I'm an older student, can I still join/pledge?

[For_My_Girls]

I never went to college, I was to busy skipping high school!
So at 17 I got my G.E.D and tried my hand at community college at the request- no scratch that, demand of my mother!

Foward that to late 2004, with two small kids, and no education, I decided to go back to school to get a better education, a better career and to set an example for my girls. So thru a community college I got an Associate degree and now I am tranfering to a University to get my
Bachelors and eventually get my Masters.

Ok, I'm rambling......But now you know my college history, when I transfer to a University can I try and join? I'm 31 now. Is there a max. age limit? or does it vary from sorority to sorority?

[AlphaFrog]

As far as I know, there is no max age...

But, unless you're going to a very liberal college with a non-competitive Greek system, your choices are probably going to be limited. You might do better looking for a service sorority or a professional fraternity.

[adpiucf]

There isn't an age limit, so long as you have not completed a bachelor's you are eligible to be considered for membership.

However, if the majority of the sorority members at this 4 year university are 18-22 years old, they may not want a mom in her 30s as a member. Conversely, you may not want to participate in an organization where the majority of the members are this young. A 10 year difference in age is huge from 20 to 30, and the "maturity" level you are dealing with may annoy you. I know I would be!

Sororities offer a fine social outlet for collegiate members, as well as service and friendship, but it is also a large time committment.... your time might be better served in an organization catering to older students, or you might want to seek membership in a non-collegiate sorority, or a professional or service organization (some of which are Greek).

Do seek out the best options for you and if sorority membership on your campus is something you would like to try, by all means-- give it a shot. But I think given your age and stage in life, if it were me, I'd look into another activity. I just don't think you'd find much in common with these ladies at this point in both of your lives. There are always exceptions, however, but this is the norm.

[AChiOhSnap]

I echo everything that AlphaFrog and adpiucf said. I'm pretty much going to say the same thing I've said on this topic before, but even on top of the age difference being a huge automatic barrier (at least at most schools -- there are some out there that wouldn't mind) a sorority can be a taxing time commitment.

At most schools, sorority new member periods require a set number of hours a week (I averaged about 15 hours a week with mandatory/"pretty much" mandatory activities when I was a new member) and I'd imagine that would be a huge strain on top of being a full time student and mother of two young kids. At least with NPC sororities, the new member timeframe isn't really all that flexible, unless you have a *very* small new member class. Even if the sorority was completely willing to work around your schedule, you'd still have fit in all those hours a week somewhere.

To cut to the chase, all this is really neither here nor there -- I'm pretty much going to say that there aren't really too many traditional Greek systems that would bid a woman of your status. It all depends on your school but an NPC sorority system that bid a woman of your status would be an anomaly.

That's not to say that you can't try to find a sisterhood. In fact, there are many community/non-collegiate sororities whose members come from all walks of life and that may be better tailored to your schedule/mommy duties. Beta Sigma Phi is one and you can go to betasigmaphi.org for information. Good luck.

[REE1993]

Does your college have NPC sororities only?

We had a mom pledge, who was around 30. I will tell you that she had some time commitments issues - kids getting sick, school events, etc. She did her service time and made some meetings, but as a pledge class, we did have to work harder to schedule "mandatory" meetings and events (some things had to be done with every member of the pledge class, in order to make it to initiation).

She did initiate, but soon after, became less involved, doing only what was necessary to stay active.

You may need to show that you can commit to "mandatory" meetings and such, and be available on the spur of the moment any time of day or night (that may be considered hazing now).

You also need to consider how you may feel having a 20-year old telling you "what to do", and feel silly doing some of the "less mature" activities.

Some professional GLOs may get together less frequently, and have less "mandatory" events and activities. Worst case scenario, you don't get a bid (if you are rushing NPC). If you can handle possible rejection, go ahead and do your best.

Lastly, there are non-collegiate GLOs out there.
I wish you luck in your search.

[barbino]

There are several issues here that need to be addressed. First, as a former "rush counselor" I would encourage you to go through formal rush if you really desire sorority membership. It is a great way to see the houses, and learn what each is like. You will meet the GLO members, and make make new friends from your group, which is important when one is new on campus. This way you can learn what chapters you might be interested in, and which chapters would be interested in having you as a member. However, many GLO's automatically cut juniors, even if they have outstanding GPA's.
Every set of circumstances is different, depending on the chapters at your campus. I have heard of houses that have embraced an older sister with children to the extent of babysitting if needed. NPC sororities have learned that modern life is not always "traditional." If you don't at least give it a try, you will never know just what might have been. If membership in a sorority is your heart's desire, don't hold back. Let your enthusiasm show. Good Luck, and let us know what you decide!
Barbino

[KSUViolet06]

It varies from sorority to sorority. There is no age limit to participate in recruitment, however there's no guarantee that you will receive a bid (invitation) to join.

Something to keep in mind is that most collegiate sorority members are women in their late teens/early 20's (like 18-22 or 23). Many girls in that age group might not be able to relate to someone who is 30 with children. You should also consider whether you can really relate to women in that age group as well.

