Re-rushing after dropping sorority.

mgandil · #1 06-02-2016, 03:52 PM

Hey guys! I just finished up my freshmen year at George Mason University. In the Spring I went to a rush event for a sorority and received a bid. I stayed in the sorority up until initiation weekend, when I dropped. I did not make a single close friend in my sorority and my big and I had some problems. I really want to rush again in the fall because I want a chance to do formal recruitment and truly find my home. (We are allowed to do fall recruitment even if we accepted a bid in the spring). Please share your thoughts and give me advice on if I will have any luck if I rush or not. I am pretty sure i meet the criteria to be in any other sorority its just that I was in a different sorority in the spring that I'm scared will hold me back.

TLLK · #2 06-02-2016, 04:34 PM

Hi. Sorry that your initial experience did not work out. My piece of advice would be that if the topic regarding your previous recruitment experience were to arise that you give a simple but honest answer. I'd keep the personal details (members and big sister's names) out of the conversation. In other words stick to the general information and avoid details that should remain private. Hopefully you have had the opportunity to become acquainted with members in the other NPC groups through classes, on campus activities, work, dorm etc...
Good luck with formal recruitment.

mgandil · #3 06-02-2016, 04:41 PM

Thanks for the advice! I have this fear that when I sign up for rush and they do their research on me that they will automaticlly drop me due to me being in a different sorority for a little while.

thetalady · #4 06-02-2016, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgandil

Hey guys! I just finished up my freshmen year at George Mason University. In the Spring I went to a rush event for a sorority and received a bid. I stayed in the sorority up until initiation weekend, when I dropped. I did not make a single close friend in my sorority and my big and I had some problems. I really want to rush again in the fall because I want a chance to do formal recruitment and truly find my home. (We are allowed to do fall recruitment even if we accepted a bid in the spring). Please share your thoughts and give me advice on if I will have any luck if I rush or not. I am pretty sure i meet the criteria to be in any other sorority its just that I was in a different sorority in the spring that I'm scared will hold me back.

We really have no idea if you will receive a bid if you rush again. It will be awfully tough, but you might be successful. Your grades, recs and presentation will have to be stellar. Be aware that your prior pledgeship will be known among the chapters, whether or not they ask. Be prepared for very hard early cuts and have a positive attitude about the invitations that you do receive. Good luck

JayhawkAOII · #5 06-02-2016, 04:48 PM

First thing you need to do is removing the identifying information in your post. Collegiate members read these forums.

We can't tell you what your outcome will be. The only guarantee is that if you won't be in any chapter if you don't participate in the process. Some chapters may be willing to overlook your time in the previous group. Others may not be. I would make sure you have your recommendations lined up and hopefully you have friends in the other chapters who may be willing to go to bat for you.

I think you need to honestly reflect on what you need to do differently this time. Close friendships are not made overnight and they do require work on your part. It is seriously unrealistic to expect to have close personal friendships made in 6 to 8 weeks time. Yes, sometimes it does happen, but more often it does not. I would be concerned that you have an unrealistic expectation of what sorority membership is and should be.

mgandil · #6 06-02-2016, 04:51 PM

My GPA is over a 3, and I already know exactly what to wear, how to style my hair, and what to say. We don't require reccomendations. GMU is up north so it isn't super competitive with it's rush like some schools down south. It's only a 3 day process. And I made zero friends in my experience with my sorority that is why I dropped. Along with having problems with my big. I might also mention if they ask that I was going through personal problems.

mgandil · #7 06-02-2016, 04:53 PM

I also have zero evidence of my old sorority on social media and have never bad mouthed them. I was one in twenty girls in my pledge class so I honestly do not know if the other houses will even know I used to be affiliated.

JayhawkAOII · #8 06-02-2016, 04:58 PM

Yes they will. Sorority women talk to each other.

Titchou · #9 06-02-2016, 06:06 PM

Trust me - they know. And whether recs are required there or not, you need them to overcome this negative past event. Many groups won't pledge someone who pledged another group previously. And I certainly would NOT mention any "personal problems." That will be the kiss of death. IF someone should ask why you terminated your pledgeship, the better response is to say something along the lines of "I felt like I needed to take a broader look at all the groups at GMU thru formal recruitment."

thetalady · #10 06-02-2016, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgandil

My GPA is over a 3, and I already know exactly what to wear, how to style my hair, and what to say. We don't require reccomendations. GMU is up north so it isn't super competitive with it's rush like some schools down south. It's only a 3 day process. And I made zero friends in my experience with my sorority that is why I dropped. Along with having problems with my big. I might also mention if they ask that I was going through personal problems.

I hope that your GPA is WELL over 3.0. You will need it. You will not face the same criteria as a sophomore who is re-rushing that an incoming freshman will.

You will need to really consider how to make another sorority experience different, if you are lucky enough to get a bid the 2nd time around.

mgandil · #11 06-02-2016, 06:33 PM

Are they really going to care that much? I was never initiated into the other sorority. And it isnt as competitive at my school for sophomores, they give freshmen and sophomores the same priority.

Is it worth it to rush? I do not want to rush and get dropped by every sorority the first night.

jordanxo · #12 06-02-2016, 07:02 PM

I knew someone who was in this exact same situation, and she did get a bid to another sorority in the end. I definitely think that you should put your best foot forth and rush one more time! Like everyone has said, we cannot tell you if you're going to get a bid or not, but it's definitely worth a try if you are still wanting to be a member of a sorority. The other sororities will know that you did pledge a sorority previously. The best advice that I can give you is to follow pretty much everything that everyone else has said and to also be sure to keep an open mind while going through recruitment for a second time and present yourself well. Think about what you're looking for in a sisterhood and how you would want your sorority experience to be like in a new chapter. Good luck!!

Sciencewoman · #13 06-02-2016, 08:56 PM

Much good advice has been given...I agree that word will have gotten out because people know people and dropping right before initiation is pretty unusual and there will be hurt feelings, anger, etc. I hope you returned any gifts your big gave you and parted on good terms with your previous sorority.

In this situation, hair, make-up, clothes, freshman/sophomore status and even conversation will matter less -- members who know of the situation will be focused on whether they can trust your commitment, and whether you are someone who will make friends...or create drama.

If you want to join a sorority to make friends, be a friend, and contribute to something larger than yourself, then give it another try.

SimplyMe · #14 06-02-2016, 09:12 PM

Don't let the fear of not getting a bid stop you from re rushing. This is definitely worth a try. Just be yourself and see where the process takes you.
My biggest piece of advice is be kind to your old chapter when you come through. Not saying you're the type to be cold when you come through, but we've all experienced those PNMs who clearly don't want to be in your house and it's never fun for anyone. Just chat nicely with them and the round will be over soon enough.

FSUZeta · #15 06-02-2016, 09:23 PM

Sorority members WILL be worried whether you will honor your commitment should they offer you a bid, as Sciencewoman mentioned. And Titchou gave you the best response should you be asked why you quit. Do not tell them that you had personal problems. They may wonder if personal problems will cause you to quit their org.