Friends or Lovers?

librasoul22 · #1 10-16-2002, 09:42 PM

Something tells me there was a thread about this a while back, but I am too lazy to look for it.

Okay. Do y'all think that it is possible for girls to have a platonic friendship with a straight guy? Do any of you ladies have a (straight) guy as your best friend? Has there ever been any sexual chemistry?

Dionysus · #2 10-16-2002, 10:40 PM

I don't know about other girls. Since I'm the type who wants to be friends before entering a relationship, I'm attracted virtually all of my close guy friends, otherwise I wouldn't touch them w/ a 10 foot pole.

librasoul22 · #3 10-16-2002, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
I don't know about other girls. Since I'm the type who wants to be friends before entering a relationship, I'm attracted virtually all of my close guy friends, otherwise I wouldn't touch them w/ a 10 foot pole.

See, that's the problem right there. You are attracted to them? So can one be friends with a guy and ONLY have a platonic relationship? No attraction?

I have a pretty good mastery of my "friends/sexual attraction switch," but it is really hard for me to be friends with a physically attractive guy without wanting more.

Dionysus · #4 10-16-2002, 10:52 PM

Yeah, I think it is possible, but not often.

#5 10-16-2002, 10:56 PM

From experience I say that you definately can.

Most of my best guy friends I was really attracted to at first and the feeling for a few was mutual. The one there was a some sexual chemistry with, I think we just both knew and felt it'd be better to be friends. We werent friends with benefits, but friends who were touchy-feely. That is grabbing and fiddling with each others hands when we saw each other and leaning/hugging on each other.

The1calledTKE · #6 10-16-2002, 11:04 PM

Its possible one of my best friends from high school was a girl. It start off with me having a crush on her but after a year she became like a sister.

AOX81 · #7 10-17-2002, 08:39 AM

Throughout high school and first couple years of college (pre-sorority) the majority of my close friends were males. Only one of them developed into something more...we ended up getting married.

BearyCuteAPhi · #8 10-17-2002, 10:37 AM

My (straight) guy bestfriend is now my boyfriend.

However I do think it is possible because I have had, in the past, a completely platonic relationship with a (straight) guy. So it is possible...

ronnie

Bamboozled · #9 10-17-2002, 11:11 AM

I do think it's possible to have a platonic friend of the opposite sex. My best friend is a male and for the most part, there has never been any sexual tension. We've been friends since freshman year of high school and only once was there any "tension". When I was a junior, I was dating a freshman in college and he decided last minute that he was too "mature" to take me to prom that year. So, I was dateless. All of a sudden, both of our families and all of our mutual friends started saying that me and my best friend should go together. It was just an awkward situation because I think both of us started thinking "what if". It was weird for like a week, but we both vetoed the idea and I ended up just not going. He is now happily married and we remain the best of friends. Fortunatley, his wife also went to high school with us, so she understands our friendship and never tries to stand in the way of it.

So, this leads me to another question.... If you are not married yet, how will you handle it if your mate has a best friend of the opposite sex? Will you make him/her end the friendship? If you are married, has this ever been an issue for you?

texas*princess · #10 10-17-2002, 11:23 AM

I think it is very possible (for some people) to have a friend or best friend of the opposite sex and not be attacted to him/her in *that way*.

My best friend since probably the 8th grade is a (straight) guy. We've never been in that awkward situation, it has just always been platonic. And I have a serious long-term boyfriend (not the same guy!) so you see, it can be done sometimes

I think it just depends on what the persons are like.

In answer to Bamboozled's question about making spouse end a friendship if it is of the opposite sex, I wouldn't even think of it. I'm not married, but if I did get married and my guy has a best friend who is female I wouldn't ask him to end the friendship. And I would hope he wouldn't as me to end my friendship with my male friend. That's like asking "pick them or me", and that is not cool!

DigitalAngel126 · #11 10-17-2002, 12:38 PM

one of my best guy friends i want to lock in my room all night and have my way with...so poo...and the other one i used to be attracted to, but now we're best friends and i couldnt handle 'being with him'... my other best guy friend is gay so i guess that opts him out of this question

CarolinaCutie · #12 10-17-2002, 12:48 PM

I definitely think that male/female relationships can be platonic. I have a close guy friend who is physically attractive... but I have never actually BEEN attracted to him. Maybe it is the fact that he is a good friend, but I know 100% that we would make a terrible couple. Either way, I have never been tempted. We have slept in a bed together completely drunk and no sexual physical contact has ever happened between us. And that's the way I like it... he makes me feel safe and happy in a friendly way, and I wouldn't want to throw off that balance.

Now whether or not HE thinks the relationship is strictly platonic, I couldn't say. I've heard some guys say that they are not "friends" with any girl, just waiting it out until they can make a move. I certainly hope he doesn't feel that way though.

Optimist Prime · #13 10-17-2002, 01:15 PM

I think so, because i'm friends with my brothers girlfriends and some girls from classes.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #14 10-17-2002, 05:25 PM

Sure, it can happen

Heck, my 2 best friends are guys. I think I've only been attracted to one before...but then I remember all his emotional baggage! lol! My boyfriend since the frist day we've met has been my best friend also, but, I much rather keep this one on the lover side.. *blushes*