making non-greeks understand...

[AGDsexysmoker]

the other day, i was at a friend's house and he had this movie made by the guy who also made "Road Trip" (Todd something is his name)... anyway the movie is a documentary about pledging and getting into the fraternity, i believe it's called "Fraternity Row" or something... anyway, not important... i watched the movie w/ two of my guy friends who are not greek. the movie showed the pledges getting hazed by the other brothers, etc. after the movie was over, the three of us got into a discussion about why people pledge. they understood the hazing, apparently (how it supposedly makes a pledge stronger, respectful..), but they did not understand why someone would want to GO THROUGH all the hassle just to be in a fraternity/sorority. i told them i have made some of my life-long friends through my sorority but they just said, "i can make friends and not be greek.. i can have fun and not be greek..." which is true, but i believe there are so many more benefits. i was getting so frustrated b/c they did not accept any answer i gave them as to why one would want to be part of such an organization. how can i make others who are non-greek (and stubborn about the entire concept) understand what an amazing thing being greek is?


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it's hard being a princess...AGD

[BrianMUDU]

I don't think anyone will fully understand until it affects them personally in some way. For example, some random charity might not care much for fraternities until one day a chapter decides to donate its proceeds from a philanthropy to them. Then they understand, "Hey, these greek organizations really do positive things." Otherwise, I don't think much of our opinions matter to a lot of people. They grow up connecting the words fraternity and sorority and greek to Animal House and hazing. It's their perception, and that is hard to change sometimes, but not every time. For example, my parents didn't know very much about greek life before I pledged, and still they were a little worried. But then they visited for parents weekend, moms' weekend, dads' weekend, came to initiation, etc. They saw how friendly my brothers are, listen to me go on and on about the good things we did and the history and tradition we have, then they had a new point of view.

Brian

[AKA_Monet]

Yes, I agree folks often mis-label greeks as being...whatever... And it makes you sick, not to mention tired of trying to explain your experiences and benefits within your sorority or fraternity.

Obviously all of us love our F/S's 'til the day we die. Some of us may be even beyond! So if we love our organizations so much, what is there to explain? Do we have to "prove" our legitimacy of our existence? Especially when some organizations may have surpassed 150 years!!!

So, if friend cannot see all the wonderful things about your organization... You know what I am going to say...

[MafiaCSUS]

Well, in a lot of cases their questions are good. Why would people want to go through the pledging process? It makes NO sense to make future brothers chug a alcoholoci beverage. It makes no sense to make a pledge do anything disrespectful to themselves. Any person with dignity and honor should NOT do anything that is demeaning to themselves, even if they "think" they want to.

I would be willing to bet that 3/4's of Greek organizations do their developement process wrong... this is why some organizations are adopting 4 year developement programs. Sure, the anti-hazing movement has gone too far, but get real! Learn how to be a pledge educator and more people will be likely to join one of our organizations.

[33girl]

Originally posted by MafiaCSUS:
Well, in a lot of cases their questions are good. Why would people want to go through the pledging process? It makes NO sense to make future brothers chug a alcoholoci beverage. It makes no sense to make a pledge do anything disrespectful to themselves. Any person with dignity and honor should NOT do anything that is demeaning to themselves, even if they "think" they want to.

I think you are confusing pledging with hazing. No, I wouldn't want to be hazed needlessly for 10 weeks. I wouldn't want people to make me drink and beat the crap out of me. I would want a program that teaches me about my sorority, my chapter sisters, and the Greek community at large as preparation for initiation. If my org didn't give me that, then I would feel cheated.

I would be willing to bet that 3/4's of Greek organizations do their developement process wrong... this is why some organizations are adopting 4 year developement programs. Sure, the anti-hazing movement has gone too far, but get real! Learn how to be a pledge educator and more people will be likely to join one of our organizations.

