A disconnect with legacies?

NutBrnHair · #1 08-09-2011, 12:56 PM

Each year when recruitment begins, I think about how to improve the experience of legacies and how to educate collegiate chapters on how to deal with them.

In my mind, there seems to be a disconnect for many collegians -- while actives dream of the day they might share Chi Omega with their daughters and "knit booties in red and yellow" (as one of our song lyrics says) -- sometimes it's quite easy not to give an alum's daughter a fair chance in the process.

I do realize that all legacies are not created equal. They come with varying qualifications as well as mothers or sisters who are not dedicated alumnae, but I do feel that each legacy deserves a fair shot.

Former National President, Kirk Cocke Hassell refered to legacies as the "diamonds in our own back yard."

Over the years, I have spoken to many excited mothers and many who were heart-broken. I truly do support the active chapter's right to select their own members -- just as we alumnae did when we were in school, but I'm asking that they make sure they've given that legacy a fair chance and not release her simply because she "looked around the room" or "seemed shy."

We all love hearing the stories of young alumnae rocking their babies to sleep singing beloved sorority songs. We give stuffed animals representing sorority mascots to our friends daughters. We enjoy seeing toddlers wearing the t-shirts exclaiming, "I'm a Chi Omega Legacy."

Let's just hope that our collegiate Sisters will weigh all of this when sitting in selection sessions and choosing their new members. A good and fair chance is all I'm asking.

carnation · #2 08-09-2011, 01:04 PM

I wish I knew the answer. I guess we all have those songs we sing to our legacies and all the baby legacy clothing-"Future ABC".

And yet we have all those legacies at big schools now, far more than a pledge class can hold--

And you're also right about the lame reasons that some chapters have cut legacies. The lamest one I head recently: "We heard her best friend "Sarah" was in another sorority and we thought she'd go there. What? "Sarah" isn't Greek? Oh well."

It's all so complex and disturbing.

baci · #3 08-09-2011, 01:18 PM

I will stick my neck out here and say I know that if my daughter does not have the "right look" when it is time for her recruitment that legacy won't mean anything at numerous schools. She can have a dream resume' and I can be the most active alum, but it all won't matter. I have already prepared myself years ago. I still have hope.

KSUViolet06 · #4 08-09-2011, 01:24 PM

Some thoughts:

To be fair, these are 19-21 year old women you're talking about. On some level, you can't expect them to make decisions just as say, a 40 year old alumna would. Don't assume (and I'm not saying you are, just putting this out there) that there is some "war on legacies" going on. It's just that at many schools there are TOO many to give them the careful consideration they should be getting.

Also, with the RFM placing more women and chapter sizes going up everywhere, there are going to be tons more legacies coming along (as my generation starts to have children.)

Another note:

I think it's all about EDUCATION on both sides. Collegians need to be eucated on the importance of considering legacies in whatever way your selection policy dictates.

On the same token, alumnae need to be educated on the policies and be prepared for the fact that legacy in this day an age doesn't = automatic bid.

NutBrnHair · #5 08-09-2011, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Some thoughts:

To be fair, these are 19-21 year old women you're talking about. On some level, you can't expect them to make decisions just as say, a 40 year old alumna would. Don't assume (and I'm not saying you are, just putting this out there) that there is some "war on legacies" going on. It's just that at many schools there are TOO many to give them the careful consideration they should be getting.

Also, with the RFM placing more women and chapter sizes going up everywhere, there are going to be tons more legacies coming along (as my generation starts to have children.)

Another note:

I think it's all about EDUCATION on both sides. Collegians need to be eucated on the importance of considering legacies in whatever way your selection policy dictates.

On the same token, alumnae need to be educated on the policies and be prepared for the fact that legacy in this day an age doesn't = automatic bid.

I honestly think the "more legacies going through than quota" is not very often true. Honestly, even with Chi Omega (the largest NPC group) it is simply not often the case.

Your point about EDUCATION is spot on!

KSUViolet06 · #6 08-09-2011, 01:33 PM

It depends on the chapter. Some chapters at certain schools are very legacy heavy, even here in the northeast.

Lady Pi · #7 08-09-2011, 02:01 PM

Over the last 30 years, our sororities have grown so much, think about the chapter sizes across the country in 1980 vs. 2010. This is great! And then think about when all of us start to have daughters. The problems we're seeing now at Arkansas and Ole Miss and places are going to become more widespread, and stickier for schools that already have these issues. Being a legacy will mean nothing, maybe it is even required to even be considered for membership! Triple and Quadruple legacies will be much more common. "In-House" legacies may have to take precedent.

My school was not saturated with legacies, but during Recruitment chapters were still wary of "wasting time" on another chapter's legacy, especially if it was a top chapter. This leads to legacy PNM's getting really pressured by dirty tactics to tell other people where they are going, and it's not fair.

All that being said, my mother being my sister is one of the greatest choices of my life, and I would feel so sad if it had turned out any other way. My mom probably would have pitched a hissy fit in "my honor" and been a nasty Alumna! It's hard to mothers who were active during such a different time to realize all the changes that have occurred, and I think Alumnae being more involved could really help the problem. If all the mothers were a part of an Alumnae Association and have been kept up to date from the beginning, things would be a lot easier. That being said, that is a very unrealistic goal!

KSUViolet06 · #8 08-09-2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Pi

If all the mothers were a part of an Alumnae Association and have been kept up to date from the beginning, things would be a lot easier. That being said, that is a very unrealistic goal!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: according to my observations, the alumna who throws the biggest hissy fit about her daughter being cut is typically the one who has been the LEAST involved in the sorority (not in an alumnae chapter, doesn't volunteer) and is the least familiar with our policy.

