what should I do?

[AKXgirl?]

Somebody please help me out. I pledged Alpha Kappa Chi local sorority in LSSU fall of '99. At the beginning it was fun - my relationships with everyone in the sorority were great. Now, halfway through my sophomore year, I am miserable. AKX is disorganized, and apathy has struck nearly everyone. Nothing gets done, except what i do, and no one cares about each other. We no longer have fun together. We are a name only, not a sisterhood. I live in the house, and it is nearly intolerable. I have thought about moving out, running for V.P. in attempts to change what is wrong, and if that doesn't work, i think that i would have to go inactive or quit (but I really don't want to). I also thought about founding a new local sorority on campus as well. I really have no clue what to do at this point, and I need good advice from someone who has been there. Please help me! I don't know how much more I can take.

[ZChi4Life]

Hey AKXgirl,
I'm going to send you an email about this. I may can help you out.

[coffeemug]

Hi! First...take a deep breath. I know how frustrating it is when you are part of an organization that is having serious internal problems (been there done that got the t-shirt!!) I also know how much worse it is when you are living in the house (no escape!)

It seems like you are very committed or you wouldn't be this upset about the problems. I would say try to take inventory are there other sisters who are frustrated (and could you all band together to help fix the problems?) Even if there is one other sister (your big perhaps) I have seen a handful of people be able to turn around chapters -it can work!! Try to take stock of what exactly the problems are - are you at a similar size to the other sororities on campus? is you programming calandar (socials, sisterhood events etc) similar to other groups? Does your pledge program promote unity and committment to the organzation??

Remember, the time right before breaks are the most stressful for a sorority house and sometimes getting away from each other for a few days is all you need to get a fresh perspective. Finally ALL chapters (local or national) have trouble, so while you feel like you are all alone you are not.

Take care and let me know if I can help!!

[33girl]

I also can say "been there done that got the t-shirt"! Every single greek organization has problems, no matter how pretty it might look on the outside. If you ever showed me an org where no one ever complained or was unhappy, I would run screaming from it - that's an org that is just a business, not a true family of brothers or sisters that care about each other. Believe me when I say I've wished there were times I didn't give a crap - it would be easier. But we wouldn't be upset if we didn't care.

Coffeemug gave very good advice. I'll add a few things:

Try to do "fun" things - not just the things that are programmed and mandatory. If everyone is stressed and you need to cut back on your calendar for a while it might help. Especially if you have a small chapter - there are times when everyone is having a semester from hell. Bring this up at a meeting.

I know what it's like to live in the house and feel like you are in the eye of the hurricane. Find a place where you can disappear and de-stress (for me, it was a friend's house off-campus). When you feel like you're going to scream, get out of the house for couple hours till you feel more relaxed. If you stay there and try to solve every crisis and problem it will drive you nuts.

If there have been feelings of competition or rivalry with the other sororities - forget about them. Just be the best Alpha Kappa Chi you all know how to be. That is something no one else can do. The only sorority you have to be better than is the one you were yesterday. Good luck & keep us up to date!

[Dewgirl]

I've got the whole outfit

One thing our sorority did this semester to fix our internal problems was not take on any pledges, and devote ourselves entirely to fixing our own problems. I don't know if that's allowed within NPC, however.

Something which really helped us was anonymous surveys, with open ended questions, such as "What do you feel are the most pressing problems within the group? What do you feel you personally could do to help? What do you think others could do to help? The answers to these were then compiled and handed out to everyone. Then, on our Initiation day, we sat down as a group, went through the surveys, and talked about them. There were lots and lots of tears, but by the time we were finished, we had accomplished a lot, and brought everyone back together. Then when we had initiation later that day, it meant so much more to everyone because it really did feel like we were renewing ourselves. Good luck, feel free to email me privately if you'd like.

Ginger