Remembering Our Loved Ones

[CrimsonTide4]

With all of those who are a part of the GC family having lost loved ones recently, I was inspired to start this thread. We know of the richness of the lives who have gone on to get their reward and are resting in peace. I believe that each life has a lesson, history, and a story to share.

This thread is for sharing memories of loved ones who have gone on. I like to read about people's lives and legacies.

Please share whatever is on your heart about your loved one.

[MeezDiscreet]

i wasn't too close to my uncle who passed recently. he was my mom's uncle. although he was only 67, he had been battling alzheimer's for the past 10 years and was a bit reclusive, understandably.

my aunt, Mrs. Eva Jean Bradford Baker, was like the family matriarch after my grandmother passed when i was in the 1st grade. she was never able to have children of her own but she became "mama jean" to 5 kids. it was like she was everyone's godmother!

she worked so much with the youth at her church where she was actually a founding member. in the last few years, when she developed emphysema, she continued doing her work. in the last 2 years, she's had to carry an oxygen tank--and would carry that with her to church service on sundays, the church pantry on tuesday mornings, the teen rap sessions on tuesday nights, and whenever. she never let that stop her.

when i was little and would go to church, i would always run up to her with my hands out because she always carried a bunch of boxes of sun-maid raisins in her purse to pass out. she didn't want us eating a bunch of candy. but if for some reason she didn't have raisins, she would give us butterscotch candy, which i really didn't like but since it was candy, i ate it. lol.

she was, however, unable to make it to my graduation as it would have required her to travel and she wasn't quite up to it. but my last memory of her was at Christmas when she said that us young people were going to have to start cooking dinner. she said that we are grown now and they are getting old. i hate that she won't be able to taste my first shot at her specialty--italian cream cake.

*thanks ct4 for this thread. it was quite therapeutic*

[WhiteDaisy128]

My mother passed away on March 10th. She is so missed...things get better each day, but there is and always will be such a hole in my heart. This is a very nice thread.

This is what I have on my web page about my mom...

Barbara Allen (Bonar) Moore
May 20, 1948 - March 10, 2003

We Miss You.


God's Garden

God looked around His garden
And found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth,
and saw your tired face.
He put His arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering
He knew that you were in pain
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough,
and hills were hard to climb.
So He closed your weary eyelids,
And whispered "Peace be thine".
It broke our hearts to lose you
but you didn't go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.


This page is in Loving memory of my Mom, one of my best friends. Mom was born May 20, 1948 to Earl and Joyce Bonar in Akron, OH She had one sister, Kathy Mainzer, who now lives in California. She attended Firestone High School in Akron, OH. She was very active on the Rifle Team and was a Junior Olympic Marksman. She went to the University of Akron for her undergrad years where she was an active member of the Delta Gamma women's Fraternity. She held many positions in the Fraternity, including 1st Vice President during her senior year.
Mom met my Dad (Gary E. Moore) while they were both teaching at high schools in Marietta, OH. They married shortly after and attended Ohio State University for both Masters and PhD degrees. After moving around - Alabama and then Indiana, my brother (Micah Matthew Moore) and I were born. Once we moved to Louisiana, mom stopped working as a university professor to raise her kids. She was amazing! She worked very closely with Micah and I's schools and eventually became the PTA president in our High School. After her presidency, she accepted a teaching position at our high school teaching clothing design and foods and nutrition.
In December of 2001, mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had an emergency mastectomy right after Christmas. The cancer had spread through her lymph nodes, but they could not see any signs of it in other body parts at the time. After 8 grueling rounds of chemo, she said she didn't want anymore. It was too hard on her body. She then endured 5 and a half weeks of radiation - every day. In August of 2002, she was declared cancer free. However, she continued to feel sick and lethargic. In September of 2002, after some tests, it was determined that the cancer had spread to her liver. This was a tragedy for our family. She underwent a biological hormonal treatment for 4 months while her body recovered from the radiation. In January of 2003, it was determined that the biological treatment was not working and that she would have to go back to chemo. After only two rounds of Chemo, in early February, mom was admitted to the hospital with dangerously low sodium levels. After two weeks in the hospital, mom was moved to a nursing-care hospice facility. She resided here only two weeks before being admitted to the hospital again, this time for the last time. Her body was shutting down. We were all prepared for what was about to happen and we had all talked to mom and made peace with her and with what was happening. She was not afraid. On March 10, 2003, my mother finally beat the battle with cancer and claimed her prize -
eternal life with the Lord.


