Depleding after accepting a bid

Zetagymnast · #1 01-07-2004, 01:47 PM

Has anyone else gone through this or is it just me? Like 6 girls who received bids from my sorority depledged? Is this normal? This is my first semester pledging so I don't know. But, I was a little discouraged but we still have a good number of girls left (14).
I guess maybe they had time to think about it over the break.....

AlethiaSi · #2 01-07-2004, 01:51 PM

how long were they pledging for? did they not even start? sometimes girls get a little skittish about jumping in- if one girl starts getting scared (about time commitments etc) and she has friends that are doing it with her- sometimes they drop too... thats not always the case but it def is there- depledging isn't completely uncommon.... depends on the situation and their personal feelings i guess.... don't worry- just focus on the girls you do have

Tom Earp · #3 01-07-2004, 07:11 PM

Feet in blocks of Ice!

Go for Recruitment in the Heat of the moment!

Did not like the girls that were recruited to be their New Members.

Did not have the Money.

So, Who really know for what reason that they dis-affiliated for!~

We just have our Newly Elected President of the Chapter resign because, "He Did Not Have the Money"!

My question then is why in the hell did he join if the first place!

Work with the New Associate members NOW and build from there!

LatinaAlumna · #4 01-07-2004, 08:39 PM

It happens. Don't be discouraged. You want the ones who are willing to work hard to be your sisters, anyway.

Sister Havana · #5 01-08-2004, 02:15 AM

When I pledged Alpha Phi Omega, we started out with over 50 people in the pledge class. I think we initiated about 35 members of the class, including me. It happens. But in the process we mostly weeded out the people who were just there so they could wear letters on a sweatshirt or whatever, and pretty much everyone else was there because they truly believed in what APO is all about.

And like Tom said...maybe they depledged for reasons nothing to do with the sorority. Maybe they had financial problems, or family problems, were leaving school...etc.

Concentrate on the wonderful new girls you do have and don't worry about those who left.

Kevin · #6 01-08-2004, 02:17 AM

I look at it this way:

If someone leaves, then they don't want to be there.

So you've lost someone that has no wish to be there?

With those 6 gone, you're left with those that are more dedicated. It's usually a good thing when you lose these types early on. Having them stay and leave at a later date is much more problematic.

sairose · #7 01-08-2004, 02:45 AM

It's fairly common to lose pledges, unfortunately. Like someone pointed out though, just concentrate on the girls you DO have because obviously the ones you lost weren't dedicated enough.

AGDee · #8 01-08-2004, 07:33 AM

It still doesn't hurt for the chapter to analyze what happened with each of these new members. It may be coincidence but it's possible that there is a trend that needs to be looked at. Perhaps there was some incident that occurred that most of the chapter doesn't know about, etc. Perhaps grades came in and were lower than the women were expecting. Perhaps it's financial. Figuring out the Why is important though, just in case it is something that the chapter can change.

Dee

kddani · #9 01-08-2004, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AGDee
It still doesn't hurt for the chapter to analyze what happened with each of these new members. It may be coincidence but it's possible that there is a trend that needs to be looked at. Perhaps there was some incident that occurred that most of the chapter doesn't know about, etc. Perhaps grades came in and were lower than the women were expecting. Perhaps it's financial. Figuring out the Why is important though, just in case it is something that the chapter can change.

Dee

I agree 100% with this. Have you guys asked them WHY or did you just say okay when they said they were depleding? Did you try to convince them to stay at all- not saying force them, but everyone has a doubtful time at some point in their pledging period. 6 out of 20 people is a high ratio, and from you asking this question it's probably not considered normal for your type of group. Yes it's normal to lose a few but more than 25%? Maybe there's something going on that you don't know about.

Were they all friends that quit together? Did they all quit at different times? There needs to be some research done into this, as it could be indicative of a bigger underlying problem that your group may not be aware of.

AOIIalum · #10 01-08-2004, 10:31 AM

I also agree with Dani and Dee. If they realized they truly didn't want it, then it's better for the girls and your organization to part ways before initiating. If it was a "cold feet" type decision, depending on how your organization is run, they may be able to repledge at a later time if it works for all involved.

But, if there is some possible trend it is worth exploring. Were the girls looking for something different than what your organization would give them (not that that's necessarily bad, but it will help you to know just what they wanted and didn't find with you.) Were there different reasons for each girl? Finances, grades, even external influences like family, friends and boyfriends can affect a girl's decision making process. Was there something internal happening that negatively impacted the new members? In the end, you may find it was a one-time thing, and just the way life worked out for each of these girls.

Good luck!

33girl · #11 01-08-2004, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zetagymnast
Has anyone else gone through this or is it just me? Like 6 girls who received bids from my sorority depledged? Is this normal? This is my first semester pledging so I don't know. But, I was a little discouraged but we still have a good number of girls left (14).
I guess maybe they had time to think about it over the break.....

Didn't you mention that you give the bids before Christmas break and then pledging doesn't begin till after break? Maybe that is part of the problem.

Zetagymnast · #12 01-08-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlethiaSi
how long were they pledging for? did they not even start? sometimes girls get a little skittish about jumping in- if one girl starts getting scared (about time commitments etc) and she has friends that are doing it with her- sometimes they drop too... thats not always the case but it def is there- depledging isn't completely uncommon.... depends on the situation and their personal feelings i guess.... don't worry- just focus on the girls you do have

They hadn't even started yet before they dropped. I was worried but I am not anymore. Two had financial problems, and one other I think dropped after she got her grades from fall semester. The ones who dropped were the ones who I thought would.

Zetagymnast · #13 01-08-2004, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
Didn't you mention that you give the bids before Christmas break and then pledging doesn't begin till after break? Maybe that is part of the problem.

I don't really think that is why. Some had financial problems and some had bad grades. The way our pleding process goes is the reason why we gave out bids before the break. But, we technically began before the break. I don't really see how the break could make them drop either. At least it gave them time to decided if they wanted to do it or not. Cause like the others said they weren't meant to be there is the first place if they dropped.

ThetaGrrl · #14 01-08-2004, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
Didn't you mention that you give the bids before Christmas break and then pledging doesn't begin till after break? Maybe that is part of the problem.

That would seem like a problem to me...

When I pledged, I got lots of negative feedback from family and high school friends. I'd imagine that going home for break and sharing news that you might think is great might not have a good response to those who don't like/understand the Greek system. I know my friends and fam would have tried to talk me out of it.

Zetagymnast · #15 01-08-2004, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
I agree 100% with this. Have you guys asked them WHY or did you just say okay when they said they were depleding? Did you try to convince them to stay at all- not saying force them, but everyone has a doubtful time at some point in their pledging period. 6 out of 20 people is a high ratio, and from you asking this question it's probably not considered normal for your type of group. Yes it's normal to lose a few but more than 25%? Maybe there's something going on that you don't know about.

Were they all friends that quit together? Did they all quit at different times? There needs to be some research done into this, as it could be indicative of a bigger underlying problem that your group may not be aware of.

The 4 girls who dropped who were all friends so I expected that if one dropped the rest would too. Two of the four were twins so yea that's what happen with them. The other two had serious finanical problems and called me to let me know. But, they are going to come back next year and pledge. I don't think any of the girls that dropped that any problems with us cause they would have told me. I was just asking because with my line 3 girls didnt show up to the first meeting so they basically dropped. And two more dropped during the first week and one the week before we crossed. So, but then again rush was done differently we I pledged.