Hazing & Rush

[Kevin]

Those of you who come from chapters who do haze, do you reveal the fact that your chapter hazes to potential rushees? Or do you just consider this to be common knowledge? If asked about it point blank, what kind of response is given?

For those of you who come from chapters which don't haze or practice some sort of national programming instead, what do you do with the potential rushee who is expecting to be hazed, and even looking forward to it? How do you convince those you don't haze when they are convinced that you do?

[tunatartare]

I can't picture any fraternity or sorority revealing that they haze during rush/recruitment. Wouldn't that be an even bigger liability with reporters going undercover and rushing? (I know there was a thread about one such case a while ago.) And what would you say? During your new member period, you will get to learn more about Alpha Beta Gamma Delta Epsilon by having your fat circled, carrying bricks wrapped in gift wrap, and wearing ridiculous costumes.

[AlphaFrog]

We don't haze, but I remember a girl who wanted to be.

I was told by a group that DOES haze that they didn't at recruitment. There was also a group that does things that could be considered hazing (not telling pledges when I-week is, small stuff that fits the definition, but isn't a big deal) that said during rush that they didn't haze.

[KSUViolet06]

We get alot of girls who come through thinking that the NM period is going to be similar to that of some Lifetime movie, and they're like shaking and nervous on the night of Arc Degree (NM ceremony) thinking that something awful is going to happen to them. They are quite relieved once they go through it and realize that it's perfectly harmless.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by JocelynC

We get alot of girls who come through thinking that the NM period is going to be similar to that of some Lifetime movie, and they're like shaking and nervous on the night of Arc Degree (NM ceremony) thinking that something awful is going to happen to them. They are quite relieved once they go through it and realize that it's perfectly harmless.

I love Your style and feelings!

This is the way it should be!

[bows&toes]

Most people that go through our rush expect it. If they ask about it point blank, I would definitely downplay it and say something to the tune of "it's not so bad" and change the subject to be safe.

I know that 99% of our pledges go into it WANTING to get the full experience, and they expect to get hazed. If we didn't haze them, they would lose respect for the chapter and would be disappointed with their pledging experience.

[shinerbock]

Yeah, unless they're from another region of the country, they know about hazing usually. If they ask, which doesnt happen often, we say stuff like "its tough, but fun." I notice that a lot of guys going through rush make comments as if to tell us that they know they'll get hazed, and they're ready for it. Its usually something like, "I really like it here, I know its gonna be rough pledging, but thats the point." Like I said earlier, when I was pledge trainer and we had to initiate a couple weeks early, some of the new guys felt slighted when they found out the stuff they would have done.

[jadis96]

Originally Posted by JocelynC

We get alot of girls who come through thinking that the NM period is going to be similar to that of some Lifetime movie, and they're like shaking and nervous on the night of Arc Degree (NM ceremony) thinking that something awful is going to happen to them. They are quite relieved once they go through it and realize that it's perfectly harmless.

We always had the same thing. NM's scared to death until they got through the night. We did have one NM during my junior year who basically begged to be hazed. She flat out told some actives that she was disappointed. When her violet sister (not big sis, but someone who is there to answer questions the and is paired with a NM until she gets her big) sat down and talked to her what she wanted to happen was not hazing like is discussed here. She just wanted to be singled out more but not in a negative way at all. We later figured out she was kind of a drama queen and wanted more attention. When she realized the difference between hazing and attention she was happier.

[Elephant Walk]

Like I said earlier, when I was pledge trainer and we had to initiate a couple weeks early, some of the new guys felt slighted when they found out the stuff they would have done.

Agreed. We were pretty dissapointed when we it wasn't as bad as we thought we should or as the previous classes had gotten it.

[emb021]

Originally Posted by ktsnake

For those of you who come from chapters which don't haze or practice some sort of national programming instead, what do you do with the potential rushee who is expecting to be hazed, and even looking forward to it? How do you convince those you don't haze when they are convinced that you do?

Haven't quite had that experience. We had one rushee who thought we might haze and was 'willing to go thru it', but I quickly explained we don't and they didn't have anything to worry about.

[bows&toes]

I literally chose NOT to pledge a certain chapter because they told me they "don't do anything really" for pledgeship, reffering to hazing. I later found out he was lying to me, and they really do haze, but at the time I lost all respect for that chapter. I wanted to get the full experience, not some half-way wussy pledgeship where anybody can just walk right through.

