Question for Sorority Girls

[SororityGirlAsh]

Hi! My name is Ashlyn, and I am in a sorority in Georgia. I apologize in advance if I’m posting in the wrong section. I am new to this and wasn’t sure where to post this! I joined a sorority my sophomore year of college, and I got engaged a few months or so after joining. I have lived with my fiancé most of my time while in a sorority while all of the other girls have either lived on the hall (we don’t have a house) or with other members of my sorority. I feel out of the loop because I do live with my fiancé, and I feel like it is looked down upon to live with a guy while in a sorority.However, I also feel like I am in a different stage of my life than everyone else is. Should I feel shame for not living with my other sisters? Does anyone in this forum have a boyfriend/fiancé or know someone that does or has lived with a their boyfriend/fiancé while in a sorority? Please comment if you do because I would feel SO much better knowing that I’m not the only one! Thank you!😊

[AnchorAlumna]

Whether or not you regard "shaking up" as a sin, not living with your sisters in some setting is going to make your experience of bonding with them a little different from the other sisters. There's something to be said for living with other people and getting to now them on that level. You're not going to share late-night confidences, sitting around somebody's room and sharing your thoughts and experiences.
You probably will have to make more of an effort to spend time there and be there so you DO share experiences together.

[NYCMS]

I agree with AnchorAlumna - your choice of living with your boyfriend means your time with your sisters is limited, therefore it cuts into the time needed to bond.

One thing I sometimes read on this board from pledges is that they expect bonding to happen almost instantly "because" they pledged the same house (no it doesn't but being with each other consistently does). Add into the mix the fact that you're not available much and that might make the other pledges less likely to want to spend time with you because they know you're not available and they want to be with girls who are. In that regard you are at a different stage of life since you're moving toward marriage and I suspect most of them aren't.

[SigmaCat]

From your other post, it sounds like you really do want to move in, but you're concerned you won't fit in at the hall because you'll be a year or so older than most of the other members on the hall. That's...not really anything to worry about. That said, neither is living with the person you're engaged to and will soon be marrying.

If it's going to be a huge adjustment to move into the chapter dorm floor, you're not particularly thrilled about moving in, and the chapter housing rules let you decide, then don't upend your life. But if you want to do it, take the opportunity. It's a good way to feel more a part of the group and you won't have the chance to do something like this again.

[SororityGirlAsh]

Thank y’all so much for replying!