The "4 year development programs" have their good points, but from what I've seen, it seems like some of them do very little to help you create bonds. It just seems like you, a solo person, begin pledging whenever and get initiated whenever. I hope that's not the case, but that's how some of them look on paper. The main reason behind a pledge class is so you can bond with a small group (your pledge sisters) before you can go on to bonding with ever larger groups (your chapter, your school's Greek community, your national, the nationwide Greek community). There has to be some structure maintained - it's a Greek organization, not a McDonald's drive through.

We should not just cram all the info into 6 weeks and then forget about it, but that's why we have yearly membership tests. I think that's a great use of your Founder's Day - talk about the things you first learned when pledging and take time out to appreciate them.



[This message has been edited by 33girl (edited June 03, 2001).]

[moe.ron]

I've seen chapters with the 4 years program. Their brotherhood is as strong as those with 6 to 8 weeks educational period (i.e. Pledging). I have also seen chapters with traditional program which has little or no brotherhood. I think it's up to the chapter to do the best it can for the its members. Every program has its plus and minus. I'm personally in full favor of the 4 years program that my fraternity has. Though I do have a problem when chapters are forced to adopt them.

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New York Eta #323
Buffalo State '99

[HeidiHo]

From the outside looking in you can't understand it, from the inside looking out you can't explain it.
Heidi

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by HeidiHo:
From the outside looking in you can't understand it, from the inside looking out you can't explain it.
Heidi

I agree.
I agree with you too, Soror!

I can remember being a non-Greek back in 1990 or so and DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO QUESTION those Sorors on campus OR EVEN THOSE SORORS IN MY FAMILY or CLOSE FAMILY FRIENDS.

So, naturally, I am not one who likes to or wants to "make others understand" or JUSTIFY ANYTHING to ANYONE. PERIOD!

[MafiaCSUS]

The 4 year programs started off slow, because it is a new idea, but I think once it gets going (like they are now) they will be awesome. The 4 years do in fact have an awesome way of building brotherhood

[MafiaCSUS]

Originally posted by Hootie:
I am gonna sound like a dork, but what exactly is the four year program. I think I'm getting an idea from the posts of the concept, but I want to be sure before I post my opinion.
Thanks,
Hootie

It's OK, it is a new idea in the Greek System. Since I am a SigEp, I will talk about what we do a little. Instead of having a 6-10 week system where pledges are supposed to learn "respect" and about the fraternity, we spread this over a 4 year period. First there is the Sigma stage where new members (notice MEMBERS) get introduced to the fraternity. Usually lasts 6-12 weeks. Then the Phi Challenge (12 weeks-1 year) is where members get introduced to the school, Epsilon challenge is te community and Brother Mentor stage helps brothers get involved with their future. I don't want to go into much detail, but in each stage you are introduced to new things about the fraternity and what it means to be a SigEp. The idea is higher retention rate and brothers stay actively involved. Right when a member is inducted, he is a member.. a brother... some other fraternities are starting to adopt systems like this. IF implemented correctly, it is an AWESOME experience. For more information on our system, our national site is www.sigep.org

[moe.ron]

Hey Mafia, I'm a Sigep from New York Eta.

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New York Eta #323
Buffalo State '99

[gammazetagrl]

it's hard to make independents understand unless they are Greek themselves, which is obviously not gonna happen if they aren't open minded to even go through rush in the first place. thanks to media, pop culture and what not, a lot of people grow up thinking negatively about the Greek system (except legacies)but thankfully there are those who, by the time they get to college, become open minded to even give it a try. i guess it's just a matter of people having their own opinions and not force them to change it but just respect it...although it's wrong to keep giving a Greek crap about "you just paid for your friends" stuff like that. UGH. and all i respond to this is "if i paid for my friends, then i can never pay enough". Nuff said.

[shadokat]

Well said...my thoughts exactly

Originally posted by HeidiHo:
From the outside looking in you can't understand it, from the inside looking out you can't explain it.
Heidi