And re: in house legacies taking precedent:

We've discussed on here the concept of Super Legacies. Ex: children of highly involved alumnae and in-house legacies via a currently active sister receiving extra courtesies beyond the policy. The more I think about it, the more it may be a good idea (selecctive colleges and universities have been doing it forever.)

NutBrnHair · #9 08-09-2011, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Pi

My school was not saturated with legacies, but during Recruitment chapters were still wary of "wasting time" on another chapter's legacy, especially if it was a top chapter. This leads to legacy PNM's getting really pressured by dirty tactics to tell other people where they are going, and it's not fair.

It will not come as a surprise to some of you that I've always been a *tad* competitive and one of my great joys was "stealing" other groups legacies! My best success was the granddaughter of one of the Phi Mu chapter's charter members!

I do recognize and agree with you that a "top rushing chapter" usually pledges their own legacies, but that never stopped me from trying!

carnation · #10 08-09-2011, 02:15 PM

KSU, but you just know that if a sorority had that policy, the major super legacy would be Miss Skank Ho of 2011 so maybe case-by-case is better. However, you've spoken of how the Chapter Rush Crush that everyone has to have often turns out to be a disappointment. Too true and it breaks my heart when a much sought-after PNM casually drops out of the chapter after several months and a legacy who would have been the best member ever was dropped in that same recruitment.

I'm all for everyone attempting to maximize legacy placement!

IndianaSigKap · #11 08-09-2011, 02:31 PM

During the three years that I participated in rush as an active member, I often helped with the Panhel paperwork. All three years, Theta had over 100 legacies going through. One of the years, Kappa had over 100 legacies. Depending on the geographic area, certain chapters will always have a ton of legacies come through. One of the things that we did as a chapter was to invite legacies and PNMs with letters of rec to dinner or lunch at the chapter house. It helped us give the legacies extra consideration because we got to know them for a longer period of time in a less stressful setting.

Benzgirl · #12 08-09-2011, 02:41 PM

Legacy means different things to different people. Speaking for those I know, most college-aged girls don't care if they are a legacy unless the chapter is one of the "top" chapters on the campus where they are attending. If they are a legacy to a struggling chapter, do you think there will be a bond? Absolutely not.

While I am friends with women who themselves are legacies (or in some cases double-legacies) and they joke about their daughters becoming triple legacies, it all depends on the individual or family.

I'm an acquaintance of a woman who was in one of the top chapters at Ohio State when I was there. While that chapter is still very strong, neither of her daughters even preferenced that sorority. Why? Things change over time and legacy isn't as important to everyone. I just remember when the first daughter pledged, the mother wrote on her FB page, "I told her she could pledge any chapter except ABC". I had to laugh because those two chapters plus the one that the daughters pledged were considered the three strongest at OSU when I was in school, and they were "rivals".

AZTheta · #13 08-09-2011, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I honestly think the "more legacies going through than quota" is not very often true. Honestly, even with Chi Omega (the largest NPC group) it is simply not often the case.

OK so the researcher jumps into the convo: need.more.data. Can't make a broad generalization.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It depends on the chapter. Some chapters at certain schools are very legacy heavy, even here in the northeast.

As well as here at AZ. Without divulging specifics or crossing any lines, I can share that we have more than enough verified legacies registered for recruitment to take a quota of 70+.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap

During the three years that I participated in rush as an active member, I often helped with the Panhel paperwork. All three years, Theta had over 100 legacies going through. One of the years, Kappa had over 100 legacies. Depending on the geographic area, certain chapters will always have a ton of legacies come through. One of the things that we did as a chapter was to invite legacies and PNMs with letters of rec to dinner or lunch at the chapter house. It helped us give the legacies extra consideration because we got to know them for a longer period of time in a less stressful setting.

I don't understand the bolded. Can you elaborate? Is this an informal recruitment/COB situation? If we did that in our current recruitment set-up, we'd be slapped upside the head with so many recruitment infractions we'd be seeing the Milky Way.

IndianaSigKap · #14 08-09-2011, 02:59 PM

At Indiana, we have spring deferred rush that occurs in January before second semester starts. The chapters all have formal dinner at least 2 nights a week, many have 3 or 4. By formal dinner, I mean pin attire, china, waiters, prayer song the beginning, another song before dessert was served and then dismissed by house mother. During the first semester, we were not on silence. Silence did not start until the week before the open house round of rush. Until silence we could invite PNMs to dinner at the chapter house. We typically invited legacies, girls we had recs for, girls from other campus organizations, classes or hometowns. In fact, I hosted girls a lot. I had at least one guest a week during the whole first semester until silence. It was a commonly accepted practice there, all chapters did it. I attended dinner at several chapters before I rushed.

KSUViolet06 · #15 08-09-2011, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

However, you've spoken of how the Chapter Rush Crush that everyone has to have often turns out to be a disappointment. Too true and it breaks my heart when a much sought-after PNM casually drops out of the chapter after several months and a legacy who would have been the best member ever was dropped in that same recruitment.

I'm all for everyone attempting to maximize legacy placement!

This is true, but remember, we are dealing with college-aged women whose focus is generally their campus. By nature of that, Miss Campus Queen Freshman (Freshman Homecoming Maid, Freshman Hall President, etc.) whom everyone knows from HS is often more on their radar than Lindsay Legacy who isn't well known at college yet and went to HS in a completely different town (but is an excellent student with tons of involvement and would make a good addition.)