Also, the new member program is very time consuming. For example, when I was a new member, we had weekly mandatory NM meetings.and weekly all chapter meetings as well. In addition, we needed to attend 85% of all chapter events each month (which includes other chapter's community service events, Greek Life speakers, etc). We also had overnight events like Chapter Retreat.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by For_My_Girls

I never went to college, I was to busy skipping high school!
So at 17 I got my G.E.D and tried my hand at community college at the request- no scratch that, demand of my mother!

Foward that to late 2004, with two small kids, and no education, I decided to go back to school to get a better education, a better career and to set an example for my girls. So thru a community college I got an Associate degree and now I am tranfering to a University to get my
Bachelors and eventually get my Masters.

Ok, I'm rambling......But now you know my college history, when I transfer to a University can I try and join? I'm 31 now. Is there a max. age limit? or does it vary from sorority to sorority?

I think it's great what you've achieved.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I think it's great what you've achieved.

Ditto! I also agree with what everyone else has said in this thread as well.

I have to ask the OP this, why do you want to join an NPC sorority? Is it to make friends and have a sisterhood? Even if they're 10+ years younger than you? Their interests, priorities and time committments are going to be far different than yours. You are at two completely different stages in life.

I am not trying to be mean and certainly not shallow. You deserve an honest opinion and please don't take this as my saying you shouldn't try. I don't know you. I don't know your life interests or your reasons. I don't know the campus you will be attending. You certainly have a chance in getting a bid depending on the campus and the Chapter(s), but you need to be realistic in your expectations. I anticipate your choices as being very limited.

If this is what you truly want to do, then go for it. Some additional advice, I think your chances would be far better with an informal Recruitment process rather than a formal if that option is available to you. This would give the actives more time to get to know you in a laid back setting.

[SigKapCoug]

I kind of feel like you wouldn't want to if you thought about it - are you interested in hanging out with 18 year olds? You'll also be missing out on some sister-bonding by not being able to live together, and not going out to parties together and things like that.

I feel like though I would be friends with someone like yourself, it would probably be harder to relate than with my other collegians - I don't know what it's like to have kids, or my own family, work full time, or have to pay my own bills.

[FloridaTish]

I would like to chime in on this one as a mom in my 30's.

I applaud all that you are working to accomplish and wanting to be a positive role model for your girls. However, I think what should be most important to you is getting your degree and being a good mother. I understand wanting to be part of a greek organization, but the time commitment required to be an active member of a collegiate chapter may directly impact your abilities as a mom.

I'm not saying that you can't do both, but I know first hand the amount of time I put into the chapter I advise as an alumna and at times, I feel bad that it is time that I am not spending with my daughter. However the time required for me as an alum is dramatically less than that of an active sister. I couldn't imagine giving up the amount of hours required of an active and choose a social activity over spending time with my daughter.

Yes, moms ar entitled to have a social life, but when you become a mother, priorities change. Maturity has hopefully set in and I can say first hand that there is no way I could go into a social setting with a bunch of 18-22 year olds and NOT feel out of place. I consider my self to be very outgoing and social, but there is just a basic difference in maturity and life experience, where I find myself laughing to myself sometimes, because I feel "old" when I am around them.

I adore my sisters in the collegiate chapter and I love that I can provide guidance, direction and advice to them when it is needed and asked. That being said, could I imagine myself being and active part of the chapter being now in my 30's. Heck no!

You are a mother of two (i'm sure adorable!) little girls...they are your sorority for life and I think that focusing on your studying & being a mom is the best example you can set while finishing your degree...

Best of luck to you!

[BabyPiNK_FL]

My chapter pledged and initiated a 30 year old mother of an 8 year old. I wasn't around at the time, but I heard she was an amazing person and did what time allowed her to do.

Definitely focus on your kids and you education and yourself. But what's the harm in rushing? None really. And I don't question your motives at all. Sometimes people really just want to experience sisterhood and the positivity that sorority life has and I feel like it's sad we (NPC) don't encourage alumnae growth like some other organizations do. I'm not saying to have a free for all, but how can we say "not for college years alone" and not really encourage others to share in the experience at any level because they didn't have the chance? I rushed as a junior and had some wonderful people not convinced me I would have never joined and regretted it.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by HeavenslilAngel

You could always pursue alum initiation into a sorority after graduation or before depending on the rules which I'm not sure what those are timing wise.

It's been said before, but for the sake of this post, I will say it again.

Alum Initation is not the answer to everything.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by HeavenslilAngel

Due to you having an Associates degree you could pursue alum initiation sooner than later. Good luck!

An Associate's degree does one preclude a woman from rushing, therefore she would generally not be eligible for AI.

[sarasmile]

I agree with pretty much everything else that has already been said here.

Also - another important point...would you be a full time student when you went back to get your Bachelor's? At the vast majority (if not all) universities, you have to be a full time student in order to participate in recruitment.

(I'm assuming there's at least a possibility that you might be going to school part time, while working to support/raise your family.)