My best friend was cut!?

[ChiOKateO]

I have a friend, really great girl, who went through recruitment. She is really involved, good grades, always smiling, etc, yet she was cut from all of the houses...... there aren't very many by the way. i am really confused by this and don't know what to do or say to make her feel better because i have no clue why this could be!! the only thing i could come up with is all of the houses thought she would be going somewhere else or something, she says her rho chis were really confused too and that's all they could come up with, and one of them said she was totally gonna talk to her chapter. anyway this whole thing is really weird for me because i love this girl and think she would have been a great asset to any house on campus. any similar stories or advice????

[ThetaPrincess24]

Sometimes really great girls slip through the cracks. It's one of the pitfalls of rush.

I believe it was GeekyPenguin who once said something along the lines of that a chapter, any chapter has the right to cut anyone from any of their parties/lists for any reason they want to, and likewise for PNM's cutting any chapter they want from their list of invites for any reason they want to. It may not always have happy endings.....but that's life. I dont mean to be rude or negative, but that's just how things are sometimes. YOu can always encourage her to try COB or go through the next recruitment, and keep staying/getting involved on campus, meeting people, and letting her qualities shine.

sorry to hear that.....what round did she get cut from all of the houses? maybe she'll get picked up in the end

[_Lisa_]

Definitely encourage her to COB. Ditto to what ThetaPrincess24 said, sometimes really great girls fall through the cracks. Also try to keep in mind that there isn't any reason to try to rationalize it w/ her now that it has happened! Don't dwell on the past & keep her positive about the future!

[pinkyphimu]

i'm sorry your friend got cut. no one ever knows for sure why someone would get cut, but definately encourage her to cob. she still has a chance to find a good home!

[pHiSiG cHiCkAdE]

Last year my university had one of its highest turn outs for rush. Many girls got cut from all the sororities that were rushing girls. That included my roommate and a good friend of mine at school. I was at a complete loss for why they got cut, particularly from the sorority we all loved and that I am now in. Many Rho Chis were at a loss for why their girls got cut and all the advice that they could offer was, "This year we had a huge turnout and it doesn't mean that you weren't liked. Try again next rush period." I've never been through rush as a sister yet, as I just got in during Spring 2004 rush, but I've encouraged my roommate and my friend to rush again. This this time since it will be informal rush in the Fall they are going to give it one last shot for the one sorority they want to be in. I hope they don't get cut as I am in the only sorority they are rushing.

I don't know if it is unpopular to rush twice at your school. At mine it is not uncommon for girls to go through the rush period twice. I would say that you should encourage your friend to try again! I know it must suck. The day I got my bid was so bittersweet because although I was happy for myself I had to watch my roomie and friend, two girls i wanted to pledge with cry.

[EXColony]

One of my great friends went through the same situation last year, but she's been trucking along and is going through recruitment again. I REALLY HOPE SHE GET'S IN THE ONE SHE WANTS!!

I'm sure our friends are the same, in the fact that both of them would be OUTSTANDING assets to ANY org, whether greek or not.

Pass on these words - never give up, in the end everything works out for the best!

JP

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

..... or......


there could be a reason we don't know.

Maybe she says her grades are fantastic, but really they're only so-so.

Maybe she had a bad reputation in her hometown.

Maybe she was nasty to somebody's boyfriend.


Every chapter had a reason for cutting her. Some of them may have thought she was going somewhere else -- did she make statements over and over about how she REALLY loved the ABC party at everyone elses' parties? That'd explain how she got cut everywhere else (they figured she'd go ABC) and then if ABC cut her, bam, she's a no match.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's possible every chapter thought she was so great she would go elsewhere -- but not very likely. Sometimes campuses ARE just running that close to total, but it's rare, because usually a campus will move to expansion when that happens.

[winneythepooh7]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
[B]..... or......


there could be a reason we don't know.

Maybe she says her grades are fantastic, but really they're only so-so.

Maybe she had a bad reputation in her hometown.

Maybe she was nasty to somebody's boyfriend.


Co-sign. Greeklife wasn't that large at my school so pretty much everyone was initially given a bid that was in good-standing. However, there are reasons that girls are cut, it happened rarely in my org, in most cases, after the new member process started and we found out some negative stuff about the girl. I do remember more than one instance though where we were forewarned about girls we gave bids to initially about a mix of negative stuff. Some we went with, some we didn't and found out later the hard way we should have listened to the warnings. As we all know, it is difficult to just act on "rumors". I do have lots of friends though who went to schools where they were only able to have new member classes of like 5 or 6 girls because their organization was so large so it makes it really really hard to pick
when you have 10x that rushing. I am sure your friend is a great girl who can be an asset to any organization. While it is hard not to take the cutting personally, I would encourage her to rush again next semester. In the meantime, it will also give her more of an opportunity to hang out with and get to know the girls she would eventually like to be sisters with. Oh another reason girls often didn't get bids back in my day was because they were "illegal" such as first semester freshman, or first semester transfers. Some organizations pledged illegally we all know, but it is a rather large risk to take. Just an aside, even though I know this isn't the case with your friend. This happened to me when I initially rushed another national. My friend got cut because she was a freshman.

[WCUgirl]

I think that we can't stress enough the importance of not giving up. In my undergraduate chapter, we had several girls that didn't get a bid until their 2nd, 3rd or sometimes even their 4th time through Rush or COB. It's not that we didn't want them, it was just timing. Perhaps that particular COB we could only pick up 6 girls. Perhaps their GPA was high enough to meet the requirement, but not strong enough to where we felt comfortable that a pledge period wasn't going to hurt their grades. Perhaps she learned the importance of bathing daily (haha, just kidding! ). Sometimes the time just isn't right. Please tell your friend NOT TO GIVE UP! It will happen.

[chideltjen]

I'd recommend COB as well. Maybe she just kind of blended in with her group and wasn't noticed right away. And with COB, you can kinda choose what group you want to COB anyway right?

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by ChiOKateO
I have a friend, really great girl, who went through recruitment. She is really involved, good grades, always smiling, etc, yet she was cut from all of the houses...... there aren't very many by the way. i am really confused by this and don't know what to do or say to make her feel better because i have no clue why this could be!! the only thing i could come up with is all of the houses thought she would be going somewhere else or something, she says her rho chis were really confused too and that's all they could come up with, and one of them said she was totally gonna talk to her chapter. anyway this whole thing is really weird for me because i love this girl and think she would have been a great asset to any house on campus. any similar stories or advice????

Unfortunately, once you've been cut, what's done is done. If I were in your shoes, I would be a good friend to this woman, help her get over the feelings of rejection and invite her to spend time with you and your friends. Get involved together with a non-Greek campus activity together, like Student Government or an intramural sport.

The best way to help her deal with this is to just be a good friend.

You can also encourage your friend to go to the office of Greek Life and talk to the Greek Life Adviser about the challenges and confusion so it doesn't happen again. If your friend is interested in Greek Life, help her get her name onto the list of women to contact for informal COB events.

[MoldyPorridge]

Yea. I agree. Don't turn your back on her. make sure she knows that you are there for support.