I owe everything that I am today to my mother. She was an amazing woman who cared for her family and her students with undying devotion. Not only was she my mom, but she was one of my best friends, my teacher, my councilor, my mentor, my sorority sister, and my hero. She was so brave through out her battle and I know now that she watches over my family as an angel. I am so thankful that I had 21 wonderful years with her. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
If you knew my Mom, you were one lucky person...if you didn't, you missed out on one fantastic woman. She was truly one of a kind.


In my Father's house are many rooms;
if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with
me that you also may be where I am.
John 14:2&3

[btb87]

After posting in the "Soror Ladygreek has lost a loved one" thread, I really began thinking about my grandfather, who was more a father to me than my own natural father.

He died just 2 days after his 83rd birthday (2 and a half years ago) of complications due to a stroke. He and my grandmother reared me from the age of 2, after my parents separated. Neither he nor my grandmother had more than a 6th grade education, and they couldn't afford to send any of their 5 children to college, so even before I was old enough to understand the concept of college, I knew I was going! There were many times I wanted to give up, but I felt like I couldn't disappoint my family.

My grandfather was a hard working man, and growing up in rural North Carolina without formal educations, there wasn't much jobwise that he or my grandmother could do. My grandmother was a domestic until she retired, and my grandfather worked in the hot sun patching potholes in city streets. Before that, he and my grandmother did sharecropping and farming, planting gardens, working in fields. It was hard work, but they did what they had to do to provide for their family. I know their work was demeaning, but I know that I never knew hunger and always had a roof over my head and clothes on my body, all because of their provision.

Unfortunately, they couldn't really help me with my homework if I had problems, but there were other areas where they taught me a lot more than what was in textbooks. I learned respect for my elders (and yes, I still say yes/no ma'am, yes/no sir) and learned how to talk to people. I believe because of my time with them, I have a love of older people. They can teach you so much!

I apologize for the length of this post, but there are so many memories! This isn't just a tribute to my grandfather, but to my grandmother as well who turned 85 on June 3rd and is still going strong.

As I sit here typing this, I've had to stop and wipe tears. Although I left home 16 years ago and only see/saw the grands a couple of times a year, it's hard to go home now and know that I won't see my grandfather come out of the "back room" (as we called their bedroom) or listen to his many stories. He and my grandmother shared 61 years together, and I thank God for them. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for them.

CT4, thank you for this thread.

[Lady2000]

My spring semester was a truely rough one. I come from a big family (10 aunts and uncles, 25 first cousins, etc. on my mother's side alone) but despite the size we are very, very close. One of my youngest first cousins was killed this April and then another of my cousins was killed in June.

The first death was hard because of all the fond memories that we all shared as cousins. The second death was even harder because the police refused to release my cousin to us for a long time so we had to delay burial for a while.

We would often play together in a park across from my grandmother's house (which is still in our family today). The most innocent, purest love that we shared with one another was the best memory that I could have of my cousins. I don't care where we are in life, we ALWAYS got together and had a good time. We played together, got whooped together, shared with one another and I can honestly say that I would do anything to have them back just for one day, just to say I love you!

About 9 years ago my Aunt passed. She was so very special to me in a lot of ways. She was very young when she was taken from us as a result of heart failure. In my eyes at the time, she was the only somebody who loved me and she was my refuge when home was bad. My fondest memories of her include: her doing my cousins hair and my hair before we went to church, I can remember her being the life of every party and to this day her stories keep her wearing that crown, I can remember the great Lazagna and Mac-n-cheese that only she could make and most of all I can remember the times when she would take up for me and understand me the way no one every could.

CT4, I have to DITTO that thank you for this thread. Through this writing I have let out some major weight that was on my heart. Once again thank you.

