and being involed with a sorority. You know what makes greek life and your sorority in particular great.

33girl · #5 07-29-2002, 01:36 PM

I think it all depends on the rushee. I know that something that personally turned me off was when people were too gung ho - like every single thing they said revolved around XYZ or related to XYZ. I mean, I could have said something about Einstein and they would have said "Did you know Einstein's granddaughter's cousin's best friend's neighbor was an XYZ?" It made me feel like if I pledged that sorority I would be signing my entire life away to them with no time of my own.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #6 07-29-2002, 06:30 PM

Hahah. Well, I'm not quite that bad. Actually I don't end up talking about the sorority that much (at rush retreat we talk about how you need to shut up so the rushee can talk -- after all, we want to get to know the girls as much as they want to get to know us.)

Just I was worried if I was, like, hitting them with an offensive barrage of questions. "Do ya? Do ya do ya? Huh huh huh?"