Who gets the ring?

Lady Pi Phi · #1 01-26-2004, 01:10 PM

In the wake of the Ben and J.Lo break up, everyone is talking about who gets to keep the ring.
Now, for the record, who cares about these 2. They don't need the money, and she doesn't need another piece of jewlery.

The question is, what is proper ettiquette?

The way I see it, using J.Lo and Ben as an example, since she dumped him, she should give it back. But if he dumped her, then she should be able to keep it and do what she likes with it.

What do you guys think? What is the proper ettiquette for broken engagements?

sigtau305 · #2 01-26-2004, 01:14 PM

I say return it. There's no point in keeping it.

xok85xo · #3 01-26-2004, 01:14 PM

I believe if he breaks up with her, she should keep it. If she breaks up with him, she gives it back.

rainbowbrightCS · #4 01-26-2004, 01:16 PM

proper ettiquette is when a couple break up they keep any gift the other bought them EXCEPT promise rings/ engagment ring/ and family heirlooms.

SO she should give it back. Why would she want to keep it any way, it would just remind her of him and what that rings stood for.

Chris

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 01-26-2004, 03:46 PM

They should give it to me.

honeychile · #6 01-26-2004, 03:52 PM

Barring Peaches-and-Cream's worthy suggestion, I think it should go to whomever bought it. An engagement ring is a symbol of a promise, and if he bought it, it should be returned to him. Doubly so if it's an heirloom.

AEPhiSierra · #7 01-26-2004, 04:49 PM

I think in legal terms the ring has to go back to whomever bought it. An engagement ring is sort of like a contract. Almost like the engagement ring is payment for a service that will be provided, marriage. If the service isn't provided you have to give the person their payment back.

Sounds kind of sketchy but I think that is how the law works in a lot of states.

rho4life · #8 01-26-2004, 04:55 PM

I am not sure where Bennifer are considered residents, b/c they have homes all over the place, but........

In CA, LEGALLY [not morally], the person who got dumped keeps the ring. This also applies to other property [ie cars, homes etc] which was bought in preparation for the marriage, and only bought in reliance on the promise of impending nuptiuals [sp?].

To the dumpee go the spoils! However, if it was an heirloom ring, and it went to court, the dumper could argue for specific performance, and pay the appraised value of the ring to get it back.

I have heard that it was a mutual split, therefore they both hold on to all the extravagent gifts they exchanged.

aurora_borealis · #9 01-26-2004, 05:01 PM

My understanding is this (not legal just etiquette):
If it is a family heirloom, it goes back to that family regardless.
If she dumps him, he gets it back
If he dumps her, she gets to keep it.

But that is according to Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post.

alsparky · #10 01-26-2004, 05:16 PM

I read somewhere that she should return the ring to him upon the termination of the engagement UNLESS it was given as a gift (Christmas, anniversary, birthday, Valentine's Day, etc.)

That may be Massachusetts Law, I'm not sure.

Why would you want to keep it though?

Allison

GtownGirl98 · #11 01-26-2004, 05:18 PM

I second AB.. according to the NEW Emily Post book. I will double check when I get home, but if I break it off, I give it back... if he breaks it off, I get to keep.... unless it was an heirloom. If it were mutual then I would give it back. I think the reason why you would get to keep it and the reason I would... isn't for the meaning that it holds but the cash value I could get. I know that I would be that bitter about it.

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 01-26-2004, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aurora_borealis
My understanding is this (not legal just etiquette):
If it is a family heirloom, it goes back to that family regardless.
If she dumps him, he gets it back
If he dumps her, she gets to keep it.

But that is according to Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post.

I heard that also. I also heard that if the ring is a family heirloom, the man buys a ring of comparable value for her if he dumps her. "Honey, here's a ring. Now hit the road!"

MTSUGURL · #13 01-26-2004, 05:26 PM

When I broke up with my fiance, he didn't want to keep the ring. I did want to at first because it was so pretty - I was going to wear it on my right hand. When I put it on, I felt like I was chaining myself to something. I traded it for another ring (one he stole from me and pawned) and never had a moment's regret.

rainbowbrightCS · #14 01-26-2004, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
When I broke up with my fiance, he didn't want to keep the ring. I did want to at first because it was so pretty - I was going to wear it on my right hand. When I put it on, I felt like I was chaining myself to something. I traded it for another ring (one he stole from me and pawned) and never had a moment's regret.

if the person who bought it does not want it back you can keep it.

I got a promise ring from an ex and he told me the day that he gave it to me that if we ever break up for any reason I was to keep and do what ever I wanted with it wear it/ pawn it...

So almost a year later we did break up, I still have it. I wear it on my right hand to help me think of the good times we had and remeber the beauty of our relationship.

I also made it my own promise ring, to be true to my self and do eveything in my power to better my self.

Chris

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #15 01-26-2004, 06:00 PM

I'd give it back. I could never wear it without thinking of him/the relationship.... and to sell it would seem strange to me.

Plus, if you kept it.... how're you going to explain that to Mr. Right?
"Oh, this? This is just my engagement ring from my exfiancee."

Even put away in a jewelry box it seems like it'd breed problems!