[treblk]

My dearest friend Ajeenah Bey passed way almost a year ago from a heart attach caused by a blood clot. I've yet to REALLY deal with her death. We met each other in high school, she being a year younger then me, in our African Haitian Dance class and have been friends ever since. She even set me up with her boyfriends best friend. We had a lot of double dates
She was one of those people, that no matter what was going on with her, she had your back. I remember many phone calls that lasted for hours and hours, talking about nothing. I was so proud of her when she decided to get her B.A. and was almost done and was even happy when she decided to pledge DST at her university (never made it )
My family knew her family well and would spend some holidays together. It pains me even today to think of her, when ever I go back to CA to visit my family, I HAVE to stop by her mothers house and talk to her urn.
I have never lost anyone close to me. I've been blessed to have such a wonderful friend and when ever I think about or tell stories about Oakland, CA or high school or just home , I realize she is my story.

[miseducated]

dang y'all goin make me cry
Writing ones thoughts is a good way to release emotions from thehearts. I pray the good Lord continues to guide and bless you all. There is a reason for everything, nothing happens by chance, luck or coincidence, ur loved one was placed in ur path in life, for a reason. I pray that by reflecting on the shared memories, that reason will be revealed to you through his Spirit.

[LADY_1908]

Originally posted by btb87
who was more a father to me than my own natural father.

My Grandfather passed on shortly after having a stroke too. He left me a lifetime a memories.....

Learning to Roller Skate
Learning to play tennis
My first Father/Daughter Dinner Dance
My first cross country trip (Yes this man was bold enough to drive three children - me, my brother and cousin - from Philadelphia to California one summer)
My first trip to Canada
My first ( and only so far) trip to Europe
Learning to Drive
Teaching me about my family heritage
Leaving for college
Saying "Yes" he would walk me down the aisle at my wedding (He had tears in his eyes then)
The pride in his eyes when I told him that he and my son would share the same middle name (He had tears in his eyes then too)

I am so proud of my grandfather. He came from large family. He did not go to college BUT he was the first African American Supervisor for the railroad in this region. He taught me to always be proud and to learn from my mistakes. He taught me to never give up. He taught me to have faith in God. He taught me by example.

[blackerican]

My Nana passed away on Sept.16 of 2002....I can't believe that its almost a year that she's been gone. She was an incredible woman....she had 13 children, 31 grandkids, 30 great-grands, and one great,great-grandchild!!!!! She instilled in me to know who I was and to never, ever compromise myself as a woman. She was my personal cheering section and no matter what I did she always had a way of looking at the posititve side of things (even when I screwed up big time!!!!). Her birthday is Aug. 28th and I'm not really sure that I'm ready to come to grips that she's gone...I just keep telling myself that I'll see her again!!!! Thanks CT4...I really needed this!!!!!!

[Virtuous Woman]

Thanks for this thread. I lost my grandmother Lois on June 25th. She was the first person who I was close to that I've lost. That was/is one of the hardest things ever for me to deal with. She was such a wonderful example of godliness, class, and femininity (sp?). I love her and miss her very much.

FYI: Her life was chronicled in a book called Grandma Lois Remembers by Ann Morris.

Lois Sanders 3/7/1920- 6/25/2002

[FLKING]

In Memory of Patricia Ann Baitey-King

I hurt cause you have left me, and I am still here
I promise to keep memories of you vivid and crystal clear
I have often dreaded the time when you would travel alone
Please let me take a minute to thank you for the love you have shown
From the time I was was little, you treated me like your own
I appreciate your loving actions, even more now that I am grown
No matter the situation..you were always there
To give me...your girl... tender love and care
I remember the long talks we had...just you and I
Now you understand the reason its so hard to say good bye
I hope you knew in your heart....that I felt this way
Hope you can forgive for not expressing it sooner than today
I can hear you tell me now, be strong for life must go on
And if ever I should need you to call and you'd come
Life is to short, so enjoy it while you can
For no one knows when they will join my Aunt Pat in the Promise Land
My Aunt Pat was a phenomenal woman...truly one of a kind
Her flesh may be leaving, but she will remain fresh in my mind
Now as I conclude, I say to my my Uncle Jeff and cousins
Val, Vickie, Chris, Jeff, Andre' and last but not least Dee
I want to thank you yall for sharing Auntie Pat with me. I hope I will one day mean as much to my son as nieces as my Aunt Pat meant to me.

