PNMs and Early Cuts

[PJS]

I haven't posted in a long time, but I had a recent conversation with a PNM and thought I should share a story that might soften a PNM’s view of the early cuts that often come in recruitment with RFM. This is not new information, but a personal story to reinforce something that you read in lots of other threads.

My daughter went through recruitment several years ago at a large university with about a dozen NPC sororities. I was an alum of XYZ, and both she and I thought she would pledge my sorority. She loved the house and she had an excellent resume, so she went into recruitment with "an open mind," but assuming she would pledge XYZ.

The first day she had almost a perfect set of invites back. Only one house (ABC) in her top group did not invite her back. It was a very strong recruiting chapter, albeit a group that I did not really see Dear Daughter fitting in or pledging. Because of this cut, one of the houses (DEF) that she had ranked in the lowest group was added back to her list. It was a chapter she visited when she was tired at the end of the first round; the house was kind of a blur and “nothing special.”

Then came the second round of cuts, which blindsided both of us. DD was cut heavily, including by my house. She ended up with a full set of houses at Pref, but decided to SIP (aka suicide) DEF. Although DEF was a house that she had ranked in her lowest group on the first day, she ended up loving it and pledging it over 2 others that she had kept in her top set the first day. [For the record, I do not recommend anyone doing a single intentional preference.]

If you've stayed with me this long, the point I want to make is this: If the strong recruiting chapter had not cut her the first day, her second day schedule would not have included DEF. I have thought many times how THANKFUL I am that ABC let her go the first day.

Getting cut by any house can be a blow to your self esteem, and RFM does have the downside of not letting the chapters get to know many girls for as many parties. HOWEVER, if you can try to focus on early cuts as an opportunity to get to know houses and girls that maybe YOU didn’t get to know as well during the early rounds, it might be a little easier to take.

[33girl]

Great post!!

[ThetaPrincess24]

Yes this is a great post! I went through recruitment at my alma mater as a junior transfer student. I knew going in I would be released heavy and I was. Out of 8 chapters, I was invited back to three the next day, three the third day, and two for preference (a full schedule). One of the groups that invited me back on the second day I did not really like on the first day, but am so glad I had the opportunity to go back because I loved them on the second day and beyond.

Give all chapters a chance! Minds can and do change and things really can work out even when you do not have full schedules.

[thetalady]

Fabulous post... and great explanation of how & why RFM was put into place.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Excellent! Thank you for taking the time to come back and share this!

[Tom Earp]

Hard choices need to be made because of the number game for Sororitys and they be why she got cut! They may have wanted her but others had things that just beat her out by a smidge.
I have yet found a GLO that is all bad and GLO life is longer than just 4-5 years.

[1964Alum]

The system is different now from what it was back in the day before the flood when I pledged. But we cut heavily after the first round all the young ladies we knew we would not be continuing with. Our thinking was that it was much kinder to the PNMs than stringing them along.

[HQWest]

We have mentioned before that if you really don't see yourself fitting in with a "top" group - don't rank them high just because other people do. On occasion there's a group that was not among your top groups for 1st round, but by prefs they realized they were awesome!

If the "top" group was perfect for everyone - we would 't need 26 groups!

[Cheerio]

As Baby Sinclair might say, AGAIN!

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by PJS

I haven't posted in a long time, but I had a recent conversation with a PNM and thought I should share a story that might soften a PNM’s view of the early cuts that often come in recruitment with RFM. This is not new information, but a personal story to reinforce something that you read in lots of other threads.

My daughter went through recruitment several years ago at a large university with about a dozen NPC sororities. I was an alum of XYZ, and both she and I thought she would pledge my sorority. She loved the house and she had an excellent resume, so she went into recruitment with "an open mind," but assuming she would pledge XYZ.

The first day she had almost a perfect set of invites back. Only one house (ABC) in her top group did not invite her back. It was a very strong recruiting chapter, albeit a group that I did not really see Dear Daughter fitting in or pledging. Because of this cut, one of the houses (DEF) that she had ranked in the lowest group was added back to her list. It was a chapter she visited when she was tired at the end of the first round; the house was kind of a blur and “nothing special.”

Then came the second round of cuts, which blindsided both of us. DD was cut heavily, including by my house. She ended up with a full set of houses at Pref, but decided to SIP (aka suicide) DEF. Although DEF was a house that she had ranked in her lowest group on the first day, she ended up loving it and pledging it over 2 others that she had kept in her top set the first day. [For the record, I do not recommend anyone doing a single intentional preference.]

If you've stayed with me this long, the point I want to make is this: If the strong recruiting chapter had not cut her the first day, her second day schedule would not have included DEF. I have thought many times how THANKFUL I am that ABC let her go the first day.

Getting cut by any house can be a blow to your self esteem, and RFM does have the downside of not letting the chapters get to know many girls for as many parties. HOWEVER, if you can try to focus on early cuts as an opportunity to get to know houses and girls that maybe YOU didn’t get to know as well during the early rounds, it might be a little easier to take.

This is a terrific advice! Viewing your cuts as an opportunity is a great idea. Sooner or later, most PNMs get cut the same way. Everybody only has one or two choices left by the time they get to pref. On a big campus, you might be able to go to three pref parties and so have 1-3 houses to choose from. That's it. Everybody is getting cut down to to 1-3 sooner or later. Patty Perfect PNM is getting cut to 1-3 choices. Amy Awkward is getting cut to 1-3 choices.

If you are cut early, you can focus on the houses that you will have left at the end. You can take some time to get to know them. You will have more insight into which one you want to pick, or if you want to pick any of them. You will have a better idea where you are going, so can relax a little and focus on your final choices.

[FSUZeta]

YES!

[AnchorsAweigh]

I love this advice! Trust the process, PNMs! Remember that when one door closes another opens. You will wind up where you are supposed to be!

[LuvMyPNM]

Going through this now and luckily my daughter does get the positive. It helps that she was starting to feel overwhelmed with other early/pre-semester activities with classes starting later this week. She was only invited back to 3 out of max of 10 for this round. She got 2 of her top 3 which I said is awesome and the 3rd is a great organization too! She's got a good head on her shoulders and it will work out for the best in the end. Everyone gets to 3 or less, sooner or later. Enjoy the free time!

[FSUZeta]

Good luck to your daughter, and I raise a glass of vino in your honor mom!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Cheerio

As Baby Sinclair might say, AGAIN!

I know this was posted a couple years ago, but did you actually reference Dinosaurs?

Fantastic.