I have still, to this day never seen a respected chapter that doesnt have lineups, PT, etc. I have been to many, 15-20~.

[KAY10]

My line pledged old skool. It was six of us. I think hazing has it's good points and bad. The bad is it's very unhealthy. But the good is I love Kappa and appreciate it and respect it til the day I die. If I just skated in, I don't think I would love it as much as I do now. But everyone is different. I went through my pledge period for 16 weeks. Would I do it to someone else. No! Strange, but I can't do to anyone what was done to me. It would bother me.

[EE-BO]

Good question.

For me, the tone of the question and my overall impression of who was asking would dictate my answer.

If I got the sense that it was just a nervous freshman asking a fair question, I would let them know that they would never be physically beaten, forced to drink alcohol, made to remove their clothing or forced to humiliate themselves in public.

And this was the truth. We did not do those things. Pledgeship was most definitely demanding on one's time- but actives shared those obligations as well. We all worked to earn our letters as pledges (as well it should be), but actives lead by example- and so everyone had to do their part and pledges were not asked to engage in activities that would reflect poorly on the chapter.

But I never discussed that second part. Prospective members have no business knowing all the details of what might or might not happen. They just needed to know that in our house they would never be asked to do anything that would put them at risk, violate their privacy or would make their personal reputation suffer on campus.

A pledge may not be a brother yet, but he is still a part of his chapter. A pledge's respect for his chapter and its mission is just as important as that of any brother. Or to put it another way- a fraternity's standing on campus is only as good as its current pledge class. This is the message brothers should impart during rush- the rest needs to be part of the fun once you have been bid and accepted.

On the other hand, I often ran into rushees who asked hazing questions in a more direct and confrontational tone.

In these instances, I just answered as I did above- and then at the appropriate time when the brothers were going over the rushees and comparing notes, I made sure those individuals were removed from invitation lists and not extended a bid.

Sounds harsh- but we have a lot of people to meet and visit with, and those first impressions must inevitably carry greater significance than would be ideal. It is my experience that rushees who repeatedly ask about hazing in a confrontational manner are either undercover snitches or they are coming into the fraternity life with an expectation of what they are entitled to as a brother- but no sense of committment.

Rush for guys is a pretty easy process- really. But I am glad this topic was posted because how a rushee asks about hazing is one thing that can really have a sudden impact on their chances.

For any rushees reading this thread, I would suggest that the best answer to this question will come from the sororities. If you know any ladies at your college of choice who are in the Greek system, ask them about it. If they are your friend they will give you an honest appraisal of the reputation of the houses you are interested in rushing.

But don't be afraid to ask the question during rush (provided you ask it as I suggest above.) If you are not interested in being hazed, then asking the question will let the hazing houses know you are not a good candidate and you won't end up in a place you don't want to be.

But the houses that do not haze heavily will respect your question and if they want you as a member they will make it very clear what you don't have to worry about so that you will be more likely to accept a bid if offered.

Every Greek organization is going to have some rites of passage that must be completed- and that is just common sense. But there is no harm in trying to find out how far it will go. After all, how far it does go is not just about hazing itself- it says a lot about what is important to the character of a chapter.

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by ktsnake

Those of you who come from chapters who do haze, do you reveal the fact that your chapter hazes to potential rushees? Or do you just consider this to be common knowledge? If asked about it point blank, what kind of response is given?

For those of you who come from chapters which don't haze or practice some sort of national programming instead, what do you do with the potential rushee who is expecting to be hazed, and even looking forward to it? How do you convince those you don't haze when they are convinced that you do?

People who like to get hazed are usually the ones who like to haze others, so they ususally get blackballed for something else before it's an issue, b/c there are other indicators. No one who will haze future pledges is allowed in the first place.

Hazing is a cop-out anyway. So you ate kitty-litter, so what? All that proves is you're a dumbass for eating the kitty-litter. That is no substitute for living up to what you say you will do.

[lyrica9]

i met a girl when i was in spain who is in a sorority that hazes, and she told me there were hints during rush, but that on bidday they flat out told them "remember us like this, having fun, because this is how we really are. for the rest of the time you're a pledge we're going to be bitches and you'll hate us, but it's worth it."

i was amazed that some of the things she told me actually happen to people.