This was the poem I wrote and recited at my aunt's funeral on 05*22*99. She left me at 5:15 pm on 05*18*99. She struggled with brain cancer for 9 months before she was called home. On the day of her death, I was supposed to be on my way to school to take exams. I talked to her before I left the house and she told me to go take the test and she would be around when I got done. I got in the car and drove five minutes towards school, but somehow I made a u turn to head towards the hospital. When I got there she had taken her last breath five minutes before I arrived. She told her husband to tell me she loved me and that she was sorry she left before I got there. She had a sick feeling that I was on my way after all. On 05*18*00 at 5:15 pm I was inducted into Sigma Beta Delta. I always thought that was a strange time for an induction ceremony so I asked my professor why he chose such an odd time. He told me that he was proud of me and being that I was the only Afro-American inductee, he wanted to make sure I would have ample time to get to the civic center from work. He did not want me to be late
Thanks Aunt Pat...I know that was your doing!

[NOWorNEVER]

In December of 2002, my great grandmother, M. Elizabeth Jones passed. She was 92 years old. Everybody called her "Jonesy." We weren't as close as my grandmother and I are, but when I was younger, I remember her trying to teach me how to play Crazy 8s. She LOVED cards and she LOVED bingo.

This is not really recent, but my grandfather, Albert Hays Sr. passed away 3 years ago. I couldn't believe he died, but he was in so much pain. He loved movies...of all kinds. He had the biggest movie collection of anyone I know. He liked playing tricks on his grandkids too. One day, I was in the mall, and I heard someone behind me who said a phrase EXACTLY like my grandpa used to say it. In fact, it sounded just like my grandpa. I turned around real quick in disbelief and went on about my business. I miss him so much.

[Gyrl7]

James Henry Ray 8/15/1914 - 7/7/2002...........Im still in shock that Grandaddy isn't here bagging tomatoes and zuchini for my moms to pick up. Im still in shock that Grandaddy isn't here shaking his cane at me with his playful threats for no reason or just cracking jokes on him. Im in shock that he passed before I really had a chance to say my proper good bye to him. Although, his death was expected it was still untimely.

Vick Sylvester Ray 1/1/1950 - 8/10/2001........I think of all my relatives who have passed on to their after life, his death was taken the hardest. It came as a complete shock to everyone. He died in the midst of a major heat wave. The sad part is that he died alone and was dead for almost 8 hours before he was found(autopsy reports later confirmed). And he was soooo young.....
Vick had a nick name for all 17 of his nieces and nephews......mine was Myrtle......ok YAWL BET NOT LAUGH EITHA.......LOL. I don't know where he got it from, but no one was allowed to call me that but him. Actually, all my deceased relatives had a nick name for me.....

I can't type anymore............memories are coming back and my eyes are starting to water.......

RIP TO THE FOLLOWING FAM'LY MEMBERS:

Emma Jane Ray
James Henry Ray Jr.
Thomas Ray
Juanita Ray
Vilonia Parker
Vick Sylvester Ray
James Henry Ray Sr.

[ladygreek]

Victoria Charlena Caston Chapman, Ed.D. 3/14/19 - 7/21/03

Daughter of the Rev. Dr. Jonathan Lyle Caston and Violetta Charlena Caston Davis, sister of Gladys and Emily, wife of Willie Edward Chapman, mother of Sharon and Vicki, and grandmother of Leslie.

Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., Top Ladies of Distinction, American Business Women's Association, Gay Dekkers Bridge Club, Girl Scouts of America, Coalition of 100 Black Women, high school principal... in other words my Mom was a busy lady, never one to sit idly by, and never one to just be a member. She had leadership positions in everything she did. She taught me it is not enough to just belong--it does no good unless you give of yourself to your fullest ability.

We mourn, yet we rejoice as she joins her parents, husband, and sister, Gladys in His Holy Temple.

[JinglesSpr99]

OO~OOP Sorors,
I am glad to see that someone created a board for this. My sympathy goes out to each and every one of you. My grandmother just passed three weeks ago. It hurts to know that she is not there. But it is nice to know that she is not in pain anymore. But even though she lived in alabama.. just knowing that she isn't there is hard.